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EPL 23/24 Predictions Contest

We are now less than one month away from the start of the new season and as such we can officially stop pretending to care about international football. Last season's winners were a tie between @HetsAreFeds and @Avalon, unfortunately my prediction was way off as Conte turned out to be a bald fraud with a hairpiece. This season will be different though I assure you. 1000 Marseybucks to whoever was closest at end of season.

1. Tottenham (Kane stays, Madison is the long awaited Modric replacement, Son comes back to form, Llorris no longer in net thank god, no europe to worry about can focus 100% on domestic, if the backline gets improved they might even do the double but don't want to get too optimistic)

2. Manchester City (Haaland sophomore slump and probable injury, team in general lacking motivation as they've won everything already)

3. Manchester United (I like ETH. Onana is as good a DDG replacement one could find, they have some really great players, particularly Bruno Fernandes has always impressed me, feel like if they can finally put it all together again they could even win the league this season but for now third feels right.)

4. Liverpool (Fabinho, Firmino, Hendo and possible Thiago exits leave Liverpool midfield in question again, but I believe in Klopp, they'll make some moves and be up there in the thick of it once more.)

5. Arsenal (Declan Rice overrated, the English love to hype up their own. You can find a player like him for 10-30 million in Italy, Spain, Germany etc., Arsenal are a young squad who will be playing with the expectations that last season's 2nd place finish bring, I don't think they live up to them.)

6. Chelsea (Poch contracts HIV after it is revealed his wife has been cucking him for years with a series of POZZED BVLLS, losses his hair, kills himself shortly after getting the sack. Chelsea rebound in time to finish sixth but it is all for not as new FA anti-racism rules forces the club to dissolve shortly after the season ends. Chelsea supporters are round up en masse and executed humanly.)

7-17. Who Cares

18. Sheffield United (Managers last name is Heckingbottom, nah)

19. Bournemouth (why is this still a thing frick off already)

20. Luton Town (kek)

Last seasons predictions can be found here

!football

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zuck looking ripped :marseybuff:
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A Saudi club is trying to sign Jordan Henderson for a mouth watering 700k a week he's an average player on the tail end of his career. The outrage is that he promoted a LGBT inclusive campaign in Rainbow Laces and has been very vocal about the campaign yet has agreed to play in Saudi Arabia. Redditors and Twitter users are bewildered how you could sell out for 700k a week :marseyclueless:

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Extra hit: https://old.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/14ylcq5/the_athletic_liverpool_lgbt_group_appalled_and/

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:marseyburger: lost to a fricking canal

!football

Come laugh at

!burgers

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no dreads allowed

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AD says a 2-week suspension of the coach might have been weak.

Reddit thread regarding "Shrek's List."

This totally true statement from a player that was absolutely in no way involved...

r/Northwestern... Is incredibly boring? Wtf?

/r/BigTen hasn't made a post about it but the subreddit is incredibly small.

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the future first true African champ of the UFC

Just knocked out Robert Whitaker what a fricking monster.

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The speech that single handedly ruined Rice's football season every year since 1962

After this historic JFK speech, Rice went 2-45-1 (wins-losses-ties) against the University of Texas. To the point that after 82 straight years of playing Texas, another devastating loss in 1995 resulted in Rice finally saying uncle and they started asking for years off against them.

The relevant part of the speech is at 8:59, but if you've never watched the whole speech I suggest doing so.

I graduated from Oklahoma (Boomer Sooner b-words!!) so I don't take pleasure in highlighting such a killing that involves Texas coming out on top. However, I'm also a history nerd and felt the need to highlight one of the worst rivalries in US sports history involving a university's football program that was assassinated by an assassinated President. Plus Rice gave UT an easier schedule every year and helped boost their record in the Big 12 so frick 'em.

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Steven Gerrard goes to Saudi Arabia

to the prestigious football club of Al-Ettifaq lol

I wonder what the Saudis are up to trying to bring everyone into their country. Are they trying to force themselves to become a footballing nation or is it just another of those r-slurred Middle East things.

Let's see how Brits are taking the news:

Disappointing and hypocritical of Gerrard. What a joke.


Thank god. Good to see he won’t be darkening any Premier club door for a while. Happy days.


Glad to see his moral compass is in good shape


Take it that his wife and daughters are really looking forward to experiencing the culture??


Idiot!


Careful not to slip on all the oil money out there Stevie


Gone by eid.

and so on :marseyxd:

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16882452144899826.webp :#marseysoycrytremble!:

Nine of the ten First Division soccer clubs that published a support post on Instagram for the rights of the LGTBIQ+ community lost followers. The journ*list David Saura , ex-responsible for Barça's digital content and co-founder of Xerpa Studio together with Toni Ruiz , discovered it and reported on social networks that FC Barcelona is the club most affected in this regard, with 440,000 fewer followers only on Instagram and in barely 48 hours from the publication of a photo with the rainbow flags in the Ciutat Esportiva Joan Gamper . on the occasion of LGTBIQ+ Pride Day.

Barça , with more than 122 million followers on Instagram, went from gaining an average of 30,000 followers per day to losing 306,000 in the first 24 hours after the image. The next day he lost another 134,000 followers.

Of the 10 clubs that supported the LGTBIQ+ collective , only UD Las Palmas  increased the number of followers. In number of followers lost, Valencia, Athletic, Real Sociedad, Osasuna, Getafe, Celta, Mallorca and Alavés were the ones that followed Barça in this order.

Large LaLiga clubs, such as Real Madrid or Atlético de Madrid , did not make any posts on Instagram in support of the LGTBIQ+ collective.

!football

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r/hockey seethe about the NHL Draft

					
					
					
	

				
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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16879017823097842.webp

https://rdrama.net/h/sports/post/162889/dramaslurs-made-premier-league-table-predictions/3979115#context

@gsa

Guess all my predictions weren't so bad huh?

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16877084611745944.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16877084627259731.webp

I don't even know who the mascot in the bowler hat is supposed to be

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16877087248806634.webp

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!football

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https://x.com/Gujjurr/status/1671552235036106753?t=lR4fzGlufhrvZAoXqttgTw&s=19

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16873682220846548.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1687368222194138.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16873682225016766.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16873682229529865.webp

https://x.com/TheSquind/status/1671558369356959744?t=OaKvzt89CgtkuO3SdTS06A&s=19

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16873682232705233.webp

Epic Indian meme

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16873682237393641.webp

https://x.com/Raiku_0111/status/1671554120346632193?t=00ldqWGE7gLwIvLX9N5O6Q&s=19

!bharatiya

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But isn't the Gold Cup next week? What is the difference? What is the point of two North American/Caribbean tournaments back to back?

Umm...obviously to show Amerikkan Supremacy, you back water French and Spanish folk.

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absolutely tarded lmao

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