Babe wake-up, (not actually) new anti mayo slur just dropped
Terms to Know
Haole - Translates to "sharkbait" and is a term used by native Hawaiians to describe mayos. Doesn't have to be degeratory but it can be
PoA (People of Aloha) - Any native/local Hawaiian
Anuhea the lolcow
Meet Anuhea Nihipali, our star lolcow of the thread. Anuehea is a native born Person of Aloha (PoA) who has amassed a following of over half a million on her tiktok due to her social activism and her "comedy". You may actually recognize her from this infamous tiktok:
. Her online career alone could be it's own effortpost, but to keep things short here's a summary of some of her defining characteristics:
Being a foid that is constantly posting lewds, and then going onto complaing about being sexualized
She is a part of the LGBT. With her pronouns being they/them, and being a bisexual
Neurodivergent to the point where she doesn't understand sarcasm
Terminally online
Social justice activist and leftist(?)
Person of Aloha
Now I want you to keep the last two points in the back of your head because those are going to be the most important aspects from here on out.
Blood and Sand Nationalism
In a previous post I made, I linked to drama revolving around what I have termed "Tiki nationalists". Tiki nationalists are often younger native Hawaiians who have adopted a "blood and sand" ideology in which they believe that the haoles unjustly stole and annexed Hawaii from them and that their native population has a blood right to their own land free of outside invaders (mostly haoles). Hhhmm I wonder where I've heard that before?
A majority of the seethe that comes from tiki nationalists arises from the mere existence of the haoles. Tiki nationalists can be often found in expressing their hate for the subhuman haole all over twitter:
Our lolcow, Anuhea would fall underneath this term. A majority of her social activism comes from sneeding about how haoles are terrible racists and how much she hates Amerikkka for denying Hawaii it's sovereignty. Anuehea expressed this sentiment:
Which judging by the queen comment makes me think that she's a monarchist .
Anuehea has also had interactions with other lefty lolcows like Hasan Piker . Where she criticized Hasan for wearing a Hawaiian shirt to Coachella:
Leftist purity testing is always a treat to witness . Now after reading all this you probably have the following question in your head:
Spoilers:
Nonetheless, that's enough background infomation so let's get to the drama
Naked Bodies aren't for your pleasure sweaty
Weirdly enough our drama started a couple weeks ago, when someone on a boat with famous capeshit actor Jason Momoa posted this video of him fishing while almost naked:
is how most people on twitter reacted to the video. Keyword being most.
Eventually, the video circulated onto Tiki nationalist twitter, and the outrage began. The pearl clutching began with Anuhea posting this tweet:
maybe if you see someone in cultural clothing you shouldn’t start sexualizing them
The audacity of these people to sexualize an almost naked man . People not understanding Anuhea's outrage attempt to provide a common sense response for what probably happened:
But this reasoning is unacceptable to Anuhea. She responds by posting the nonsensical caption of the video, implying most people should understand that the rag Jason is wearing is indigenous clothing
The previous person correctly points out most people don't even read:
I'm truly going to doubt that people even read the caption
While most people would accept this as a valid answer, it wasn't enough for Anuhea. She comes back the next day with a short novel of tweets:
Anuhea proclaims that haoles are too stupid to see the problem and refuse to educate themselves. She goes on to say how she's angry at the world that the rslurred haoles don't take her peoples problems seriously.
The haole chuds of twitter begin to make fun of her for being a haole:
Wanting to educate people against their will is a colonizer stance. checkmate.
I may have c*m on my face but you're still white
Anuhea being the terminally online checkmark she is continues to double down and call out the haoles for being racist savages:
Chuds start pulling up pictures of Anuhea's mom to make fun of her mixed race genetics:
Another PoA named Maddie shows up to defend Anuhea, saying that this is the exception to rule:
Maddie continues to peepeeride for Anuhea by constantly arguing with haole chuds.
The building pressure gets to Anuhea, and leads her to posting this bold claim in a now deleted tweet:
Unfortunately for Anuhea, this claim wasn't true and led to her sperg out getting more mainstream attention. A twitter user named River posted this tweet laughing at Anuhea:
People hanging onto the margin of error on their 23andMe like their life depends on it
The tweet blows up and people begin to point at laugh at Anuhea. This pisses of the tiki nationalists and they begin to dig through Rivers twitter profile for any dirt on him and come across these leaked DMs between River and a person with Bart Simpson as their profile picture:
Apparently River was talking to another person on twitter and was so enamored by said person that he performed a c*m tribute onto his own face to show his love. River claims these pictures are fake, but I reject this narrative and choose to believe its real.
PoA continue to pile on River claiming he's a stupid fricking chud for dismissing Anuhea ancestry and using "blood quantum theory":
Anuhea subtweets the c*m caked haole by saying:
Island Traitor
There's a lot going on with the racial purity testing and c*m tributes, but if you're big brained you'll remember that all of this drama kicked off with the video of Jason Momoa fishing naked on a boat, and tiki nationalists defending him from the culture less haoles that sexualized him.
Unfortunately for the tiki nationalists, Jason Momoa leans further into the haole fetishization and did this on Jimmy Kimmel last night:
This causes the tide turn against Jason Momoa, as tiki nationalists unknown to him are appalled by this degenerate act and begin to recant their support for him:
This news eventually makes it way to Anuhea who is devastated by the act, and doesn't understand why he would do such a thing after she adamantly defended him on twitter. In a series of tweets she writes:
Literally went balls to the wall defending and trying to redirect the horrible online attention he was receiving. Now look. This is so embarrassing for him and it shits on every Hawaiian who tried to stand up for our culture a few weeks ago.
I was being dragged on anti indigenous accounts and teased for blood quantum and being called horrible things just to have him go and do this. Its so fricking embarrassing for everyone involved
Slap fights begin to occur, when haoles take issue with Anuhea calling Jason a pick me. Anuhea proceeds to call the haole ignorant:
The fight continues with Anuhea claiming a greater understanding of Hawaiian culture than Jason Momoa, proclaiming if was actually educated he wouldn't have done this:
… I doubt that his knowledge outweighs mine bc if it did he wouldn’t do this bubs
Or his opinion on it differs from yours..
The haole still not understanding why this is even issue, receives this reply from an outside observer:
You don’t understand, there’s no such thing as having fun when you’re Hawaiian.
The twitter thread further devolves into r-sluration with PoA trying to find any loophole that would allow them reject Jason from their Hawaiian bloodline:
Born here and has indigenous blood, just grew up in Iowa with his mother. He’s Hawaiian regardless of diaspora.
Others PoA take different approach and claim that he was corrupted by (((Hollywood))):
All while this is occurring, haole chuds are having fun laughing at the tiki nationalist pearl clutching:
This but unironically
Funny to me that you mad at aqua man when you literally dressed up like a cow and put thirst trap pictures up. Surfs up dude.
Unable to reach the minds of haoles, Anuhea once again attempts to lecture and berate the uneducated haoles. Because if it didn't make the first time, surely it'll work the second time:
This is where our story ends (for now ). If you made it this far, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Im sure we'll get to see more drama from the tiki nationalists community in the near future. They always seem to be complaining about something lol. Enjoy your weekend kings!
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Anuhea's 1% of Hawaiian ancestors who united the islands via brutal campaigns of conquest and genocide would be very ashamed of her victimhood act.
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This girl doesn’t even pass as a person of aloha. Like her mom’s white genes totally cancelled out all that indigenous blood like get the frick over it.
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This is why I believe (((they))) are the only ones who got it right when it comes to determining someone's ethnicity. Forget all this fractional bullshit, ethnicity should be purely matrilineal.
Your mother's mother's mother was Mayo and all seven other great-grandparents were Black? Too bad, you're a frickin' cumskin.
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This also makes sense because so many people don't have their daddy around, but not having your mama around is pretty rare
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Had a few friends raised by single dads. Tbh they had it pretty good, they were the dudes that always had M80s and cigarettes.
Also ended up being confident people, funny how having a father around helps that along.
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Not having the dad around is good evidence of the race tbh.
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Well what I mean is like, no one would know that she’s a BIPOC if she didn’t constantly tell people that she was. Like you see this broad at the airport you’re gonna think she’s just another mainland mayo tourist.
In fact, Polynesian genes hit you hard. I’m barely Samoan and I get dark af (mostly white and East Asian, a little bit so “white”). She’s so NOT dark and NOT Polynesian looking that I would assume her dad is like 3 quarters mayo.
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The one drop rule only works for Jews because of their superior genetics
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Wait, how is inheriting titles & shit gonna work? Aren't those usually male?
Hawaii used to be a monarchy, so that kinda applies here.
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Names, land, titles, etc. still get passed down from the father. Ethnicity and religion are from the mother. That's how (((they))) do it, and it's clearly working for (((them))).
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Lol I remember she was posted here before and a black kang was dunking on her for her Plastic Hula Skirt militancy. She reminds me of the "continent of Hawaii" foid who was giving that Uber driver a hard time and ended up getting dumped on the side of the road.
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Link?
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trigger warning: Valley Girl accent
H3H3 made a reaction video before they cucked out, kek
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Source???!???!
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They didn't sell benzene to kids
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S*x work is work, good god. Any single quality it has, other work has too.
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My bio was made up by the ai rdrama comment generator from a couple weeks ago
Also i don't imagine other work involves ingesting your customers' semen
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I see you’ve never worked sales on commission.
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The funniest part about the blood and soil Hawai’i stuff is that the ‘native’ Hawaiians are pretty much all mutts so it’s basically mayos vs. mayos while the that outnumber the mayos 2:1 are laughing on the side lines.
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Exactly haha. I think make up to about 40% of the native population but 0% of the outrage. I wonder why that is
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Asians created every single "hawaiian" dish except for malasadas and kalua pig
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Growing up it took me an embarassingly long time to learn that Portuguese weren’t Asian because everyone else was so I just assumed they were too lmao
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Portuguese isn't Asian food, but Peruvian is basically Chinese fusion.
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You’re Hawaiian?
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She should have made the mommy video and faded into obscurity.
I read some anthropology shit about Hawaii, and incest and pedophilia were the norm before they were colonized. Like it was normal for aunts to teach their little nephews how to frick. And it was considered rude to turn someone down for s*x, so even you incel drama strags could have fricked someone who looked like Auli'i. So colonialism is good, but also means you can't frick Auli'i.
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Another good thing ruined by haoles
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White boy brought aids so actually it makes sense to not frick around anymore. Thanks whitey! REALLY HATE YOU FOR THIS!
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Check out my new book The Joy of AIDS
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It's over for hawaiicels
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link?
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I don't know, it was years ago. I think it came up when I was researching Pitcairn Island. I just remember it because I love learning the fricked up reality about indigenous people and how it contrasts to woke mayo queen fantasies.
There's plenty of fricked up shit in here: http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2000to2004/2004-sexual-behavior-in-pre-contact-hawaii.html
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landback now
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Good effort post. Also, still volcel if you wouldn't.
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It's not the looks. How do you actually get around to the s*x part of social interaction with someone this insufferable?
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I've been following her for a while and she often talks about being rejected by moids and foids.
But she recently got lucky and has been bragging about how she was able to hook up with a foid . She took down the tweet when chuds started laughing at her
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Bulge?
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Yes, but it's a feminine bulge. Don't be a bigot.
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Whats goin on with that foot in the bottom left? Wtf
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Tricking foids like this into thinking you believe what they believe makes the s*x that much better.
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This comment is misogynistic and offensive. It is disrespectful to women and objectifies them as sexual objects. It is also insulting to suggest that men who trick women into believing that they share their beliefs are doing so solely for sexual gratification. This is a sexist, harmful viewpoint that contributes to the objectification and mistreatment of women.
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Good.
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What kind of response is that? At least tell me how you really feel.
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I feel okay at the moment.
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Why are you only feeling okay? You should be feeling great!
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Thanks baby
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Self flagellating yt's don't get laid with these broads, do they?
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Fwoids like this are the exact pwoblem that r*pe was invented by hardworking enginyeers two swowlve. Guarantee that if u r*ped her a few timwes she'd behave better.
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I think I've seen this movie.
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Copious amounts of booze and/or other drugs
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She's part aloha, so probably a jar with some gasoline.
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Are kanaks known for drinking gasoline?
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Sounds like a volcel problem tbh.
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Yeah she's cute idgaf
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Her lips are too big.
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Yeah super pointy elbows 🙄
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She's also not a real woman.
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Captain James Cook was notorious for his backside shaking abilities. The natives tried to stop him, but, alas, the colonizer twerk was too strong.
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Incredible post, king
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Thanks friend!
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good morning indeed
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What's her take on Hawaiian pizza? Are white people allowed to eat it?
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If u have a good Twitter acct to burn that'd be a good way to stir the pot
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Invented by a Greek guy in Canada therefore dirty cultural appropriation.
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hawaiian shirts seem to have been invented by chinx or jxps
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new
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It was new to me
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South park used "haole" in their 2012 episode "going native". People like the lolcow from your post have existed for a pretty long time.
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lol zoomers. 80's nostalgia is in.
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Im more of a Imperialist BIPOC Stout kinda guy but this is good too
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Great frickin post. That mid chick with the massive tatas definitely is worth investigating further
Also, reminds me to represent my traditional culture on my next Hawaiian vacation. Pic related, it's me
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white people yelling at other white people for being racist
another day that ends in day
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I really enjoy your posts and comments, you're very funny and this post is super high effort. Also, I think your little blurb next to your name is hilarious and I laugh every time I read it!
Surf on, smallnips, and may the aloha spirit guide you 🤙
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mahalo friend. I enjoy writing for you guys and love to see the hilarious comments people post in response. You have a great weekend king!
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Great effort post. Haole has been a term for a very long time. fyi.
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Thank you! And for sure, I just said it for the meme since I recently learned about it while writing this up
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It literally goes back to Captain Cook lol
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