There's another post on the front page about a trans woman destroying the motel room of her date after he found out that she was trans. I'd like to have an informed discussion itt about it.
First, I would like to consider the question -- When should you disclose? There's no obvious answer, but it should probably be before you get to the bedroom. It's difficult because it can be hard to find a good time, and if you're drunk and just OK'ing thru dialogue you can end up pretty far before you realize that you should probably disclose. Also, when I'm drunk I'm not thinking about things like that, it's more of "oh he's cute" and then trying to flirt with him. I'm just trying to be happy and be social rather than worry about disclosing that im trans. Being trans takes a backseat to the warm and fuzzy feeling that drunkenly talking to cute guys provides.
Then there's the "wE cAn AlWaUs TeLl". Chuds always say this, but it's just straight-up wrong. Consider -- if this statement was true, you shouldn't have to disclose, because the guy already knows! But in reality, if you don't say something super explicit like "I'm trans and I have a peepee" there will STILL be men who think you're cis and get surprised down the line.
Finally, I'd like to address the fact that trans people don't like the fact they are trans. The only thing a trans girl ever wanted was to be just a girl, and as such whenever a guy is being flirty there's this dark temptation to go along without disclosing in order to appease that inner desire. The weak-willed will readily cave to such desires. I wish that people would understand that being trans is just part of the vast diversity of the human experience, and to not be mad or surprised when you find out that someone is trans. But that isn't the world that we live in (at least for now). Our curse is that we may taste the fruit, but never dare swallow it.
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Consent is important so not down with this
!nonchuds
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For me, being trans is just a fact like how the street that I grew up on is just a fact. In a just world*, I shouldn't need to disclose my transsexuality, just like I shouldn't need to disclose the street I grew up on. If I'm indistinguishable from a cis woman (post-op) then why should it truly matter what I was born as?
*We do not live in a just world.
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This might be the most selfish comment i've seen from a train. You are not ready for any type of a relationship. Go fix yourself.
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Because most straight dudes don't want to frick you, and have a right to know you are trans before fricking you.
Yeah it sucks for you, but thats life dog, you don't get to stealth neighbors, just like I don't get to lie about wearing a rubber
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Well, that explains your confusion. You're simply being immoral while wanting straight men to be cute twinks.
Your talk about acceptance is conveniently one-sided.
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Post-op trans women are women, chud. It's not gay to frick one when you can't even tell she's trans lol
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if you fully pass and are (somehow) completely functional post op why call yourself a transwoman at that point? Can't you just say youre a woman everytime if no one can tell? I thought that was the goal
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because
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They know and they play along with it because they are closeted gays
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If someone's primary attraction to you was based on the street he thought you grew up on, you'd have a responsibility not to lie about that or play into that mistaken belief.
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Except that a woman's chromosomes are not what make her attractive. If a man is attracted to a post-op trans woman who passes as cis, why should he care for her chromosomes? It is in fact an irrational aversion to such, which is also known as a phobia.
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Straight men want females, not just people that look like females.
You can't word game your way into other people's sexual attraction.
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No, this is where you're wrong.
A woman's chromosomes are literally what make her attractive.
Her body, face, all the physical markers of attractiveness are signposts to the chromosomes.
You're trying to fake all the markers because you want to lie about having the chromosomes.
But what matters is actually having the chromosomes.
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I wouldn't date any woman that couldn't have kids.
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People are allowed to be irrational in the realm of their preferences.
What do you make of someone that wouldn't date anyone shorter than them?
This person might be unfair to manlets but they are not advocating for their right to vote to be removed; they are just choosing not to associate with short people romantically.
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They might not be, but I am. Absolutely insane that we live in a world where
rides have more stringent requirements than civic participation.
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Don't worry, the requirements for civic participation are rising. You might not make the cut, though.
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I'm too tall for the non-seated crossbar rollercoasters in Asia it's actually awful
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Kind of hard to lie about your height tho
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This neighbor never heard about shoe lifts smh
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It's not about what is attractive, but about what is reproductive and a woman in the eyes of God. Thinking from a pleasure/consent-morality prespective to approximate the thoughts of a reproduction-maxxing ideology follower (e.g. Abrahamic religions) doesn't work.
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!slots950
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This will never be true, but that's ok. You just need to come to terms with it.
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In your “ideal world”, the hypothetical you're referring to relies on the trans woman looking indistinguishable from a cis woman. That will never be the case for the vast majority of trans people. Even the Twitter trains posting selfies that you think “pass” are either - trolls posting photos of cis women to frick with ppl, incredibly wealthy trains who have had the time and money to have the best surgical, hormonal, and voice treatments AND have posted themselves in the most flattering light and angle (notice how rarely it's an unfiltered video from multiple angles), or someone who transitioned when they were eight and will eventually develop more masculine traits as they hit middle age and stop being a twink. For the vast majority of trains none of these are applicable.
For proof, have a look at trans people who have comfortably huge incomes. Caitlin Jenner had access to unlimited wealth for treatments, the ability to disappear for a year or more while she received treatments and not need to work, and the best stylists and make up artists. She still doesn't pass.
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In a just world, straight men would still not like peepee, and you'd still be hiding that for your own benefit.
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Because a large chunk of the population (including myself) believe God will condemn them as a homosexual, should they fornicate with a trans woman. Hence the term "trap" - a passing trans woman is perceived as an attempt at tricking a man into being a homosexual, "trapping" them.
Like it or not, it is what it is.
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You need to learn that Transwomen are more than just vagina havers or you will never get over your internalized bigotry and flagrant disregard for trans rights.
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I got stealthed by a postop girl once. She didn't tell me until I'd left. I was cool about it but I was like darn this b-word probably has a hate crime fetish.
She was completely indistinguishable from a real foid to the point where I still wonder if she may have been a biofoid fishing for attention.
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I've heard stories like this. Some girl hooked up with a guy and then after they did their business he got paranoid and drove her to CVS and watched her take Plan B. She was worried because she was trans and didnt know what the Plan B was going to do cuz she wasn't cis (so she didnt want to take it).
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She'd have been fine, possibly slightly ill.
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i always thought the thing was no self lubrication so thats how you know
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I saw a guy say it's the shallowness of the pelvis that's another giveaway.
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i was sucking this guy's peepee the other day and right in the middle she tells me she's trans
i couldn't believe it
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You should have murdered her
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Hi bb havent seen you around missed you
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I appreciate you
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Disclose immediately because people really can always tell, and the guys pretending they can't tell are doing so because they want to frick a trans woman but they're fricking weird about it and more likely to get violent when you reveal they have been "tricked". Disclosing scares them off and keeps you safe.
Like 100% of the black guys who murder black trans s*x workers obviously knew, the s*x workers are not subtle. They are horny for trans bussy but also full of shame, so they get violent after they nut and get post-nut clarity and then they start looking for a way to "reclaim" their masculinity with murder. Disclose and guys like that lose the plausible deniability they crave.
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Its not a crime to s*x a trans person if you are unaware of it at the time.
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This but unironically. These guys want to be able to go "oh man the dude totally tricked me though!" if their friends find out, because they can't admit they're hot for peepee.
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I nailed a postop girl who I'm still not sure wasn't actually just a biofoid lying for attention. You just can't always tell. She didn't tell me until afterwards. Some bitches just love hate crime I guess.
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You'd be able to tell from the lack of natural lubrication gaybo
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My peepee is absolutely massive, every girl I've ever been with has asked for lube. Sorry
, but I guess you save on lube.
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Sorry
you've never 
aroused 
a woman 
before 
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Why would I care if she was aroused?
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Exactly, gay
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wake up babe new emoji just dropped
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what did
mean by this? 
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I think trans womxn shouldn't have to disclose if their date can't
(doesn't apply to you tho) but you really want to be isolated with some potentially violent scrote when he finds out you have a penus?
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Pray tell why not?
No, and it's a bad decision not to disclose. But for the reasons explained in the post, it's tempting to not disclose.
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you were already clocked on a ghost thread silly
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Sandy, she's sweaty, not silly. Use her proper appellation.
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People who can't tell are dumb or are neurodivergent. Having s*x with dumb or neurodivergent people and also not disclosing is very rude, and also dumb or neurodivergent people are more likely to be violent. Real chicken and egg scenario
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A gentlemanly fistfight is a classic way for two blokes too settle their differences.
Trans lives matter about 59% of the time.
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You'll get CTE. Real men duel or nothing.
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I understand it'd be hard for trans women and they'd maybe feel it demeaning to have to but honestly they always should.
Stopping situations like the one you mentioned being a good reason why.
Also just being an honest forward and genuine person being another reason why.
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I seem to have lost a thread, or maybe it just got deleted, but I thought it was in this topic.
Someone was complaining about how this free interesting speech site has a trans zone that they chose to enter and engage with and how this meant rdrama was 'over' and it was already time to move on, and I just wanted to say: that was the most reddit comment I have seen here.
Good topic queen
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Anybody who is mad about >muh reddit just doesn't like the fact that they can't fling shit at trans girls anymore. I let comments which I would deem "problematic" stay as long as they are somewhat thought-out and earnest. Hole jannies can't remove comments or temp exile people; the only recourse we have is to exile them and mark their comment NSFW. (We would have to manually let them back in later which is a lot to keep track of)
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Aevann maybe some more toys to play with, for that 50k?
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Yeah well, too bad.
Moral failure is a terrible way to excuse this.
Straight men don't want to frick your kind, so stick with bi's and chasers which would be easier if there wasn't that whole moral failure part going on.
But it's cute to see you guilt-trip straggots into being more accepting of peepee because of your 0.2% diversity argument. It's a great way to waste their time while ignoring the consequences of your decisions.
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lmao seething at trans
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I appreciate you don't pull punches but I think this is a misread if your takeaway is that TB excuses non-disclosure. Maybe I'm reading too much into what would constitute a “just world” though. I figured whatever it was it'd be distinct enough to not have its sensibilities apply here, like… idk, different popular understandings of sexuality being widely adopted.
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IDK how you can't clock a
I've seen a number due to uni and general work and even those who "pass" can still be discerned by the face shape, hairline and neck appearance. Usually they have the manly neck where it goes in, idk what it's called but its this shit 
or they look generally unattractive.
I've seen probably one passing
who was a jap with exceptional luck in face shape.
ftms pass slightly more though in that I can tell they don't want to be women, usually. One in uni would wear really exposing clothing, at one point it was this "dress" that covered the body but you could see the underwear.
Honestly though behavior is the top way to clock. A
is clocked from how soft they act, apologetic and usually meek even when trying to act tough. A 
in how overly "feminine" some of them will act that's uncanny or from how much they still just act like normal dudes. Not even close to the way a normal chick trying to act like a bro would act
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Unless they go to an absolutely incredible surgeon and spend a ton of money, there's just a part of all of us that can instinctually tell. I actually got baited into a bumble date with one who clearly did all that and the second they walked into the bar I clocked it lol, it was so fricking akward. Now, I'm zooming in on every foids face in their pics before I go on a date because they're on the apps and they mostly are not disclosing
It's almost like, as animals, it's important for us to easily discern between the sexes for reproduction.
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editing photos is very easy, not even just
s do it normal chicks do to which is why I don't use apps. Well that and how all girls on the apps are usually horrible quality discard girls
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I want to know first thing before you even say hello at the bar or I'm gonna beat you and it's your fault
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Well, that's not very nice.
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Wrong.
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Wouldn't that imply that you pass first?
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I pass
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is that so. Post hands
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It ends that social situation of passing, and that sucks.
Do you think it is broadly possible for people who are attracted to trans women, to consider them women?
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No they consider trans women a third thing, you are a mythical dong siren in the coomers mind.
I can empathize with trans women who don't want to disclose because it shatters that dynamic immediately, still have to do it obviously but I can empathize that it sucks.
I think the real answer is to accept that you are in fact a trans women, and that its different it just is, but its better than living as a man right?
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Greu is an AFAB (?) "non-binary", lol.
Yes. If someone is specifically attracted to "Trans Women" as a category, they perceive them as an Other to "regular" women in their minds. This othering is what alienates Transes from chasers.
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Trans women are an other, they would be happier if they could accept that IMO
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Serious question? OK, I'll bite.
I'm mildly faceblind which means I sometimes have difficulty recognizing the differences between similar looking people. I rely on supporting information like voice and mannerisms to distinguish between very similar-looking people.
Of course, usually I can tell the difference between a trans-woman and a real woman immediately, because let's face it, most of these neofoids don't exactly do a great job of passing. They can tell themselves "skirt go spinny!" all they want but even to me, the vast majority of them register as grotesque. There are exceptions, but they're rare. I expect that as medical science improves it'll get harder and harder to clock trains and people like me will be the first ones impacted due to our lower facial recognition skill.
Personally I'd rather trans people disclose themselves immediately. I don't want to have s*x with them, I don't want to date them, and (given the high frequency of mental illness and narcissism that many of them have) I'm even kind of on the fence about being friends with them. I know not all trans people are like this and I've met a few who are cool - but someday in the future I hope to become a right-wing demagogue so unless you're one of the few trans people who can get onboard with my ideology (like Keffals or Blair White, for example) I don't want to be seen out in public with you.
I think that a trans person who doesn't disclose is effectively committing r*pe and if it can be proven that they didn't disclose their trans status, they should be formally charged with r*pe in a court of law. (Yes, I recognize that it would be hard to prove, at least under the current technolegal paradigm.) When exactly they disclose is up to them as long as they do it before sleeping with someone. Personally my preference would be if they did it before the date so guys like me don't waste our time and effort on somebody we're not interested in. But I don't think that it should be mandatory or anything: it's just the considerate thing to do if you don't want the other person to be pissed off at you.
Anyway, that's my answer: sorry for the essaypost
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No apologies, you're a good contributor imo.
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Maybe buy a little trans flag pin and always wear it?
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Before you meet. With the advent of picture filters and smoothing apps, you can get away him not knowing digitally. But once he sees you in person and your words come out your mouth, he will know. Don't let it be a surprise.
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I agree with this.
Not being up front about being a train falls into the same category as fat girls doing ridiculous picture angles on dating apps.
Yeah, most people can probably tell, but they're doing that shit to play games. Save everyone the hassle and just be honest.
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Can this please be the one Internet forum where I don't have to read this shit
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have you tried closing your eyes?
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I'm so happy in the Congotransbitch 1yr ago #5409717 spent 0 currency on pingsJump in the discussion.
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...when has rDrama not been
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BIPOC rDrama is as fascinated with transgender folk as it gets
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Could say we're
Trans fixed
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I've always thought that the easiest answer to this issue is "don't be a sandbagger"
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A what
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https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/sandbagger
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