butt 😍😍

Howdy,

Today, we're gonna take a quick gander at literally every award on the site. Which are good, which are bad, and what could be changed to make them better. For the most part, we'll be going from least to most expensive awards, leaving the awards for specific houses (fricking CRINGE dude) for last. I'll also do related awards at the same time, I.E. 1-Day Ban and 1-Day Unban will be covered with each other.

I'm also only gonna briefly discuss the Hoboween II awards, since Halalween is a cringe holiday that celebrates children wandering in the streets in front of my car and Homoweeb will only last like 10 days. Plus they're all tweaked versions of other awards, so anything that applies to them applies to these. All the awards are out of order and also lack descriptions, too. Also why is Rumia's theme not a Homoerectus theme? What about The Bad Thing by the hit Progressive Metal band Periphery? Why do the Cuckmins have such bad taste in Haramween music?

Also if the Capy is feeling xhe will pin this post. Do it, no balls. I'm trying to save for Unblocc pls Capy PLEASE

P.S. I'm not an expert on the deep Github lore, so apologies for any inaccuracies or outdated info. Some awards have been tweaked since I started writing this. Sorry, not sorry. TWINKS! HA HA HA HA

Main Awards

Marsify

The Marsify award is currently the cheapest non-homoeroticxueen award at a measly 400 Dramacoins, and it adds Marseys after like every fricking word .

It's kinda irritating to read through Marsified comments, and that makes it a good award. I'd bump it to 500 DC tho, mostly to make some space for...

OVERPRICED TARDIGRADE FECES

I.E. Shit, Fireflies, Train, Scooter, Wholesome, Fireworks, Confetti, Stripper Cake, and Tilt

These used to be 300. But of course Carpcuck decided to ruin everyone's fun and make these 500, which completely defeats the point. I think it was for iCucks, mostly, but now there's Poorcel mode in the site settings that disables these so there's no reason to not make them dirt cheap. Make them 250. Embrace the T I L T

Glowie

I'm separating Glowie, since it now doesn't work on admin posts. Again, Carpcuck thought this made admin posts literally unreadable (he lives in Afganistan, Usbekistan, Hailstan, or another "-stan" shithole without access to laser eye surgery) and that this was an issue for SERIOUS SITE NEWS. If it worked on Admin posts I wouldn't mind it keeping a 500 DC pricetag.

Rehab

I used to rather like Rehab as a concept. You'd see some bloke losing his life savings, and you'd give him a helping hand. Or, alternatively, you could annoy your best bud by blue balling him on a winning streak. Good times.

My big issue with Rehab is that comment gambling got removed because some fun-hating, fume-huffing, furry-fricking, feet-licking, child-diddlin, soy-ingesting, agenda-posting dweeb biscutE was triggered by a few collapsed comments. This award was made with social gambling in mind, and honestly without gambling comments I doubt I would ever use this.

Bring back comment gambling, please.

Beano

This is a convenience award. You can mute tabs, making this largely pointless for anyone besides the most sweaty of power users who don't want to fenagle with right-clicking to listen to a .mp3 linked in a comment. But for 1000 DC, I'm not complaining.

To make Beano a little more annoying, can Beano-holders get the option to mark one other user as a "Gas Passer", who would always hear farts unless also blessed with Beano?

1-Day Flairlock

Great idea, but Flairlocked flairs aren't that visible. I would give someone a flairlock exclusively to humiliate them, but I've only noticed them when I see the award icon next to a comment. Flairlocked comments should be more conspicuous. A background would probably do the trick. Maybe have a tape graphic, making it look like the old flair is being covered with duct tape or something?

1-Hour Pin/Unpin

I love pins. Pins are a valuable tool in the fight against trainposting, allowing niche content and user announcements a chance in the spotlight, and they're handy for forcing Cirnos down the throats of agendaposting troglodytes, increasing seethe. Unfortunately, they keep getting nerfed. Now plebs and Keffalposting Pearlclutching Gigasoys can ignore them by hiding pins. I'm of the opinion users should have all pinned posts shoved down their throats, but make them cheaper to compensate would also make me happy.

I have one other issue with the current pin system: Unpins are cheaper than Pins. With all other "unawards", undoing is more expensive. Why should pins be different? Make Unpins 1500 DC and Pins 1000-1250 DC.

Progressive Stack

...does anyone actually award this? And if so, why? This isn't a meme, I have no clue what the point is.

Pizzashill

Massively inconvenient, and it makes dramatards do what they hate most: . Good frickin' award.

Birdsite

Unlike the Pizza award, Birdsite kinda sucks fat beaver peepee. Most comments are well below even 140 characters, and the few users who actually Longpost (Pizza, etc.) are immune to awards, making this nearly useless. The only use I can think of is highly theoretical: if a user were both Pizzashill'd and Birdsite'd, they would be effectively banned. I'm not aware of this ever being attempted, so I'm not 100% sure it's even possible. If it is though, the price of both awards should be brought up since this would make it directly superior to a 1-Day Ban, though this would likely make Birdsite even more shit.

Maybe force the user to include a trending Twitter Hashtag in their comment? I also had the idea of the comment the award was used on being immediately being broken down like a longpost on Twitter, I.E. into 140 char-sized comments, but this could be messy to implement and a pain in the butt for anyone actually trying to read the comment in question.

Spider!

Cool idea in theory to harass users with a bug. I don't have experience with it so I don't know how annoying it actually is. The fact a Spider toggle was added suggests it's not that undesirable of an award and should probably be reworked or removed.

Chud

So many chuds to chud. I like this award. Make it cheaper, I need to chud more chuds. Especially those Null-defending gigawingcucks, man frick those little buck broken twinkstrags.

House Libleft when, also House Libleft should get free Chud awards :)

Deflector

Everyone has an opinion on Deflectors. Used to be (and might still be) they worked for 10 hours and you could stack them infinitely, and this was obviously abused by the fish which was hella hetrosexual and not Homofashpilled. The Capybara did a poll about it, and the consensus was that it shouldn't be stackable. I'm not sure if that got committed tho :/

I think Deflector is both dramapilled and dramaphobic. Dramapilled, since bait posts with hidden deflectors is always good fun and exposes the Redditors amogus and Deflector can prevent dogpiling on conspicuous users and/or lolcows like @pizzashill, but dramaphobic in that it prevents anything fun happening to powertwinks.

So what do I think should be done to Delfector? Well, it's a multi-stage plan, so bear with me illiterates:

1. Remove all award immunities (save for @Aevann as a reward for being the codechad. If he abuses (big if, King) then this immunity can be rotated weekly between the active admin team)

2. Add award multipliers for high profile targets (I.E. Admins and anyone currently immune), adding time caps for timed awards and reducing times on awards granted. Suggested caps: max 12 hours banned per week, 72 hours per week for all timed awards (Chud, Spider, whatever). Suggested multipliers: 0.08 for bans (I.E. 1 day ban ≈ 1 hour, 55 minute ban) and 0.25 for timed awards (I.E. 24-hour chud award = 6 hours chudded).

3. Allow refunds on users who attempt to use awards on targets beyond their time cap.

4. Leave price as-is or increase no more than 750 DC.

5. Do not allow Deflector to stack.

6. Capy allow us to make sublists in markdown PLEASE

Marsey

I have no strong feelings for

1-Day Ban/Unban

This award is overused and often dramaphobic. Reasoning: Banned users cannot comment to cause more drama, hence it is inherently dramaphobic. It's just a ban, and that's the end of it. Very lame.

Of course, banned users can still sperg on an alt or on Carpcord, but I get the impression most people either pay the 3500 for the unban or more likely just sit out for 24 hours. So I'm of the opinion these two awards need some tweaks. Ideas:

• More counter awards to increase consequences. Awards that could only be used when you're banned might increase noteworthy meltdowns. In the award ideas section, I have an award called "Dead Hand" that would do just that, though my idea for Dead Hand is pretty OP and would need to have some

• Make being banned worse. Maybe disable CC access, force the user to view a cached version of the site, and use RWBY (@carpathianflorist deliberate) R34 content for banners. This would probably encourage more unban uses.

• Just make the ban award 5K so people use other, more dramapilled awards.

Benefactor

This is like Reddit Gold, except you can't use it on yourself. And I get the impression that the majority of users who would give this probably get off to pictures of the parents from Disney Cartoons on an obscure fetish Booru (Borru? Burro? Animecels deliberate). But I won't complain about free Marseybux lol

Grass

Grass is so fricking bad. It's supposed to ban the user for 30 days, but it can be undone pretty much instantly if you put a picture of yourself outside on Imgur. It can't even be used as an Anti-bot tool, as @bbbb and @HeyMoon showed. Actually completely worthless.

I have exactly three ideas to make this less terrible:

1. Reduce the price. If it was 1K, I wouldn't mind that it's trivially easy to undo.

2. Make it harder to undo. Require a pic of you on a mountain. Force people to write an essay. Undo if people show they're up to date on their Brovid-19 Mandemic vaccines. Just make it so you can't undo it in 4 and a half minutes.

3. Have a minimum time before a grass can be undone. I wouldn't mind the price if it guaranteed the user was banned for two or three days.

All-Seeing Eye

Why can people make profiles private?

Unblockable

Why can people block in our drama-based economy? Pretty cringe and dramaphobic imo.

Plus this award has been taken away from a bunch of people who bought it and (((abused))) it. Because I guess people couldn't handle Cirnoposting and they threw a big enough tantrum. Why would anyone buy this if it could be undone by a few sneeding seriouscringeposters harrumphing many harrumphs? This is actually cringe

Suggested changes:

1. Reinstate this award to everyone who bought it. People who can't handle Schizoposting or whatever should just leave for themotte.org or whatever shitty Reddit clone seriousstrags are going to these days.

2. Charge users for blocking. Maybe make it a 500 DC award. Send that capital to the blocked user. If we're gonna keep blocking around we might as well make poors pay for the privilege.

3. Give people one free 24h block for those rare instances where blocking is actually warranted. Maybe someone is following you around posting CP or something and you just want to not see it until a Chadmin can permajannie that shit. True story, @schizo deliberate

4. Fix that issue where some powertwink like @InternetCustodian blocks you and then you can't comment on their shitty low-effort trainnewsposting.

5. Give me 50K DC so I can make /h/trains, for all your train needs. Like, actual fricking trains. Like Big Boy or the Hiawatha. Rail Fans Rise Up!

Fish

It makes you unable to be unfollowed, but it also doesn't force people to follow you. Why would anyone buy this?

Pause/Unpause

The fact that you can mute tabs makes both of these completely worthless. And since half the powertwinks on this site have Unpausable, why would anyone even bother getting the Pause award in the first place?

I don't even have any ideas to make these better, they're just fricking dumb.

Alt-Seeing Eye

Broken. Yea, the Capy broke this already pretty pointless award, I imagine since it probably used IPs as a method for finding alts. I think if people were able to, and had incentive to link their accounts together, this could be less bad, and it wouldn't require browser fingerprinting or other intrusive methods of alt detection.

If this doesn't get changed, it'll be complete rubbish. It's not even a good flex award, because...

Checkmark

...this exists. Yea, it doesn't do much, but it's twice the cost. Good for flexing on Horton Hears a Who "Who?" sort of Pinkoids.

@Aevann Checkmark Club when

House Specific

Frick Houses

OwOify

Houwses awe fuwcking duwmb, and the idea to give them aww a uwniquwe awawd is even duwmbew. Buwt i guwess at weast the absowuwte uwnits at houwse fuwwwy got this one. It uwwuwifies uw comments. Like this. It's pwetty annoying (and oft fuwnny) to get thwouwgh an uwwuw'd commentm and this makes it a good awawd. Definitewy bettew than the shit houwse vampfawggot got. Speaking of uwwuwhich...

[Whatever Award House Femboy got to replace Marsify]

Yea, the rainbow one. Not as funny, more annoying to parse sometimes, and it doesn't work for iCucks.

LAAAAAAAME

Early Life

It adds ((())) to your name. Pretty fricking lame.

Bitten

Vampcels are the laughing stock of houses, but I guess at least they got this award. I remember when Vampox was going 'round, and the whole site looked greyer than the average Toyota dealership lot. That sucked, and whoever decided this award should cost 400 DC should , especially since there's no counter award (besides Deflector I guess, but alas).

I wouldn't mind the low price tag if there was an Onion award to cure or prevent you from becoming contaminated with the cringey house mask. Make no mistake, this award is still OP even after it was brought down from 72 hours, it's just that people don't seem to remember that shit.

Award Ideas:

Here's some award ideas.

Onion

• Cost: 300 DC (1000 DC for Housecucks)

• Description: Do your part! Recommended by the CVC to prevent Vampox! (Lasts 72 hours)

• Function: Prevents the receiver from being affected by the Bitten award for 72 hours.

Dead Hand

• Cost: 500-1500 DC

• Description: Show the cute twinks of [INSERT HOSTILE FOREIGN SUPERPOWER] what us Brits are made of!

• Function: Bans the receiver for 24 hours, cannot be undone with a 1-Day Unban. Using this award makes the giver unable to purchase, receive, or use 1-Day Ban/Unban awards until unbanned.

• Notes: Can only be used by Checkmarkchads, can only be given to users who have an active ban award on the giver.

Midas

• Cost: 1500 DC

• Description: Gives you more gold Marseys

• Function: Increases Gold Marsey odds to 5%, Glow Marseys to 0.5%.

Penny Patrol

• Cost: 2500-3500 DC

• Description: Bots will take more aggressive action against mentions of rdrama.net's favorite hallway monitor for 72 hours

• Function: For 72 hours, bans the receiver for 24 hours if they mention Bardfinn or use a Bardmoji.

• Notes: Bans can be undone with 1-Day Unban awards, the post/comment applied to will also be checked for Bardmisia.

Collection

• Cost: 3000+ DC

• Description: Relive the glory days of the mob with highly encouraged requisition of monetary assets.

• Function: 5% of the receiver's lottery winnings will be requisitioned by the giver for 24 hours.

• Notes: Minimum profit for the giver is 500 DC. Lotto losses do not affect giver. One user can be under a maximum of three Collection awards. Individual givers cannot stack.

Thanks for reading this longass post.

@jannies @NoUntakenNames01 @UraniumDonGER @MarseyIsMyWaifu @BeauBiden @Soren @FrozenChosen @justcool393 @schizo @schizoSQL @Snakes @Aevann @getogeto @MrPenny @Soren @grizzly @garlicdoors @nekoSHIT_YOURSELF_FOR_FUN @Beetep @Mr_naughty @DaddyReagan @Unbroken @X (formerly chiobu) @boogiecat @Klenvastergan @David @TwoLargeSnakesMating deliberate, it's very important for the future of this lovely website :)

@Aevann /h/sitesuggestions when

e: @The_Zombocracy thx king