Sorry, Popular Kids: The Nerds are the Kinky Ones

I never knew this was her comic, but she's great! I'm going to only post the watermarked version from here on out.

One of my most popular cartoons (which had the watermark removed by some butthole at some point- not sure who- but luckily my “art” style is bad and distinctive enough that everyone still knows I made it) depicts a phenomenon that I've long believed to be true: the nerds are having better s*x than the cool kids:

I noticed this back when I was on Reddit. Reliably, you can go to /r/s*x for “questions” that are actually thinly-veiled brags by people who, in my estimation, recently realized that they are able to have s*x and are extremely excited about it.

I lost my virginity at fifteen. Not endorsing this, by the way, in hindsight I think it was a bad experience that was psychologically damaging, but anyway…I was very proud of it. I knew that most girls my age had not had s*x, and I felt that being a non-virgin made me special. I mean, I had suddenly entered a club that included both Hillary Clinton and Britney Spears. What could be more exciting? I would regale my virgin friends with pseudo “concerns” like “Hey guys, after having s*x do you ever feel like your legs kind of ache? Oh, just me? Weird!”

/r/S*x is a bit like this. Every day someone will post something like “Is it normal that I LOVE going down on my girlfriend more than I enjoy penetrative s*x?” or “My boyfriend made me c*m 15 times yesterday…is this normal? Should I go to the ER?” At first I found it irritating, but then I realized I don't even subscribe to that subreddit and never did, I was going there specifically to read these posts for whatever reason, and ultimately it was easy to ignore them if I found them tiresome.

But it got me thinking.

Reddit is for nerds (generally.) These nerds are posting about a lot of wacky s*x they're having. It's easy to dismiss these stories as fake (and I'm sure some of them are, I would know a thing or two about fake Reddit posts) but I also think a decent amount of them are real. Because there is nothing about being a nerd that makes you less sexual. Liking dungeons and dragons does not make you impotent. Being an annoying girl who wears cat ears and talks like an anime character doesn't cause vaginal dryness. The nerds are having s*x.

This seems incomprehensible to some because nerds are typically late bloomers. You don't see a lot of nerds losing their virginities before the age of 18, and I would argue many of them don't until college or later. I remember playing a game of “never have I ever” with some nerds in college, wondering why all the prompts were “never have I ever been to Minnesota” or “never have I ever seen a Komodo dragon in person” and it dawning on me that everyone playing the game was a virgin (perhaps even a third base virgin), despite being over the age of twenty...

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A very very very online 30-something mom and fashion enthusiast. Former Reddit troll who earned a total IP ban.

@CartoonsHateHer if you're already a poster here, say hello and I'll give you tons of DC and awards.