Jordan, 31, Houston TX
Personal Life/Career:
What does he do? timestamp
3 Jobs
Full time Software Engineer (Govt Agency)
- $119'000
Computer Science Instructor at a Community College
$44 an hour
around 2'500 a month?
Year round classes
Computer Science Instructor at some company?
10 weeks long, once a week, 4 and a half hours weekly
$95 an hour
Seasonal
Career path timestamp
coding boot camp from 2021
Worked at Coinbase for 9 months but left in 2022 when they didn't convert contract to hire
- 1 year unemployed - was also working at community colleges part time teaching prisoners to code?
Govt job started in January
Suffers from 'anxiety' timestmap
Was an agoraphobe for a year 'could not leave [his] house'
- Pre-coinbase
Caleb mentions that he also has this meme disease
Financials:
Self Scored 1/10 timestamp
Lifestyle Inflation timestamp
He has not heard of this term before
He flew in from Houston ($350 plane ticket)
Justification for flying timestamp
280'000 Honda CRV probabaly wouldn't have made it there
Thinks Food is his main spending timestamp
- He is right and it's not even close
Credit Card 1 (Bank of America) ($12'911) timestamp
$13'052 - $423 payments + $0 new purchases + $282 interest ==> $12'911 new balance
785 credit available
408 minimum due next month
Maxed out all his cards after losing coinbase job, decided to go traveling on credit
Credit Card 2 (Chase Freedom) (2'082) timestamp
Almost entirely eating out
$2'486 - $2'486 payments + $2'060 new transactions + $22 interest ==> $2'082
Some credit cards he pays off every month - he doesn't pay off the Discover and BoA
Credit Card 3 (Discover) ($1'576) timestamp
301 interest accrued
no new transactions
Does he budget? timestamp
No
He used to but said "frick it"
Credit Card 4 (Discover) (10'647) timestamp
$13'346 - $3'000 payments + $3000 interest ==> $10'647
$322 minimum payment
A few apple bills
Credit Card 5 (American Express Blue) ($932) timestamp
$40 minimum payment
mostly grocery stores
Paying for hinge premium and not actually using the app
Caleb seething over his own dating failures
Credit Card 6 (Krogers)
- This one's paid off and irrelevant
Loan from Parents ($6'000) timestamp
Parents do not know just how much he is spending
While he was unemployed, hasn't paid anything back to them
Loan from Friend ($4'000) timestamp
- This was money he used for Europe trip/world cup stuff?
$260 on Google Ads timestamp
Monthly
His ex-gf left him for another man
LONG story about his ex's friend's mom owning a pharmacy, going to jail for fraud, the ex paid millions for a pharmacy he thinks is worth a hudnred thousand?
She's in debt for 3 million???????
he decides to make her a website and pay for her google ads
"my friend's like don't be a simp blah blah blah"
"She refuses to talk to me" :marseywtf;
They were on and off for ten years
$1400 a month strip club habit tiemstamp
March or April of this year
went to a strip club in the middle of the day and fricked a stripper at the club?
- Later explains that this was $700 timestamp
Buys stuff for the jail students when he hits the grocery store timestamp
Caleb gets into the online dating blackpill timestamp
Manlets btfo
This worm is 6 foot 4
Federal Student Loans ($52'939) timestamp
No money currently owed
Govt Agency he works for might pay all of this if he sticks around for 3 years?
State of Texas loan ($13'000) timestamp
Lots of late payments
He had initially thought that the federal deferrment applied to state loans
$208 minimum payment
Private Loans ($31'146) timestmap
Bachelor's in Biochem and "Biophysical sciences"
"I was a bad student and I was lost I didn't know what the frick I wanted to do so I ended up staying in school for like 6 years"
Had to get private loans because he was on academic probation
interned at some labs and didn't like the biomed researcher thing
$376 minimum payment
5.54% interest rate
refinanced form an initial 10% sally may loan
About to a have a $10'000 operation timestamp
Cosmetic surgery
Hair transplant
In-depth discussion of balding prevention
Worm does not want to
How is he going to pay for this? timestamp
- "So I just got approved for an American Express card"
- "So I just got approved for an American Express card"
"I know it doesn't make sense but I'm gonna do it anyways"
things in the pipepline to help him timestamp
- Another teaching job at some higher end uni (110 an hour)
Cosmetic surgery is next week
Spending numbers tiemstamp
Weird $1700 zelle/1400 atm withdrawal
- doesn't know what these were
Show ends early because there's no point in a budget
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Eh, he worked for Coinbase, he can probably con some cryptobros into paying him 250k, 300k. That whole industry is full of bigger rslurs than this guy.
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He was a contractor for coinbase, it's totally different. At my company contractors are explicitly told they are not allowed to say “I worked for ${COMPANY}” on their resume.
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Just put down that you did contract work for that company. What are they gonna do, fire you?
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No that's fine, you can say that you did contract work. You can't list the company as your employer.
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That makes too much sense. Wheres the drama?
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Basically the goal is to enforce the "YOU ARE NOT OUR EMPLOYEE" message. Contractors get cucked out of pretty much every company perk you can imagine because we never want them to think they are a real employee. e.g. we have a huge fun event coming up that's free for all employees and interns to bring their spouse/children, but contractors are not allowed to show up because it might make them uppity. The entire contractor training is basically "frick you, you aren't our employee" over and over again
.
In this guy's case, he was likely getting paid a quarter of what coinbase pays an actual engineer and he would have been stuck doing all the shitty boring work nobody cares about. I've never been a contractor, but it seems super shitty. An intern in their second year of uni likely makes more money and gets all the company perks, while these guys just get shit on constantly.
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Isn't this because of a legal case where contractors were legally argued to be employees since they were invited to an employee party?
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Yeah exactly. Same with all the other perks. Basically contractors tend not to be of the quality we want from a full time SWE (just generalizing) and we have no interest in having them be considered employees.
Contractors in general really want to impress enough to get hired on.
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consultants make bang bucks though
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Not in this industry. Consultants typically make 25-50% of what you'd make as a full time software engineer, and you don't get any of the perks.
There are some exceptions of course, but as a rule life is way better as a full time engineer than as a consultant.
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r u srs?? not here at least I have heard IT consultans earn creazy but maybe ur codecels r just high in the get go
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I would write it down anyways and because let's be honest the HR women are too r-slurred to check anything.
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You really think someone would do that? Go to an NFT convention and tell lies?
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I still remember during the height of crypto fever we were looking into trading on some crypto exchanges.
They were disseminating market data using... JSON payloads over WebSockets. Can't even make this shit up. It was clear that literally zero people working at those exchanges has ever worked in fintech before, just zero clue.
(For all the r-slurs reading this, real exchanges use binary protocols over multicast UDP to disseminate market data.)
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MtGox reimplemented SSH in PHP.
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wow good for u bro sending non-acked packets in a proprietary format over network which is good because...it just is okay!!!
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It's gonna be "proprietary" anyways because you need to write something to process the specific JSON fields they send. The only alternative would be if all the exchanges agreed on a single protocol, but they all offer slightly different features so that'll never happen.
It's not like the various crypto exchanges all use the same protocol, they're all bespoke anyways. Except now they're really high latency and needlessly large, many many times larger than they need to be to convey the same information.
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I guess it makes sense because timing is such a big deal for traders. But choosing a custom binary format over easily readable/maintainable/expandable JSON to save 100 bytes on a request or w/e feels intuitively r-slurred.
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Let me put it this way. A typical options exchange's market data feed is gonna be like 5-10 Gbps, that's with a really compact custom binary format. Not only are these formats small, but they're fast to parse/process, designed so you can basically define a struct in C++ and then just reinterpret_cast<> a pointer to it to read off the fields. Doesn't get much faster than that.
The same data with the r-slurred JSON format would be like 50 Gbps, plus you have to waste time doing stupid shit like parsing ASCII text as integers/floats. Not to mention the insanity of having this data come over TCP, which is an issue for SO many reasons (there's no real multicast TCP, you need to wait for acks, the exchange side is also heavier because it has to wait for you to ack stuff). There's no way to distribute the data to multiple endpoints on your end because it's not a real broadcast because it's point-to-point TCP. The binary formats also have the nice property that you can skip over messages you don't care about because you know their exact length so can just do some pointer math. Can't do that with JSON.
Now exchanges do use TCP... for order/quote entry, purges/cancels, etc. You know, use cases where you're dealing with point-to-point data and reasonably might want verification that the exchange got your orders (although there's a separate acknowledgement message anyways so the TCP acks aren't even required here).
(This is for US markets - which are categorically better than all other electronic trading platforms in the world and it's not even remotely close, all the European exchanges are dogshit in comparison.)
Only someone who thinks trans lives matter would consider this a good solution.
Oh one last note re: easily readable: you can just use a dissector in Wireshark for the exchange protocol, so you can read off any values from packet captures. EZ.
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Thats a really long winded way of saying Uncle Ted was right.
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unironically neat
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Sorry ma'am, looks like his delusions have gotten worse. We'll have to admit him.
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Everything the finance industry does is intuitively rslurred but they usually have their reasons.
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SBF was former Jane Street to be fair
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