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!redscarepod

redscarepod discusses

https://old.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/18s1urh/its_hilarious_how_this_graphic_disproves_the

I've never listened to the podcast but this seems like something fans of it would like

Just wanna wear leggings and eat charcuterie and suck my husbands peepee and get pregnant and never bounce back!!!!

Yes I'm joining Pilates don't worry

!foidmoment

I'm still in shock that this happened. Earlier today my girl and I went grocery shopping for holiday plans. We were in bakery looking at, well stuff to bake with, and I noticed some dude sorta walk by us and looking at her. He's like 6'0ish but fat. He kinda looks like Keemstar but older. I didn't think much of it, lot of girls and dudes who have a girlfriend can relate to her getting stared at by strangers. As long as nothing comes out of it whatever.

We're still at bakery for a bit and I'm looking at donuts like 10 meters away from my girl, when the dude comes up to me and asks, in a surprisingly high pitched voice, if he can talk to me. Yeah I knew something was up the second he came near. He introduced himself and asked how my day was going. After 2 minutes of formalities, he cuts to the chase and showed me a pic of his wife. Idk what to say, she just looked normal but kind of chubbs. He said they're both swingers and asked if I'd ever heard of it.

Uh oh...I knew where this was going. The answer to the inevitable "do you want to swap my wife for your girlfriend who was a teenager less than a year ago" is a no. But, I wanted to see what this guy was about so I entertained him for a bit. A minute he asks the inevitable and I told him heck no, but just out of curiosity I then asked why he does that? Sorta like how you ask a criminal why they decided to do what they did. Apparently he's been doing it for almost 30 years. Basically...he said lot of nothing but threw in "love knows no boundaries", "not happy anymore" and "sometimes it's good to experiment". Yeah sure, when you're single. But like, neither of us are. And also if you're not happy then why are you still married? I also asked how old he was and he said 49. My girl and I are both very visibly in our early 20s.

After about 3 minutes of him rambling, I sorta laughed in his face and just told him to have a nice day. I then go over to her and give her a long embarassing bear hug in front of an old lady who just looked at us and smiled. It just felt so weird having someone talking like that in real life that it made me appreciate what I had. That hug felt nice and reassuring.

Things get spicy in the comments.

He probably only tries it with guys that look like they might be cucks

I'm not trying to sound like I'm sucking my own peepee but I'm 6'3 and 185 lbs and played basketball in college, and planning to compete in bodybuilding. Lol I get the joke but I don't (think) I give that appearance

he didnt say you're fat he said you look like you might be a cuck

I have a single black friend who is a total nerd; a lawyer who likes suits, bowties and fine wine – sweet and innocent guy.

Anyways on the train to work he kept making eye contact with this cute white girl who also rode the same train. After weeks of eye flirting she eventually came up and talked to him. He was excited and wanted to ask her out romantically on a date.

She asks if he would be interested in having s*x in front of her husband who had a black bull cuckold fantasy.

>mfw no qt 3.14 white woman on the train will ever ask me to frick her in front of her husband

why even live

Yeah so was going through a bit of a mental health crisis and they noticed that I had drunk almost the entirety of a litre bottle of whiskey which I had brought home from college. They notice the bottle first,by accident, it was hidden by me. I can mask being drunk quite well.

They confronted me about it, asked if all was okay. I've had mental health issues before so it was a pointed discussion. I said there was but I didn't want to talk about it. They said I didn't have to talk about it with them and in the same breath my Dad procedes to go through a check list of what it might be, to my annoyance.

I'm a bisexual man. I'm confident in this. I also know that when people hear of a bi guy they think ‘a gay guy in waiting' and the fact that my parents are in their late 60s and Irish ‘Culchies' (look it up) I wasn't even sure they would be aware or acknowledge what a bisexual person is.

The pointed questions continue I feel trapped. The moment that's been festering in my frontal cortex for the better part of a decade is finally actualising itself in front of me.

I find myself shooting out the room, despite myself I say ‘I think I'm having a panic attack'

I Shoot upstairs into the bathroom

I've given the game away

I'm conflicted. A part of me wants to tell them. Another wants to retain this secret. Secrets are a rarity for only children. ‘You've debased whatever currency you had in the proud market P' I resign to myself

I say it. Confidently and to the point as I have rehearsed. In a way that they'll understand.

‘Do ye know what bisexual means?' Yes ‘Okay well I'm that… I'm attracted to women but I also happen to be attracted to men'

I'll not go into the various things that were said but the general flavour was one of disappointment but support. I'm very satisfied and wished I had done this far earlier in my life.

However, since last Sunday, there have been statements and insights that confirm why I was reluctant to do so. Statements like,

Well you are probably confused You'll meet the right person (girl) You're afraid of women

I'm glad I didn't do it earlier as I'm sure I would have been convinced out of it at an early age and that would have caused far more trouble.

the biggest surprise of all

came immediately after I had ‘come out', as it were, after rushing back from a quick flight to the bathroom so not as to look at them immediately after saying what I had said, after a pregnant silence, my Dad speaks first

‘Do you remember there was builders here…'

My Father is not the most articulate, ‘and neither are you' some of the more catty dispositions are probably quipping to themselves, and has a penchant for inserting the most inappropriate anecdotes into a discussion. Yet still after processing that statement I have absolutely no frame of reference to what he is about to say. Is this an anecdote?

‘Frank!' Mum says

‘Wait what…' I say

‘There was builders here when you were two.' Dad continues

‘Jesus Frank don't bring that up.'

By now I have gotten the flavour of what they're saying, at least I think I do, and my parents have a terrible habit of giving over just a crumb of information and then coveting the rest for all eternity.

Well, I'm demanding it

Mum takes over after scolding dad for even bringing this up.

‘There was work done on this house when you were two. There was one builder that was very fond of you and he would play with ye and give ye sweets and all. And one day you came crying to us saying he had touched you here (you can infer where, dear reader) … and well I brought it to ‘our family doctor' who said I could bring it further if I wanted… but you were a child and we didn't.. well we didn't…

‘Believe me?' I interject

My mum gives me a look.

‘Yeah'

My Dad's main point after saying all that

‘… well don't let this distract from any of this work you have to get done that's THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! WE CAN'T BE PAYING FOR YOU TO BE DOWN THERE….” and the regular scheduled programming resumes

Well I'll try Dad… thanks

it's straight white men with white collar jobs

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lol this hole almost died !redscarepod it was like 30 minutes from being over

3 or 4 years ago I was walking down 23rd street in Portland with this girl who I had met on bumble. If you don't live in Portland (good for you) 23rd is a good date spot it has all sorts of little trinket stores that women love and expensive restaurants. It's also full of the most annoying style of Portland people because it's among the most expensive areas to live in. One such annoying Portland person was out walking his hog. This was a big butt hairy truffle style hog and he was snorting and making all kinds of pig noises and the guy had the worst haircut I've ever seen.

Anyways we encounter the hog and the hogman and the hog comes up and sniffs us and makes various noises. The girl is all excited and pets the creature and I ask the guy small talk shit (does he find mushrooms, how old is he, that's crazy that he walks man that's so cool you are so cool). Then we head on our way. We get a block away and the girl turns to me and says

“Wow that dog looked really fricked up, I wonder what happened to it.”

lol

later on that date I got sucked off in the trimet bathrooms at the zoo shit was so cash. I'm celibate now though I've had enough of these slings and arrows

me top middle

And he's a deer