It's unbelievable how expensive all this is 
Initially, we were going to do a courthouse wedding. A photographer and wedding clothes would have been under 5k, and we could save money for the honeymoon 
Just our parents, and we can go visit everyone else after the honeymoon. Neither pair of parents were impressed with this 
Facing pressure, and with the idea that they would pay costs 
(getting back to this), we decided to plan a simple one day ceremony+reception 
It is not so simple. It's astounding how greedy 
nearly every private vendor is. I have to explicitly make a remark about private vendors; state parks 
have much lower fees to reserve venue space. I do not know why you would choose to rent a private space other than being a brat 
with stupid amounts of cash. No, we are not going to spend $300 :capymerchant just to do some taste testing for a reception dinner. That's the price of a small cake 
I am sick of calling up vendors only for them to demand several thousand dollar minimums, of which our guest list does not even come close to reaching via a price per plate 
Oh by the way, don't forget that a service charge 
is calculated as a percentage of a minimum 
This is mortgage money 
, baby money 
, ANYTHING-ELSE money that instead we are suggested to spend on other people. This is all to put up a Victorian-era farce that should have stayed in last century. What's next; I have to rent out seating for the consummation? 
This would all be fine and dandy if the proponents of these ideas would come forth with funding. But talk about money and they are quick to drag their feet 
Obviously I am not interested in pissing off parents because I am trying not to pay for daycare when the time comes 
No one is even stepping up to offer their property as a venue.
Someone even suggested we take a personal loan out to pay for all this 
Why would you EVER do that?
I want to spend money to build a family, not on ornate crap that does not matter. This is just a hypercapitalistic version of dowry; instead of buying something useful for the other family, like a cow 
, I'm expected to pay OTHER people I will never speak to again an inordinate amount of money 
In short, the west has fallen 
, millions must pay billions for, uh, hors d' oeuvre, chud? 
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It's a bit like Christmas where you're expected to make donations to the appropriate corporations out of societal expectation.
Just do the small wedding and tell the parents to deal with it. If they're petty and unpleasant enough to refuse to see their grandchildren for that reason alone they can get fricked anyway, they're not the kinds of people you want your children around.
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