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Girl asks to open relationship, boyfriend of 7 years turns her into the side chick

https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/15xrpt2/i_am_so_jealous_of_my_boyfriends_girlfriend

								

								

I am so jealous of my boyfriend's girlfriend.

My partner and I of seven years decided to be in an open relationship about a year ago. He stated he didn't want poly but really just s*x and fun connections and what not. Well he met someone and now he spends half his time with her. They go away for days at a time, I am forced to Google schedule time together otherwise he fills up his time with her, I don't feel like a priority. He says I am and I expressed that they are spending too much time together but it has seemed to fall on deaf ears. He had told me time and again if it came down to it he would chose me. While I didn't give him an ultimatum he told me a couple days ago that he won't break up with her and that if I cannot handle this new change in the relationship then essentially it will end. I am absolutely gutted. I feel like this is the beginning of the end. He said if at any point we need to shut it down we could but now he has changed his mind. He spends time with her family and goes away on little trips and runs when she calls crying and I feel like this is going to tear me apart. He is a good man but all I think now is that he is choosing someone else. If I don't put up with this then it's over. He knows I am upset and I can't help it. I feel like my anxiety and sadness over this will push him into her arms and home will not be a place he wants to be anymore. I feel like he bait and switched me and now I'm sharing the love of my life 50/50 without a choice. Less than that because our of the 50 percent he is at home, his work and friends and other life stuff needs to be addressed. It was my idea to open the relationship and I feel like I am losing him and I feel like I will lose him.

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8 months ago OP posted about trying frick a prof at her uni and saying she has a student prof fantasy :marseyhmm: but she also has a bf of 7 years. Lets assume she is 24 that would shes been dating this man since 17 yet also has a super kinky ex.

https://old.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/zliwiq/should_i_write_him_a_goodbye_letter

archuive

Okay, hear me out. Last winter on my way into work, I kept walking past this man. At first we didn't acknowledge each other, then we make eye contact, followed by smiles, hellos, how are yours and then conversations, sometimes he would sit down with me during my lunch for a quick conversation. I believe there was flirting, I was flirting (maybe I am terrible and too subtle?), nevertheless I was flirting. I felt something, is it insane to think that he may have too? May rolls around, he leaves for the summer. But not before we follow each other on Instagram. A brief message goodbye and we don't see or speak to each other until November. We run into each other. Then he messages me in Instagram. We chat. I go to his office, we continue to flirt. I'm sly but desperately wanting him to make a move. We chat again (he messages me), we flirt. I think?

Okay, a few mor details. He is married and a professor. I am a student and work on campus. As such, I am awaiting his gentle (he strikes me as that type of person) rejection. Now, sometimes when I am given unpleasant information I forget to say things and I don't want to leave anything unsaid. If I write down what I want to say letter-style and when he inevitably lets me down, I just give him my note (letter may be too intense?), and I wish him well, is that insane?

So is writing a note ridiculous? And if the answer is no, then is actually giving it to him ridiculous?

Please be kind with me.

UPDATE: FEB 8/2023– He said it was all in my head and he was never attracted to me. So I suppose it's a good thing I didn't write that letter.

UPDATE: APRIL 26/2023- Him and his wife broke up. He asked me out for drinks…is anyone even listening anymore. 😂


https://old.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/zliwiq/should_i_write_him_a_goodbye_letter/j05ntda

He is sticking his neck out. I suppose I wanted him to know when he ends things that I get it and I don't want to become a source of unhappiness in his life and we both graciously move on.

That's fair. Don't make yourself out to be some enlightened being though, you're definitely hoping he low key wants to risk it with you lool

Uhh yeah. The student professor fantasy is hot to me.

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