EFFORTPOST "401k Loan And Budgeting Is Ripping This Couple Apart"

This one's really really weird. Something feels incredibly off about his situation or at least the way he talks about it. Please post your opinions because I'm at a loss.

Personal Details -

• 33 y/o Virginian

• Lynchberg

• Job - "Large Tech Company" "Manages Account Managers"

• Father was a Pastor

• Eight siblings growing up, spends a little too much trying to give his kids opportunities that he didn't?

  • issues when trying to save that isn't directly for a thing he wants to buy

• Married for 10 years

  • Caleb suggests couples therapy per usual

Job Status - (He's getting laid off)

• $33k equity every year vests every 3 year?

• 115k 10% bonus half performance half company performance

• 7.5% last year

• "Company is doing well" holding margins and growing a little

• 1.1 billion a quarter revenue? There since 2018

  • Net 200 million

• Company is laying off 8% of workforce

  • Rolling layoffs

  • Found out March 1st that he's getting laid off, but begging him to stay until May 1st

  • Volunteered to be laid off if they were laying off someone at his level?

    • Asked Jesus if he should volunteer to be laid off or not and I guess Jesus said yes?

      • Also he wasn't doing much there? And had gotten complacent? He said this later

    • Cousin says he'll pay 120k at a director level role in a different company

    • Given 3 months Admin Leave

    • Cousin's company decided he was not qualified so this is all down the drain

      • Will be going to get a real estate license instead

    • Other cousin has offered him a real estate job (he is going to try this)

      • plans on bailing if he can't sell something within 3 months

  • They are working on some sort of important legacy system migration but still getting cut?

  • Wife's 'cap' is 40k

  • Severance -

    • ~30k including the Admin leave thing?

    • 35k 2 weeks for every tear there

    • 10k retention bonus for staying

Expenses -

• Donations

  • $800 a month to his church

  • $170 a month to missions

• 6k per year for two kids in private school

  • Hybrid school, home schools 2 days a week

• No mortgage

  • Bought a house for 265'000, sold it for 575'000

  • Some weird stuff with the grandfather giving him money or something? I lost track of the plot

• Lots of going out to eat, the wife takes the kids very frequently instead of cooking them food? Timestamp

  • Weird stories from the wife's childhood something is very very wrong here. Timestamp for anyone willing to help me parse this. I feel like I'm missing something.

• Fast food expenses are appearing on the recurring bills credit card. Timestamp

• Recurring payments for whole organic milk for "allergies" - This turns into "store bought milk is not as good for you"

  • Timestamp

• Budget - income is equal to expenditure

Savings -

• 20'000 savings

  • 10k cash in bank

  • 10k in Bitcoin

  • Only has that 10k cash in the bank because he watched the videos

• Wife and him have 3k in checking account (4%):

• He has 5500 in Etrade (3%)

• Had 36'000 emergency

  • All spent?

  • Can't name where he spent them

  • treated as a slush fund

Debt -

• 401k loan

  • Needed 10k, had 15k on him but needed more

  • For a legal situation 5k retainer, 10k refundable in a year?

  • Portfolio Value $39'000 (including the loan)

• Has gone through cycles of consumer debt in the past?

Credit -

• Credit decimated by a Coles credit card with a balance he forgot about for 6 months

Caleb seethes about some book called "Rich Dad Poor Dad" for a minute or two Timestamp

"I don't know where my money's going"