[ACTUAL DRAMA] Catty b-word makes a dramatic exit over who brings a pasta salad to a party. Redditards tell her she's NTA, but she continues to be a dramatic catty b-word in the comments anyway

Actual drama here! She bitches about being asked to bring something to a party, writes an essay about it, and then spends the ENTIRE comment section bitching about her friends

OP:

>My friend Mel likes to throw parties/get togethers. She does potluck style everyone brings something to pass. Then she takes care if the main dish.

>Her parties have honestly become something I go to out of obligation more than for fun because I end up more annoyed than anything.

Typically a few weeks or a month ahead Mel will make an event on social media and ask women to bring a dish and "men can if they want ". Then she wants us (women) to let her know what dish we're making so there's no doubles.

I usually try to make something, porcupine bread, or some side dish. If my boyfriend comes with I make 2 dishes because I don't want us to be one of those couples that just bring one thing and he doesn't cook.

There's this friend of Mel's, Claire. She brings the simplest things every time. Store bought pasta salad, precut fruit, a cheese and cracker tray. Which whatever I don't care about that. Thing that bugs me is she always asks for leftovers and takes TONS. Including of stuff I brought. Like if I made 2 things of porcupine bread and one was still in Mel's oven (to keep warm) untouched, she just gives it to Claire. Maybe I'd like to take food I made home? Not just give it to someone? Since it's leftover shouldn't that be my choice?

Then there's this dude "Mark" he doesn't bring anything and he acts like he's doing everyone a favor for eating their food he's an opinionated jerk. He always critiques food, it's annoying. Then he has 3-4 plate fulls.

So Mel is having a party she created the event and I said I'd go (outside of these dumb events I have fun with Mel). Then today she posted asking what women would bring, I wanted to be petty because I'm sick of putting in effort when Claire and Mark don't and get more food, so I said I'd make a pasta salad. Claire jumped on and said "Mel I wanted to bring Pasta salad".

Mel messaged me and asked me to bring something else and named some previous more effort/exspensive dishes I've made. I said no. I said "how come Claire always gets to bring pasta salad?" She said because she doesn't know how to cook. I said "fine I'll bring cut fruit ". She asked why I was being like this and I said that I was sick of putting in effort to cook and other people that bring nothing or low effort stuff getting majority including my leftovers. And my food being constantly critiqued by someone that brings nothing. She said these things are about getting together with friends and sharing food not keeping score.

I said "fine then I won't come".

I guess Mel talked to two of our friends that go to these things and they said I'm being immature and petty and it should be about seeing friends more than who brings and takes what.

My thing is I'm sick of putting time, money, and energy into cooking something and having my food reviewed by a jerk and given away to someone I don't really like. These events aren't even fun since only 3 people I'm friends with are there.

AITA for un-RSVPing

She's such a huge b-word she can't understand that her friend listed off some of her better dishes because she liked them

NTA, if it was really just about getting together then your offer to bring a fruit tray should have been acceptable. Why can't men bring food? Gross.

(OP) "Because most of the guys don't cook and they're usually with their girlfriends anyway " Mels words

Yeah but Claire doesn’t cook and she can bring her shit, so why can’t the men? That is illogical lol.

I don't even think it's that Claire can't cook I think she's too lazy. She's lazy about a lot of stuff.

‘Sorry, I’m busy.’ NTA. How rude and annoying.

(OP) Psh I've tried. Once I actually had to work. Her response was "well I'm telling you enough ahead of time you can ask off".

She thinks her potlucks are important enough for you to ask off from work???

(OP) That was for a stupid White Elephant or cookie exchange around Christmas, I was invited to both and went to neither. I figured if people acted like that with a potluck how would they act when they're supposed to bring cookies or a gift.

I know with the cookie exchange a few people just brought store bought or cut and bake ones (like from a tube not with a cookie cutter).

And White Elephant someone brought a 8x10 picture of themselves.

That's fine if it's a group of friends and EVERYONE is friends and it just a fun thing. It's a group of people that just know each other because of Mel though. If I had gotten that picture I would have thrown it in the garbage right there. I told Mel that and she said "it was funny", sure if you're friends but why would someone want a picture of someone they just happen to know.

I'm glad I went to neither.

Yeah, you tell 'em, girl! Ditch your friends and be lonely because you can't cook for like 5 minutes jesus christ get ahold of yourself

NTA. If it doesn't matter who brings what why are they bitching at you for bringing fruit?

(OP) Because I know how to cook.

Apparently not!

Are you the only one who is putting in the effort? What about the two friends of yours that are saying you're petty? What kind of things do they bring?

(OP) No other people bring homemade stuff. My 2 friends, well one works in a restaurant and brings stuff from work (like a pan of pasta or a big salad) the other one usually brings desserts like cupcakes or something.

This woman is really writing essays over having to bring snack food to a party

She's still answering comments, too