We are now less than one month away from the start of the new season and as such we can officially stop pretending to care about international football. Last season's winners were a tie between @HetsAreFeds and
@Avalon, unfortunately my prediction was way off as Conte turned out to be a bald fraud with a hairpiece. This season will be different though I assure you. 1000 Marseybucks to whoever was closest at end of season.
1. Tottenham (Kane stays, Madison is the long awaited Modric replacement, Son comes back to form, Llorris no longer in net thank god, no europe to worry about can focus 100% on domestic, if the backline gets improved they might even do the double but don't want to get too optimistic)
2. Manchester City (Haaland sophomore slump and probable injury, team in general lacking motivation as they've won everything already)
3. Manchester United (I like ETH. Onana is as good a DDG replacement one could find, they have some really great players, particularly Bruno Fernandes has always impressed me, feel like if they can finally put it all together again they could even win the league this season but for now third feels right.)
4. Liverpool (Fabinho, Firmino, Hendo and possible Thiago exits leave Liverpool midfield in question again, but I believe in Klopp, they'll make some moves and be up there in the thick of it once more.)
5. Arsenal (Declan Rice overrated, the English love to hype up their own. You can find a player like him for 10-30 million in Italy, Spain, Germany etc., Arsenal are a young squad who will be playing with the expectations that last season's 2nd place finish bring, I don't think they live up to them.)
6. Chelsea (Poch contracts HIV after it is revealed his wife has been cucking him for years with a series of POZZED BVLLS, losses his hair, kills himself shortly after getting the sack. Chelsea rebound in time to finish sixth but it is all for not as new FA anti-racism rules forces the club to dissolve shortly after the season ends. Chelsea supporters are round up en masse and executed humanly.)
7-17. Who Cares
18. Sheffield United (Managers last name is Heckingbottom, nah)
19. Bournemouth (why is this still a thing frick off already)
20. Luton Town (kek)
Last seasons predictions can be found here
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!football !bongs
I have arrived in Engerland to watch Tottenham SCORE SOME FUKEN GOALS
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I hope it rains during your game so you get the authentic experience
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Enjoy, I'm jealous. I haven't haven't been to the new ground but my friends who have say it's amazing.
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They spent enough
to make it the NFL venue in the UK
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=Z8WWLrt8AWw%3Fsi%3DGdn5MEnqMRD2io23
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Does wilshire even play anymore?
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No he retired, he coaches the Arsenal U18s now.
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Not playing for a few. Arsenal 18 coach last i heard.
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!football !britbongs
Officially traveling to UK for first ever live Spurs match, very excited. Will be spending a week on the island any bongs have recommendations for what to visit for a first timer?
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nice! i hope the weather's good for you when you go there because it was so gloomy everyday when I went to the extent that finally seeing sun in Paris felt like emancipation or something lol
literally
in bongland, even watched a game in the rain at Old Trafford
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Thats football heritage
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ETH out yet?
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nice comeback from your team today tho
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Yea was fun, wasn't trying to taunt you I've nothing against United, just crazy you guys are still doing this same story we've seen like 5 times since Fergie left.
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i had a feeling after the equaliser
no feel at all watching united today lol. on the bright side Reguilon was good today
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I'd recommend going to Bath for a day. Properly beautiful place that honestly just feels like a really large village rather than a city (in a good way). Lmk if you need specific recommendations, since I've spent a fair bit of time there over the years
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https://www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/london-dogging-most-popular-locations-15454993
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I hope it ends 0-0
Most fitting end to Spurs-Poch love story
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I chose Chelsea so I can boo him
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I'll never forget how my Chelsea supporting friend flew all the way there to watch them lose 3-0 at home to Bournemouth
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Are you thinking of getting out of London for a few days?
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Yes I really don't like cities they make me anxious I want to take a train to Scotland countryside I think.
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You'll only be a couple of hours on the train from the Peak District and the Yorkshire Dales which also have great walks. I have to plug the Northumberland coast too, Newcastle falls into the category of "not big or busy enough to be scary".
Edinburgh is also surprisingly quiet and small-feeling for a major city, but you'd want to keep going north a bit to get to the classic middle of nowhere walks around the Highlands.
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Eddie Howe officially recommends avoiding downtown Newcastle.
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Only after midnight and if you're drunk. It's too easy for a tipsy footballer to get into a fight.
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Oh and shout if you want to come to Newcastle, my wife and I will take you for a nice coast walk one weekend (assuming you're not like a 13 year old boy visiting with his family)
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Get out of London after you've done the normal tourist stuff (although go to the British museum it's fantastic).
If you can go visit the Lake District. Its my favourite place on the planet.
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Isn’t their new manager
maybe you’ll see him around down undah
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He'll be back in aus in the winter when levy fires him, as is spurs tradition
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!football
They hated me because I spoke the truth (ignore arsenal bottlejob soon)
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I still maintain Liverpool and City will be the top 2 come the end of the season. I've definitely underestimated Spurs and massively overestimated United though
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I still think City will win the title but Spurs should be able to get top 5 barring an end-of-season collapse
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I'd be very surprised if the top 4 isn't City, Arsenal, Liverpool and Tottenham in some order. I don't think Spurs have great depth compared to the other but they shouldn't need it this season with no Europe
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Now that they've thrown the Bongish anchor off from around their necks there's no stopping them!
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That said shambolic Onana prediction.
EDIT: Onana... I KNEEL.
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Now that game week one is over I'd say
1. Chelsea (unimaginable hopium going on here but I unironically feel hopeful for a high finish - realistically I should be putting them 3rd but I believe).
2. Arsenal (I expect total gunnery collapse. I don't think they've shaken off last season's end-of-year collapse mentally and as much as I love him I have no real confidence in Havertz even in his "correct" position. Rice will be their only saving grace IMO).
3. Newcastle (I think they'll continue with and improve last season's form - They'll hiccup due to Europe however, especially around Christmas).
4. City (I think they'll choke this season - an oft-repeated story vis-a-vis City but I don't regard them as being strengthened and while Haaland is a robot he's not a god.)
5 . Tottenham (This is highly contingent on a lot but if within the next 15 days Levy decides to bless Ange with any sort of attacking talent he'll cook as the urban youth say today. If not disregard this and I expect Spurs to be 6th.)
6. United (if the plan this season is truly going to be a Mount - Bruno midfield it's unironically over. I still hold Mount isn't a midfielder he's a forward and that showed this match just played. ten Hag might be able to beat him into shape but I have little belief of that. If he can or United find another solution then swap them with Spurs IMO).
7. Brighton (l regard them as a better Everton tbh. I might be surprised but nothing tells me they've gotten much stronger over the summer).
8. Liverpool (this is mostly just to make the top an even number. They need a DM obviously but they need a CB too. The part of the game we dominated was the part where we prevented pass to Salah and Inishallah and that can't be Pool's hope for this entire season. If they get what they need drop everyone from Tottenham down by 1. If they only get a papering of the cracks then only drop Brighton down 1. I actually almost forgot them and put West Ham here. Mea culpa).
9th - 16th. Dunno
17. Everton (will still circle the drain this season coming ever closer).
18. Nottingham Forest (The Everton sacrifice for this season)
19. Luton (I'm expecting a burst into form post-January once they figure out the lay of the league that won't be enough to save them).
19. Sheffield United (last).
!football Transfer window closes in 16/17 days so prediction may still be withheld but GW1 is over as well so make yours.
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Also,
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I still believe!!!
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Some people are able to display their intelligence by going on at length on a subject and never actually saying anything. This ability is most common in trades such as politics, public relations, and law. You have impressed me by being able to best them all, while still coming off as an absolute idiot.
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!football Tottenham Hotspur 2023/2024 EPL Champions confirmed.
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There is no world where Mount is an 8 as I've said before.
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Maddison so clear of mount daylight robbery from Chelsea
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1. Man City
2. Arsenal
3. Liverpool
4. Man United
5. Chelsea
6. Newcastle
7. Spurs
8. Brighton
9. Villa
10. West Ham
11. Brentford
12. Fulham
13. Everton
14. Palace
15. Wolves
16. Forest
17. Burnley
18. Bournemouth
19. Sheffield United
20. Luton
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1. Liverpool
2. Man City
3. Arsenal
4. Newcastle
5. Man United
6. Aston Villa
7. Tottenham
8. Brighton
9. Chelsea
10. Brentford
11. Crystal Palace
12. Fulham
13. Nottingham Forest
14. West Ham
15. Bournemouth
16. Burnley
17. Everton
18. Sheffield United
19. Wolves
20. Luton
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1. Manchester City
2. Arsenal
3. Liverpool
4. Manchester United
5. Newcastle United
6. Aston Villa
7. Chelsea
8. Tottenham Hotspur
9. Brighton
10. West Ham United
11. Crystal Palace
12. Brentford
13. Fulham
14. Wolverhampton Wanderers
15. Burnley
16. Everton
17. Nottingham Forest
18. Sheffield United
19. Bournemouth
20. Luton Town
——
Aston Villa wins ECL, Manchester City makes history, but they do NOT win the FA Cup, while Arsenal wins the FA cup.
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The last time you posted that marsey at a prediction, Newcastle finished 4th
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Once is not a pattern, nor is it a guarantee of breaking into top six perennial contender ranks, as a Leicester supporter you should know that better than most.
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Newcastle have been in top 4 form since Howe took over. It's been a season and a half now, and we're strengthening this summer. CL will tire us out, but I'm hoping we can stay competitive.
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Big difference between an oil club like Newcastle, who will inevitably make it a big 7, and Leicester who never had a chance to consistently break the big 6 monopoly and getting fricked over hard due to the pandemic and a lack of money.
Aston Villa is my crazy wildcard prediction of the season
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Yes but these things still take time. When City got oil money they went out and bought the likes of Tevez , Berbatov, Robinho etc. for crazy fees and it still took 4 or so years before they were firmly top 4. Newcastle doesn’t seem to be taking that approach, either from FFP or a different philosophy it looks like they want to buy promising youngsters and develop them without fear of getting poached any longer. In five years sure Newcastle could be part of big six but I still think it’s too early to say. Howe is a great manager tho.
Villa has never impressed me and I expect a regression to lower mid table.
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!football
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Like Fulham might be in deep shit if they sell either Palhinha or Mitro, and don't strengthen on wings. Too much uncertainty for now.
Only team I'm somewhat confident in is Liverpool not doing too well, One Cute butch, Matip and Fabinho all look past it and Gomez is a joke. One good CB with no CDM's and Trent at RB is nightmare fuel defensively - we'll see who they'll get in but they already spent over 100m. Should make for entertaining matches though.
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I know it’s a little early I just like talking about football.
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1. Real Manchester.
2. Real Newcastle.
3-20. Fungible peasants and manual laborers.
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