firstly, i must state that this is a totally serious post. i know you all will poke fun and whatever, but like i ACTUALLY NEED HELP. its not bait, but i dont really care what you think as long as you help me out
so first of all, i have never had anal s*x. some guy put his pp up there once and it hurt so much (even with copious lube) that i had him take it out immediately. (so i had a peepee up my butt for 5 seconds max). i have known for a while that i have had a tight bussy for a while. i have had previous incidents where the waste has become lodged in the exit, and a recent one where it was so fat that it actually tore my sphincter a bit. it has seem that god has cursed (blessed?) me with a tight bussy.
confession time: i have not shit since the aforementioned steak dinner. on Friday. for 4 whole days, a massive shit has been clogging my rectum. due to the injured sphincter, i have been wary to shit too hard because i dont want to damage it. (there was a previous, very bloody incident where this happened). but i may have crossed the point of no return. i push and nothing comes out, and if i push any harder my butthole starts to widen, then it gets stuck, and i cant force it out. i'm clogged.
i tried to troubleshoot by getting an enema thingy and squirting some water up there. i did that, and guess what -- that shit came out CLEAR. DESPITE the fact my rectum was filled to the brim with shit, my waste was so compacted that what was coming out was fresh spring water filtered from out of a mountain of calcified shit rocks. iswtg that shit was drinkable and probably taste better than Dasani
i went in for round 2 and 3, on round 3 i actually made some progress and the water was murky. i could feel a few pieces of shit falling out here and there in the stream, like little gold nuggets in a river.
but then the stream was blocked. the large mass -- the same as the one i was trying to battle -- was pulled by the current into blocking the exit. despite 3 enemas, i was still clogged. i was only able to drain the enema by not pushing so hard and letting the water flow out around it. i felt like one of those ramune drinks with the marble in it. this has allieved enough pressure for now, but i worry for tomorrow, when i will in all likelyhood have to deal with this thing again. i would really appreciate any advice, i totally thought that the enema would have worked (one of my friends suggested it).
some of you, like @BrasilIguana or
@X, may have noticed that i stopped replying for about an hour. thats because i spent that hour on the potty. im not making this up, i would really appreciate some help here.
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All the other advice deals with future prevention and offers nothing for the immediate problem at hand.
In order to evacuate the poop from your rectum, I recommend doing another enema but this time, don't expel the water. Let it soften the blockage for a while.
This might mean you use less water, but that's fine. It might also require a few cycles but eventually the warmth of your body and the water will soften the poo and you'll be able to poo it out.
I've been in this situation before and the key is not to panic. Eventually your body will sort something out but the enema approach will make it hurt less.
Another thing you could potentially do is some kegel exercises to sharpen the blunt end of the poo into a point, making for an easier exit. Kegels, sit-ups, go for a run, then enema.
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