That foid is way too repetitive.

This reminds me of my buddy who didn't know that ham was pork. Bro thought there were wild hams running around

Despite working on family farms my whole life and growing up around cows, I was like 35 before I learned an ox was just a cow with a job.

Well technically, it is highly advisable to wash the lemon before you eat it.

I had a moment like this years ago. I was working and saw ducks flying off into the distance.

"I swear I just seen ducks fly"

..."ducks can fly though"

"What, no they can't, can they?"

"Yes, didn't you know that? How did you think they travel?"

"I dunno, I just assumed they waddled between ponds"

why are you making me look at a fat woman

This has to be ironic that 28 for reference was hilarious

Engagement bait/poor joke attempt

Fake and straight

I love diarrhea

Yes that is right, I love to have diarrhea. One of my favorite things to do is take a laxative on weekends when I have absolute nothing to do and I know I'll be at the house all day. Sometimes when I can't wait the 8 hours a laxative will take I'll do a salt water flush and I'll be peeing out my butthole in 30 minutes. I've even found for me that 100% grapefruit juice will do the trick if I drink half a gallon in a day. There are so many aspects of it that make it one of the best experiences.

The first aspect I love is the rush. Just going about my business and then all of a sudden I know I might poop my pants. That it is time to get on a potty right now and nothing else matters. It's an adrenaline rush when the stomach starts to gurgle and you know you can't stop what's about to happen. That I am totally at the mercy of my bowels.

The second is simply the feeling. I love the feeling of relief I get in my stomach, the feeling of it rushing out of my butt hole, and it is one of those good burn feelings in the butt hole too. I love that fiery butt hole burn. Then when you go to wipe it's kind of like you are scratching that ultimate itch. To put it simply from start to finish the feeling of diarrhea has multiple aspects that all feel good and all of them have their special place in my heart.

The third aspect I love is the smell. It's like when you have a good fart and it stinks really bad and you kind of sniff it in and you are like dang, I just did that. The smell of diarrhea is like I just opened a sewer line right in my potty and I love it. It's just a great scent to sit there and enjoy for a minute. A nasty type of good that makes you feel a little dirty.

The fourth aspect would have to be looking at what came out. Just standing to wipe and looking at what once used to be a perfectly clean potty is now black. Just black water with black spatter all around the bowl of the potty. I love to stand there for a second and look at it and say “dang look at all that bad stuff I just expelled from my body.” That's a great feeling looking at it and knowing how you've just purged your body.

To put it simply, I highly recommend diarrhea.

Edit: For those who have commented and are concerned about my health. I should of clarified this isn't an every day thing. This is a once every month or two type of deal. I work a lot and have a busy home life and am by all means what you would consider a normal person lol. This is like something I will do when I actually have a day to rest and relax from my busy life because it feels good to me and is an enjoyable experience. A de-stresser if you will.

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What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's peepee