@haggis's comment on 'You haven't seen true foid brain until you have seen this'

https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen

First story

Do y'all have a weird, off-putting thing that gives you dopamine

>In a conversation with my therapist, I joked about the unhinged thing I was doing to cope with my existence. I have a blown glass snake statue that contains some of the ashes of my brother. We usually put a Santa hat on him around Christmas, but at the pet store the other day I saw that they were selling small animal costumes!

>So me I immediately buy a lobster costume, go home, and dress up my snake brother in the costume. My husband looks up and sees it and I'm like "brothers name is a lobster" like it's common sense and I'm not losing my mind.

>And I send a picture to my mom and she's like "this seems like a good topic for your therapist" 💀

>Jokes on her, because my therapist said that as far as ways I can be forced cramming dopamine into my system, this is probably one of the safer, if not slightly unhinged routes and it has her full approval lmfao. She's tasked me with crocheting more outfits for him since it's my current craft hyperfixation.

Second story

Wtf even is this?

https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/17882rf/i_got_tired_of_going_through_the_child_proof_pill

Third story:

Suck at veggies & nutrition in general? Life Hack Alert!

>Maybe I'm late to the party but I saw these for the first time at my grocery store & it was like a light bulb went off. They taste great too! I particularly suck at lunch which results in being so hungry that dinner is gross, so then I binge on junk all evening. Sure its just apple sauce with carrots but it's got more nutrients than 1/2 a bag or doritos & a few handfuls of shredded cheese!

Fourth and Final Story (Extreme WordsX3 Post)

I've started asking men with ADHD at what age they were diagnosed..

...and the answers have made me EXTREMELY bitter.

All of them casually said between the ages of ~~5-10. The age of 7 was the most common answer from male friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. The oldest age I received was 12 years old.~~

However, with women? The most common ages I've heard from those I've personally talked to are mid-20's to 30's. If you google it, most women are diagnosed with ADHD in their late 30's to early 40's.

The youngest age I've ever heard of a woman being diagnosed with ADHD is 15 years old, and that would be me. However, I still believe I was diagnosed incredibly late.

My mom told me she sought psychiatric care for me when I was as young as 3-5 years old. She even told the worker she suspected I had ADHD. Kudos to my mom for recognizing what took the psychiatric system more than a decade to determine. But, unsurprisingly, they didn't take her seriously.

I began receiving regular psychiatric care at the age of 7. I'm bitter as heck, because I was the textbook definition of a child with ADHD. Yet, it took them 8 years to even consider the diagnosis and test me for it. Funnily enough, they first diagnosed me with ADD. After 2 weeks, they changed their minds, I don't know why. How typical isn't it for women to receive an ADD diagnosis instead of ADHD?

During that time, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was on countless of medications, antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, the list goes on. When I look back at my teenage years, all I remember is misary. I was deeply unhappy, and I truly believed that life was just not meant for someone like me.

I asked my psychologist for the medical records from the time I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and couldn't help but laugh at the notes.

"Patient is showing symptoms of hypomania: can't sit still, talks excessively, jumps from topic to topic, and has trouble staying focused during the appointment." Hmm, I wonder what a more reasonable explanation for that might be?

Although I was diagnosed at 15, I don't feel I was given enough information about ADHD. I didn't understand ADHD affected so many aspects of my life. I believed having ADHD simply meant I struggled to focus in school, and that there must be something else that's "wrong" with me.

I began taking Concerta at 21. At the same time, I started researching ADHD. Learning everything about the condition, combined with the medication, changed my life.

Now, I'm in a good place. I can manage my ADHD, I'm happy, and I no longer feel lost. Yet, the bitterness remains. I'm resentful that the system let me down. I can't help but wonder what my life would've looked like if I had been a young boy attending those countless psychologist appointments, instead of a young girl.

Every time I see a young woman struggling as I did, I'm filled with rage. Born in 2000, I should've been part of the generation where the system finally took women and girls with neuropsychiatric disorders seriously. But I continue to see the same pattern, and it breaks my fricking heart.

"The reason for the gender gap in ADHD is due to a lack of research on women and girls with ADHD." THEN START THE DARN RESEARCH! How many women and girls with ADHD need to fail in school, struggle to hold jobs, and find daily life unbearable before the issue is taken seriously?

I remember scrolling through the comments on a Reddit post where a man argued that women are more privileged than men. One reason he cited was that men are significantly more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than women.

I wanted to scream.

Neglect by the system is not a privilege. Dismissal is not a privilege. Underdiagnosis due to inadequate research on women and ADHD IS NOT A PRIVILEGE.

Men aren't more likely to have ADHD, men are more likely to be diagnosed with it.

I hate that I get so angry when I meet men with ADHD, because I haven't met a single one who has the amount of knowledge of the diagnosis that women with ADHD have. Because women NEED to be their own advocates. We didn't have the privilege of being taken seriously. We've had to become our own experts, doing the work the psychiatric care should have.

I hope to see a day when girls and women with ADHD are treated equitably. If I have a daughter with ADHD, I wish I will be able to trust the system without fearing they'll dismiss her needs as they wouldn't do if she was my son.

For change to happen, we need to talk about it. Not just among us, but our male ADHD allies need to speak up aswell. This issue should spark as much outrage as ADHD medication shortages, yet it rarely sees discussion outside of female ADHD forums.

Lastly, I'm grateful for all of you, compassionate, strong, loving, and incredible women and girls with ADHD. Watching you thrive after having to fight so hard for you to get to that place really warms my heart.

Seeing you all support each other gives me hope. I'm so happy that women and girls with ADHD have a space where they can be seen, heard, and understood, after being dismissed and ignored for so long. Thank you, all of you.

EDIT: Guys, please stop giving examples of men in your life who have been mistreated by the system and follow that up with "If that makes you feel better". Because no, that doesn't make me feel better.

Pointing out that ADHD is frequently misdiagnosed and underdiagnosed in women compared to men is not about comparing individual experiences. It's about addressing a systemic issue. I don't take pleasure in anyone being misdiagnosed or mistreated, and it's genuinely hurtful that so many of you think I would.