Fatty's friend tells her she's too picky, but her criteria isn't what you might think!

Just kidding, it's exactly the same as we've come to expect:

TL;DR I cut off a friend after he said that my standards for dating are too high in comparison to how I look. Basically looking for opinions on A) Am I being too harsh by cutting him off after years of friendship? He claimed he was just “looking out for me” and being honest. B) Should I seriously consider losing weight to become more conventionally attractive if I want to be treated well by a nice self sufficient man, even though I personally like the way I look?

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I'll start by saying that even though I'm fat (5'10 240 lbs), I genuinely do really like the way I look. I do acknowledge that a lot of men treat fat women worse than they would treat more conventionally attractive women, but I am still hopeful I'd be able to find my person without any major changes to my appearance.

I haven't had the best luck with dating. Never had issues finding dates but they typically were not good quality people. It used to really upset me when men would treat me poorly, so I decided to stop all romantic and sexual interactions until I mastered the art of genuinely loving my own company. The goal was to enjoy being by myself so much that I would only want to entertain relationships that unequivocally enhanced my quality of life. I've gone 3 years of no romantic/sexual contact - way longer than I was expecting this phase of my life to be! - and it's been an amazing experience, I've never been happier. In June, a friend told me he really wanted to take me on a date and I suddenly decided it's time for me to be open to dating again. Here have been my experiences since then:

1. A friend told me he was interested in me, asked me on a date. Fantastic match but found out he really valued having a family on our second date, I'm child free and do not want kids. Let him know I'd rather stick to being friends shortly after

2. Approached me while I was reading in a park and asked for my number. Really nice guy, definitely wasn't over his ex (mentioned her a few times on first date, talked about her a lot on third date)

3. Struck up a conversation with me while we crossed paths on a hike, exchanged instagrams, I found out he's a waiter that lives in his parent's basement so I was no longer interested

Last week I was at a bar with friends (4 girls, 6 guys, + me) and someone asked about my dating life, I shared the stories above and then said “all I want is a man who's nice, funny, is ok with not having kids, loves nature and animals, won't cheat on me, and brings home at least 70% of my income, why does that seem so impossible to find” (probably relevant to the story, 70% of my income is still in the 6 figure range) One of our friends, we'll call him Dylan, was drunk. He burst out laughing and said “that's a long list!”. Another friend (29F, petite) replied with “that sounds like the bare minimum”, he said that it may be the bare minimum for her but it won't be for me. After some prodding, Dylan says “as a friend he needs to be honest” and said that guys who have all the qualities I'm looking for will be with hotter women. He then said that I'm the “entire package and more, but men don't care about what's on the inside of the package until they like how it's wrapped”. Before I really had a chance to take it in and respond, the rest of the friend group all were saying Dylan is an butthole for thinking that way. This caused 2 guys in the group to back Dylan up, one said that men are just more visual than women and any guy making close to my salary would choose a girl that looks like a model. An argument ensued in the friend group but I stayed quiet. Dylan and the other guy backpedaled a bit when they realized how upset everyone was at their comments, eventually Dylan said I'm beautiful but most men are pigs and he's just looking out for me. He's tried apologizing through text but I have not spoken to him or the other 2 guys who stood up for him. I'm much closer with Dylan than the other 2, so they don't really matter for this story.

Because of how bad my luck has been with dating in the past, part of me is thinking that Dylan may be partially right and I'm being too hard on him. Regardless of how good I feel about myself, maybe the type of men I'm looking for just don't want to be with a fat girl… so now I'm here, asking for Reddits opinion. Be brutally honest. I would rather hear your honest opinion over anything else.