Asking for a friend 
/h/personal
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FITS/SITS
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[Serious Replies Only] What to do when a cop pulls you over and you're about to poop your pants 
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Be honest and kind of embarrassed.
Any cop that is pulling you over spends a lot of time in their patrol car, eating shady takeout. They've been in that situation before... So it's kind of humanizing, as long as you're not over-the-top about it.
Just be like, 'Sir I'm really sorry but my stomach is really feeling awful. I really need to find a bathroom ... '.
He is also not going to want to arrest you and deal with cleaning up his car.
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Lunge for his service weapon
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That was the best xkcd comic
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shit yourself and cry. a fricking cop will want to gtfo like a fricking normal person. otherwise they'll be cleaning up after you and days of paperwork.
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quickly reach for your wallet and present your ID. the faster you get it over with, the faster you'll be home
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That's Muk not Grimer
wtf carp
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show me both
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correcting
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The flow chart is simple:
Can you hold it in a little longer?
Yes
Then hold it in a little longer
No
Shit your pants
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Read what I wrote above. Now picture in your head that I put a /s at the end. Good job sweaty!
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"Officer, I don't believe
you get paid enough 
to clean 
shit off of me and your car"
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Y⭕️u're👊 n🅾w ⭕️ne☝️ 🅾f 3️⃣ 🖖🅿️e🅾🅿️le👨🏿👩🏻👦🏽 ℹ️'ve 🅱l⭕️cked😡❌🚷🚫‼️ 🅾n 🅱eddit👽. ℹ 💁d⭕️n't even Ⓜ️ℹ️nd💅 🅿️e🅾🅿️le 👦🏽👴👵🏼👮🏻 s🅿️er🅱ℹ️ng ⭕️ut😡😤😤 at Ⓜ️e😱, 🅱ut wh🅰t ✋☝️ℹ d🅾 Ⓜ️ℹ️nd👀😤 ℹ️s just the c⭕️Ⓜ️🅿️lete😣 l🅰ck 🅾f re🅰l™💯🕵 🅰r🅱uⓂ️ents.📚
Y⭕️u're 👊👐✋just 🅱🅾rℹ️ng🙄😣.
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