A republican is walking down the street when....

A republican is walking along a street in Washington D.C. and Michelle Obama in a hookers outfit catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks Michelle Obama, "How much do you charge?" She replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job." The republican says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Jesus Christ! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!" Michelle Obama says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well," she continues, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500." Guy says, "What the heck? You only live once. I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel.

A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" Michelle Obama replies, "$1,500." "$1,500? My God! No blow-job could be worth that. A televangelist wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" Mrs. Obama replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see the United States Capitol just across the street? I own that place outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500." The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks Mrs. Obama, "How much for peepeeing me up the arse?" Michelle replies, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Washington D.C is splayed out before us, with the White House right in the center as its crowning jewel? All those beautiful lights, classical architecture, and showpieces displaying our great history?" "Darn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole capitol?

"No," Michelle Obama replies, "but I would if I had a peepee."

2. A whore, a :marseytrain2: , and an r-slur walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says," OH MY GAWD! ALL THE FIRST LADIES GETTING ALONG!"

Penny Frowns in the corner of the room, realizing these people have stolen xir identity.

3. For any of you who say racism in the US isn't a thing, I just want you to remember that in 2003 George Bush couldn't tell the difference between a towelhead from Iraq and an engineer turned terrorist from Saudi Arabia.

@DeforesterCarpathian