Seeing this thread where some eurocucks got arrested(!) for their bangalijst, reminded me of that time when the Queen Stacy of Duke fricked half the lacrosse squad, made a powerpoint rating and ranking them, and walked off into a South African sunset consequence-free.

The Subject's Raw Scores were based on an, admittedly subjective, range of criteria that I had established long before commencing my research project:

Physical Attractiveness: points were awarded or deducted based on the Subjects' height, body build (muscle mass and definition), jaw-line, quality/texture/cut of hair, facial structure, penile structures, and eyes/eyebrows

Size: points were determined based on the length and girth of the Subjects' hardware

Talent: points were awarded or deducted based on how well the Subjects utilized their hands, mouths, and equipment (this category is strictly separate from Size)

Creativity: points were given if the Subject showed a willingness to go beyond the standard research positions and/or locations (and a knowledge of how to operate once said position was at hand)

Aggressiveness: points were given if the Subject displayed aggressive behavior and an alpha-male mentality of assuming control of the given situation; points were deducted severely if they simply lay there or did not act assertively.

Entertainment: points were given for extremely amusing actions, great personalities, quotes, sexts, good senses of humor, or simply dirty talk, and were removed if no noises of enjoyment or talk of any kind was present. In other words, how entertained I was

Athletic Ability: points were awarded if the Subject regularly performed exceptionally well on the diamond or field

Bonus: Bonus points were given for extraneous factors, such as the presence of an Australian accent and/or profressional surfing skills. Points were deducted for rudeness or being Canadian.

The lessons:

• Foids > moids

• Duke > Ulztreecht U

• Burgerstan > Stroopwaffenplatz

"How do I rank on your frick list?"

Here's the unredacted slides. The average score is a 6, but it's a bimodal distribution.

Tag urselfs, drama manhoes.