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:marseycryinglaptop: "I waited 7 years to read this book. 7 years. And I am not going to finish it."

Brandon Sanderson

For those that don't know, Brandon Sanderson is a Mormon author that specializes in writing fantasy for people that believe video games are art. The Mormonism manifests itself as embarassing and clunky attempts at insults.

For example:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737671870Kvc_MTpNz59zxA.webp

But don't worry. He doesn't need the crutch of Mormonism to help him write atrocities.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737671870NQXDu6LBVR-YFw.webp

Sanderson started getting big in 2006 when not mentioning current-day issues in your writing wasn't considered violence. Because his early work was inoffensive, some of his fans had certain opinions and would be described as chud-adjacent today. We'll come back to them in a moment.

With success came the the desire to expand, and what better way to reach more people than making it more relatable™ and courting a "modern audience"! It started out subtle: a background character making comments about the same s*x, allegories about mental health and, eventually, an out-of-place political desire to install a modern democracy in a medieval fantasy world. It got progressively more obvious with each new book, but it clearly worked, because you can't go anywhere online to discuss fiction now without being bombarded with Sanderson recommendations.

And now a large chunk of his fan base looks like this

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737671871NFd3R_L30bIXfA.webp


Wind and Truth

The most recent addition to the Sanderson Literary Universe was the 5th book in the Stormlight Archive series, Wind and Truth.

We're going to look at some 1-star reviews, which are mostly chuds dumb enough to have kept reading up until now.

Remember the excerpts from earlier? ALL his writing is like that. All 4 previous books in the series. These geniuses endured 4,546 pages of slop to get to this point


Goodreads Link. Sort by 1-star reviews. 2-stars are also funny, but it's mostly just people begging him to get another editor.


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17376718706x5_66wehRr1rw.webp

I will be honest, I cried

I didn't realize I was reading garbage until there was a gay character!

:c#hudjakcrytalking:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737671870dLHedlU6YgTrpA.webp

^ This is an actual quote :marseyemojilaugh:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17376718703gWw8HQzgDa4NA.webp :#marseylongpost2:

This guy wrote a whole novel in protest

Can't read it? You're welcome!

It turns into an impassioned plea for Sanderson to renounce Mormonism in favour of mainstream Christianity, which is funny, but not actually worth reading.


https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737671870rl9tlZIUHpXirw.webp

:#pepereeeeee:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17376718716jgxQfMuvSdXeA.webp

I couldn't drug myself to sleep, so I used boring audiobooks

:#marseylaugh:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/1737671871Sd19V7vol_v_pw.webp

The best part of these 1-star reviewers pouring out their hearts (and some of them posting from accounts with face pics and real names) is that none of it meant anything. The book was well-received overall and will fund the next 5 books in the series! :platyrich:

148
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Can't speak to it getting redditier or whatever, but I used to read a lot of Sanderson until Stormlight book 4 was so ungodly slow and boeing it totally killed my interest in his work. A good five hundred pages of fricking nothing happening at all.

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Brandon Sanderson is a Mormon author that specializes in writing fantasy for people that believe video games are art

:#marseychefkiss:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17334134537326243.webp

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I literally never read posts that are more than maybe 3 sentences but I was so pleased with the line above that I read this in full and am coming back 5+ minutes later to appreciate it again

Excellent post

!friendsofcarp I order you to follow @ShriekingGeek


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17334134537326243.webp

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I literally never read posts that are more than maybe 3 sentences

:#marseydisagree:

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If you need more than three sentences maybe what you has to say wasn't that important.

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Unironically. When someone starts at me with a :marseylongpost: type speech in person and I know it could be shorter and do not much care about details, I insist, interrupting them to insist,

Summarize it in two sentences.

94% of the time, they can.

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Academia figured this out decades ago. Every article has to start with the abstract, that summarizes everything you did and the results you got in less than 300 words.

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:#itendsnow:

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You'll never know.

:marseyclueless:

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I don't know how to read :marseysad:

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I literally never read posts that are more than maybe 3 sentences

:#marseyme:

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don't be such a storming personification of cancerous anal discharge....

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Video games are movies that interrupt themselves to make you move a character to a certain group of pixels so you can watch the next part

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^ consumed too much snoy interactive movies

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I was making fun of them silly goose

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https://media.tenor.com/QI7pwszPGvgAAAAx/goose-see.webp

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:#marseygoose2:

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I tried making this argument to a Visual Novel fan IRL and he didn't get it.

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k but vidya is art tho ?

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Anyone who says dark souls isn't art is wrong (and, ironically, is also putting art on a pedestal that it doesn't deserve).

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The graphics and music are like any other 3d model or song but the vidya itself isn't


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17334134537326243.webp

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Gaymer moment :#marseysoyswitchtalking:

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1738366578Ad4HK103VGs0UA.webp

like bread scraped over too much butter.

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A dim mood was cast over the trio, like an incandescent lightbulb filled with helium rather than argon

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:marseyxd:

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https://media.tenor.com/I9Z9wfg8sm4AAAAx/old-man-lotr.webp

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"I'm more put off by gays!"

"No, I'M more put off by gays!! That makes me da alpha!!!"

I have no point to make other than my disgust reaction to people becoming incontinent from random shit in my preferred flavor of worldbuilding wank

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I'm put off by a "romance" taking up 1/3 of a fantasy book.

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Wdym? :marseyconfused:

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I remember I was talking to a woman once and she tried to shill Sanderson to me and was talking about how all of his characters go to therapy or whatever and I was like "darn that sounds worthless."

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I like it and I am chud/chud adjacent. Its not great writing, but its an interesting story.

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Keep yourself safe

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I think I'll just finish the book beside my nice fireplace while my wife rubs my feet after a long day instead.

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>chud

>has a wife

>into feet

:taymindblown: oh you're Mormon. I'm sorry to hear that, praying that they find a cure.

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Nope, not a mormon. Not really sure what you'd call me. Probably normal.

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Not here you're not.

If I had the desire to burn you, I'd just call you ordinary.

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I dont think I can get any more ordinary. It was a long journey to get there.

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We already have a cure for Mormonism.

:#marseycrusader: :#marseydoit:

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:pepegun: and I got one for you

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Its not just the chuds though. Pretty much all of book Reddit dislikes the book, including Sanderson's own subreddits. Pretty much all the book-youtubers dislike/hate the book. These are people who're almost all very liberal, who made their careers in large part through sucking Sanderson's peepee.

It's gotten so bad that Sanderson has had to come and defend the book on Reddit.

Also reading through the complaints it doesn't really seem focused on chud-adjacent things. People aren't complaining about the progressive elements existing, they're complaining about how awfully incompetently and boringly they're handled.

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reddit book :marseyskull:

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"How about... "

Jhonny brushed himself off and wiped his face with a lace handkerchief

"…You go to heck you ignorant twatwaffle!"

As he threw the handkerchief on the marble floor.

:#soysnoo:

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I enjoyed the one Sanderson book I read.

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Reported by:

:marseydownvote:

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Frick you. Anti mormon bias in this country is ridiculous.

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:marseycheerup:

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DIE DIE DIE

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people shouldn't make fun of this fake religion involving space aliens and groping women through a curtain during their wedding (where they wear holy underwear) because ... they just shouldn't, okay? :soycry:

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Get r*ped

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DM me, maybe we can work smth out

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repent, sinner

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Every time :marseypraying:

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sodomy is a sin.

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More comments

Well I won't judge. I used to enjoy reading Ed Greenwood DnD slop lol

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I read the first of the storm light archives and kind of liked it but I let a few years go by before trying the second one and lasted fifty pages of not remembering or understanding what was going on anymore and dropped it

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It got progressively more obvious with each new book

Is this a pun? :marseyshook:

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>holy heck I've invested so much time in this garbage

Me reading Black House

Took two attempts to finally finish it.

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I'm going to blow your minds here. All fantasy is trash, and all for the same reasons, which go back all the way to the grandfather of the genre, Lord of the Rings.

1. All fantasy novels try to tell an epic story involving multiple groups of people working toward a common goal. You think this sounds ok if all you read is sci fi or fantasy, or you don't ordinarily read at all, so you want your books to resemble your favorite TV series. For visual media, or anything episodic, it's necessary to have a cast of characters doing different things, and to switch between points of view to keep the audience engaged, but it isn't nearly as common in fiction, where your audience should be expected to have the attention span to follow a single point of view for a few hundred pages. Even great TV shows like Twin Peaks suffer from their multiple points of view by having at least one group of people who are clearly the show's B-squad (Donna and her idiot motorcycle boyfriend in the case of Twin Peaks). Every single fantasy novel ever written (even Lord of the Rings) has huge swaths of pages where you start asking yourself "why am I reading about this butthole? where is the main character?". It's the number one crime of all fantasy as a genre.

2. Fantasy novels love extraneous characters. A sane author of fiction will not name a character unless this serves a purpose, either because their name is significant to the plot or because they're going to appear multiple times throughout the story. It's along the same lines as that rule that you shouldn't show a gun in a movie unless it's going to be fired at some point. Why are you telling me that the waiter's name at the local tavern is Bradigar or whatever? Who the frick cares? Fantasy authors think you need to know everyone's name because they are all neurodivergent and they think more irrelevant things to memorize makes the world deeper and more three dimensional. They are confused and believe an abundance of pointless details is what makes a story complex, instead of characterizing only important people through their thoughts and dialogue like a real author.

3. Fantasy authors think they can rely on all the tropes created before them, copying every single one of them, yet somehow they're going to do it better. Let's be fair and leave out the stuff that is lifted from LOTR, which was published like 80 years ago. How about fantasy battles among armies, a key component of just about every fantasy novel, and not something Tolkien spent a lot of time on. Pick up a history book and read about how Alexander the Great and/or Julius Caesar fought battles, and if you haven't done so before, a light bulb should go off over your head as you notice that every single battle fought in any fantasy novel is based on like 4 or 5 battles those two fought in real life.

And then let's just get into the LOTR problem. Sure battles weren't lifted from it, but even major fantasy series started as LOTR pastiches. Sword of Shannara and Eye of the World (first book of Wheel of Time) were just basic retellings of Fellowship of the Ring. The authors of these books only pivoted to find their own personality because someone started paying them to do something original.

4. Plot over characterization. This isn't unique to fantasy, it's just a general problem I have with genre fiction. All of it reads like Tom Clancy. Nobody has any depth of character, no one ever does anything unique or original or makes you think about life, or makes you pause because you read something that gave you some kind of insight into what the author believes (other than that they're an neurodivergent sperg). The author only cares about spending way too many pages writing out their overly convoluted plot, which is usually about as interesting as a JRPG. They're books written for TV series consumers with no attention span.

I could probably write a book about how much I hate the fantasy genre, even though it was my favorite thing in the world (when I was in HIGH SCHOOL) but if I did that, I'd be a giant hack like Brandon Sanderson.

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/17238973634696946.webp

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I don't like fantasy but his fellow mormon Card wrote some interesting ones because one or two of his characters are often psychologically messed up in some unexpected way.

Yeah genre fiction overall is not "art". It's pure entertainment that by its definition cannot truly surprise you because it must adhere to certain guidelines.

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Have you read any of that one guy who trapped his kids in his basement in the 70s?

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No, I haven't heard of that.

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it definitely made his works take on a new meaning knowing his kids were starving beneath his floor while writing

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I read one Sanderson's books (it was suggested to me) and it was probably the blandest thing I've ever read. Every character was a trope and none of them were interesting in the slightest. And the main character had zero personality outside of being whiny and sad

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Dude someone enthusiastically recommended I read the stormlight archive a few years ago and I happily dug in and got through like two chapters before I did one of these

https://media1.tenor.com/m/xYfiVQ9P5OgAAAAd/studying-silverlinings.gif

It's just not good.

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You didn't miss anything at all. The power system was kind of cool but everything else sucked

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It would be decent if it was a single book, it's not good enough to read war and peace 4 times over

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I felt like this when I read two of the Faithful and the Fallen books by some fantasyslop author. I kind of felt like all the characters were tropes and I could see the twist the guy wanted to end the trilogy with a mile away.

Why's it so hard for people to just write normal fantasy?

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Fantasy is a manchild genre. Pick up science fiction like a real adult.

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Book series are for kids. The same goes for TV or movie series. Tell your story in one installment or don't tell it at all :marseyindignant: !bookworms !kino

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https://media.tenor.com/8mddYUccA9cAAAAx/wrong-drumpf.webp

The Neopolitan novels are the best thing published in the 2010s.

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Going to buy omnibuses only now to prove I'm an adult :marseybigbrain:

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I mean why would you spend time on made up stories anyway. Are you 5 years old or something?

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They're the same thing.

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Right but one's for children and the developmentally stunted, and the other's for adults.

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I honestly think people who write fantasy and sci-fi are more interested in world building and lore and it definitely feels like the characters are neglected sometimes. It's funny though because most of the worlds and their histories are all very similar.

It's all midwit slop (except for The Prince of Nothing series)

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Isn't Scott Bakker just midwit pop philosophy though?

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No, he's a genius. You just actually gotta read his books

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Sanderson writes books for people who like the idea of reading but don't actually enjoy it.

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The funniest :marseypickle: shit was mormons and christians attacking him for saying maybe :marseymight: gays can be loved after all as is he was the great :marseyclapping: satan.

His pros are slock and his editor needs :marseyspecial: to beat him more. There :marseycheerup: are some scenes that hit, and there :marseycheerup: are scenes that are fricking :marseytom: cringe, like kaladin being a thearpist and shit

I read the sunlit man because one of the characters from the book was the lead in it, and it was alright.

The good parts of sanderson is a willingness try. And he does try. And fricking :marseytom: fail sometimes.

I read the first :marseywinner: stormlight book when i was in middleschool, and it seemed deep then, but as an adult :marseyrustyventure: ...

Hes writing :marseytext: like 1000 paged books :marseysexylibrarian: that are supposed to be epic fantasy, so sometime it sucks. Ive read worse, and ive read better :marseygenetakovic: but if i wanted great :marseythumbsup6: pros i dont dont id be reading :marseynerdy: fantast slop.

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his prose

I don't get how you can get past his shitty characters and formulaic writing to care about the prose.

First of all he will have a very powerful super special girl. She won't be like the other girls. Then you have mental illness. Everyone has it and the super special girl gets the coolest mental illness. Trauma. Everywhere.

13 different allegories for racism.

Oh and the worst part? Every plot is: kaladin you have to do the powerup that we heavily alluded to constantly for the last book. Oh no you're too sad to do it? Oh cool you did it at the last moment. Followed by "uh oh that powerup actually isn't strong anymore because of reason. Now we need the next power up or mcguffin"

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Then you have mental illness. Everyone has it

that's an aspect of the books that do get pretty tiresome. I think he finds it an easy out for character development. Character A and character B overcome their mental illness! Ta da! character growth!

:marseyeyeroll:

it's perfectly fine for some characters to work like that and have it happen once or twice but every character and every book? Maybe.... not?

I haven't finished the 5th book yet but I am wondering if he's going to world build some explanation for why everyone is fricked in the head all the time.

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It's not an easy out for character development. It's because he writes for tumblr/livejjournal users and they all are obsessed with mental illness. His writing is made explicitly for fanfic readers.

The main character wants to become a therapist for fricks sake.

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Dalinar was cooler when he was roshars equivalent of Hitler.

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