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Is Chris Cornell the most overrated male vocalist of the last 30 years? Nah, that would be Mike Patton. But he's definitely up there.

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Robert Plant and Freddie M don't count because their heyday was more than 30 years ago, but holy shit these Rolling Stone lists are like a who's who of the only names anybody can remember from Adult Hits radio.

Internet dweebs always whine about vidya "journ*lism," but dammit if good music journ*lism didn't die with Mark Prindle.

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I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trains owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.


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Now playing: Welcome to Crocodile Isle (DKC2).mp3

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