Asking for a friend 
[Serious Replies Only] What to do when a cop pulls you over and you're about to poop your pants 
- 20
- 22
Asking for a friend
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Be honest and kind of embarrassed.
Any cop that is pulling you over spends a lot of time in their patrol car, eating shady takeout. They've been in that situation before... So it's kind of humanizing, as long as you're not over-the-top about it.
Just be like, 'Sir I'm really sorry but my stomach is really feeling awful. I really need to find a bathroom ... '.
He is also not going to want to arrest you and deal with cleaning up his car.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Lunge for his service weapon
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
That was the best xkcd comic
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
shit yourself and cry. a fricking cop will want to gtfo like a fricking normal person. otherwise they'll be cleaning up after you and days of paperwork.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
quickly reach for your wallet and present your ID. the faster you get it over with, the faster you'll be home
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
That's Muk not Grimer
wtf carp
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
show me both
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
correcting
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
The flow chart is simple:
Can you hold it in a little longer?
Yes
Then hold it in a little longer
No
Shit your pants
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Putting the
in
spookieturkeymerrynew yeardonkeyJump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
"Officer, I don't believe
you get paid enough 
to clean 
shit off of me and your car"
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Y⭕️u're👊 n🅾w ⭕️ne☝️ 🅾f 3️⃣ 🖖🅿️e🅾🅿️le👨🏿👩🏻👦🏽 ℹ️'ve 🅱l⭕️cked😡❌🚷🚫‼️ 🅾n 🅱eddit👽. ℹ 💁d⭕️n't even Ⓜ️ℹ️nd💅 🅿️e🅾🅿️le 👦🏽👴👵🏼👮🏻 s🅿️er🅱ℹ️ng ⭕️ut😡😤😤 at Ⓜ️e😱, 🅱ut wh🅰t ✋☝️ℹ d🅾 Ⓜ️ℹ️nd👀😤 ℹ️s just the c⭕️Ⓜ️🅿️lete😣 l🅰ck 🅾f re🅰l™💯🕵 🅰r🅱uⓂ️ents.📚
Y⭕️u're 👊👐✋just 🅱🅾rℹ️ng🙄😣.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context