There's another post on the front page about a trans woman destroying the motel room of her date after he found out that she was trans. I'd like to have an informed discussion itt about it.
First, I would like to consider the question -- When should you disclose? There's no obvious answer, but it should probably be before you get to the bedroom. It's difficult because it can be hard to find a good time, and if you're drunk and just OK'ing thru dialogue you can end up pretty far before you realize that you should probably disclose. Also, when I'm drunk I'm not thinking about things like that, it's more of "oh he's cute" and then trying to flirt with him. I'm just trying to be happy and be social rather than worry about disclosing that im trans. Being trans takes a backseat to the warm and fuzzy feeling that drunkenly talking to cute guys provides.
Then there's the "wE cAn AlWaUs TeLl". Chuds always say this, but it's just straight-up wrong. Consider -- if this statement was true, you shouldn't have to disclose, because the guy already knows! But in reality, if you don't say something super explicit like "I'm trans and I have a peepee" there will STILL be men who think you're cis and get surprised down the line.
Finally, I'd like to address the fact that trans people don't like the fact they are trans. The only thing a trans girl ever wanted was to be just a girl, and as such whenever a guy is being flirty there's this dark temptation to go along without disclosing in order to appease that inner desire. The weak-willed will readily cave to such desires. I wish that people would understand that being trans is just part of the vast diversity of the human experience, and to not be mad or surprised when you find out that someone is trans. But that isn't the world that we live in (at least for now). Our curse is that we may taste the fruit, but never dare swallow it.
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Serious question? OK, I'll bite.
I'm mildly faceblind which means I sometimes have difficulty recognizing the differences between similar looking people. I rely on supporting information like voice and mannerisms to distinguish between very similar-looking people.
Of course, usually I can tell the difference between a trans-woman and a real woman immediately, because let's face it, most of these neofoids don't exactly do a great job of passing. They can tell themselves "skirt go spinny!" all they want but even to me, the vast majority of them register as grotesque. There are exceptions, but they're rare. I expect that as medical science improves it'll get harder and harder to clock trains and people like me will be the first ones impacted due to our lower facial recognition skill.
Personally I'd rather trans people disclose themselves immediately. I don't want to have s*x with them, I don't want to date them, and (given the high frequency of mental illness and narcissism that many of them have) I'm even kind of on the fence about being friends with them. I know not all trans people are like this and I've met a few who are cool - but someday in the future I hope to become a right-wing demagogue so unless you're one of the few trans people who can get onboard with my ideology (like Keffals or Blair White, for example) I don't want to be seen out in public with you.
I think that a trans person who doesn't disclose is effectively committing r*pe and if it can be proven that they didn't disclose their trans status, they should be formally charged with r*pe in a court of law. (Yes, I recognize that it would be hard to prove, at least under the current technolegal paradigm.) When exactly they disclose is up to them as long as they do it before sleeping with someone. Personally my preference would be if they did it before the date so guys like me don't waste our time and effort on somebody we're not interested in. But I don't think that it should be mandatory or anything: it's just the considerate thing to do if you don't want the other person to be pissed off at you.
Anyway, that's my answer: sorry for the essaypost
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No apologies, you're a good contributor imo.
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