I have a first date coming up with a man this saturday. Any tips?

Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty child even, ok, and if you were a naughty child you would also be waging war on Christmas? Then hypothetically speaking you would be on my little Naughty List. Now let's say that you're also a non-Christian child, now that we've established you're both a bad child and non-Christian child, then I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a stocking full of coal, am I not correct? A bad child deserves a stocking full of coal and as I am Father Christmas, you are my child, so I am the one who must provide punishment.