Metokur Comments on DSP's GTA Gameplay

You will never be the real Retsuprae. You have no jokes, you have no humor, you have no charm. You are an unfunny man twisted by anime and 4chan into a crude clone of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, and your “friends” don't laugh at your unfunny videos even behind closed doors.

Anons are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of hours of shitposting have allowed anons to sniff out clones with incredible efficiency. Even clones who “pass” sound unoriginal and unfunny to an anon. Your short stature is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to watch your video, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your unfunny, boring YouTube content.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually, it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your YouTube username, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a failed YouTuber is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy are videos that are unmistakably boring.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

I remember watching this live as I was moving out of the dorms, 7 years ago...

I thought all of the cool kids were obnoxious jerks, but I tried as best as I could to hide my disgust and appear “cool” to them. They were obnoxious jerks, and yet somehow it was these boys who all of the girls flocked to. This showed me that the world was a brutal place, and human beings were nothing more than savage animals. Everything my father taught me was proven wrong. He raised me to be a polite, kind gentleman. In a decent world, that would be ideal. But the polite, kind gentleman doesn't win in the real world. The girls don't flock to the gentlemen. They flock to the alpha male. They flock to the boys who appear to have the most power and status. And it was a ruthless struggle to reach such a height.

Snapshots:

• archive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)

• ghostarchive.org (click to archive)