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I have lived my whole life in my head

It's the ONLY thing that has kept me alive for so long. All I do 24/7 is pretend I'm not living in a reality but I'm living in my head. If I DIDN'T daydream and create a fantasy world in my head I'd have committed suicide long ago. I feel so helpless and like I've never really been alive. I feel like a living corpse. I feel like I don't exist at all.

I literally imagine myself living in another world all the time; where I'm pretty, funny, and people care about me. The guy I love loves me back. I'm a completely different person living a completely different life that's NOT even comparable to this heck I'm living in. I made a whole story and about 'myself' and I even talk to the characters that I've created in my imaginary world, at first, I didn't mind it. It was making me feel better, making me happier than I had ever been, but now I'm very concerned. Every second of my life, I wish I lived that life and I find myself stuck in my room crying and talking to myself.

I swear I'm so fricking worthless as an ugly woman. I just want to die as soon as possible. I don't even want to be pretty anymore. I hate waking up every day feeling empty. It is literally making me sick every morning I wake up. Living is just a reminder of what I don't and what I will never have. God I just want to die.

Dramatards, how many of you is this?

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She's a genuine Bovarysme

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bovarysme

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In Japan they call it middle school syndrome :marseyxd:

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this is why the ideal gf has apanthasia with no internal monologue

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I love imagining a world where I'm pretty. That's why every surface in my home is a mirror :marseywholesome:

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