Oh boy oh boy oh boy, when I saw this post on /r/southafrica a week ago, I just knew I had to make a write-up about Steve Hofmeyr, the most dramatic r-slur ever to grace South Africa with his music!!

CONTEXT (1): Father of the Nation

Ok so because Nelson Madiba Mandela was so very charismatic, and had such immense influence upon the creation of the Modern Democratic South Africa, he quickly obtained the moniker of Father of the Nation, similar to Attaturk for Roachland, or the group of dudes in burgerland who all sign that parchment about how much Bongland sucked for 9 paragraphs before they finally came to the independence part.

It's pretty obvious who you're referring to when using Father of the nation for all the races in RSA. Well. All except the afrikaners tee hee

CONETXT (2): Steve Hovmeyr

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Hofmeyr

Steve Hofmeyr is probably the most famous afrikaans singer/songwriter alive. He's an incredibly talented musician with a golden voice, with hit after hit behind his name. If you enjoy afrikaans music, you'd enjoy his shit. He's also popular with women, and has had so many fricking infidelities, that he was the greatest gossip subject in what little counts for South African hollywood for over two decades.

It's been rumoured for so long that he has had an affair in every city he has every visited, and boned a fan at every concert he has ever performed at - giving rise to the joke, that he is the unofficial Afrikaner Father of the Nation, because he has fathered more illigitemate bastards than Ghengis Khan himself.

https://www.citizen.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/steve-hofmeyr-manages-to-get-all-his-children-under-one-roof-for-the-first-time/ (that we know of)

He's also a mega turbo lolcow, and I'm going to talk about allllllllllll of his awesome r-slurations over the years!

CONETXT (3): Minor Dramas of Steve Hofmeyr - part 1 of 800

His drama-career started in early 2008 when he divorced the broad https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natasha_Sutherland, a mediocre actress in an afrikaans daytime soap tv show. After a decade of faithful marriage, our boi Steve started to reach new heights of fame, and begame to bang fangirls left and right. Naturally they divorced. But not before our boi cried to the media about needing psyciatric help, after having dragged his wife through the mud. Such a nice guy

In 2008 he also threw tea at the Editor of Huisgenoot, probably the biggest magazine at that moment in time of RSA. This was notable because it pissed of his Bong fanbase. Great wordplay from the article btw

"Gob-smacked witnesses stared open-mouthed as Hofmeyr took a "pot shot" at Weideman at the Palace breakfast terrace at Sun City on Monday morning." Hehehe

https://www.news24.com/news24/steve-gets-shir-tea-with-editor-20081217

In 2003 he was fined R10 000 rand, the biggest fine a celebrity got at the time, cuz he was showing of his new spanking 2 x 4 pickup

https://www.news24.com/Channel/Steve-Hofmeyr-fined-R10-000-for-speeding-20140123

It goes on like this for like 15 years minor drama, you know the compulsory needed for celebrities with brain damage to stay relevant. However things would really heat up after, Steve started getting into twatter fights with LGBTQ folx!

CONETXT (4): Steve is a Christian Man

https://x.com/steve_hofmeyr/status/269659340179374080

I cant find the source on this one, but Stevie basically was one of the first celebrities who got less than universal adoration from the Queer community of RSA for saying pre 2010 that marriage was between a man and a woman, this was actually quite uncontroverisal at the time, so no wonder i cant find jackshit online, since even fricking obama didnt say shit till like 2012. It wouldn't be till like post 2012 that internet became common for RSA poorcels, and moralstroggotry became the norm, that Steve would start to catch flak for not sucking the gock.

His most based sneed among the queers of RSA, was when he compared gays-acceptance by Disney to be a slippery slope which would normalize other deviancies like Beastiality. This offended the RSA furry community, because he spoke the truth.

https://www.iol.co.za/lifestyle/family/parenting/steve-hofmeyr-back-tracks-on-disney-lgbtq-comment-apologises-to-queer-community-kind-of-9282e9b2-9912-41fa-95e6-5138ccfa9da3

CONETXT (5): Steve is a Rascist Man

Now very few people of any race actually like queers, regardless of what our constitution says, so Steve would remain still mostly popular until he started to get too vocal about his chuddyness over the years regarding the race question. It all began way back in 2011.

https://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2011-05-13-steve-hofmeyr-spits-venom/

Steve and Malema don't like each other very much. Back in 2011 when Eugene Terblanche (the biggest detractor to ending Apartheid back in 1992), was murdered gruesomely in his bed along with an infant child, a lot of tempers and racism flared on Facebook which was like the only existing viable Social Media in RSA at the time. Our boi Steve went full Boomer and used the N- , I mean the K-word very liberally until his agent could confiscate his electronics.

https://mg.co.za/article/2014-11-20-for-the-love-of-hate-speech/

Even some of his old School pals would start to distance themselves from him, as his supreme lackof survival instinct, in a country where whites are outnumebered between 10-20:1 by their black peers, he would still spout anti-black racism with wanton abandon.

https://new.timeslive.co.za/articles/news/south-africa/2018-04-10-silence-repugnant-hofmeyr-fellow-old-boy-asks-education-mec

Even most other Afrikaners had long since realized the Union of South Africa was a thing of the past, and was more concerned with surviving in the new RSA than hanging on to rotten fruit.

https://www.news24.com/news24/opinions/columnists/pieter_du_toit/why-steve-hofmeyr-is-increasingly-being-isolated-20190418

https://vaalweekblad.com/lnn/183884/racist-hofmeyr-barred-from-dutch-restaurant/?amp

https://www.news24.com/news24/i-used-to-love-steve-hofmeyr-then-i-found-out-he-was-a-racist-20180410

CONETXT (6): Steve is a Orania Man

Cue the writeup from this Dramatard: https://rdrama.net/post/135751/orania-the-town-that-has-been

Our boi Steve finally cemented himself as a racist to the minds of his liberal fanbase when he went to perform in the most chuddiest town on the whole continent of Africa

https://mg.co.za/article/2015-03-12-steve-hofmeyr-plays-orania-at-last/

CONETXT (7): Steve's grandaddy was a Nazi

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ossewabrandwag

Another drama which followed Steve his whole live was that his grandfather was a prominent member of the Ossewabrandwag, a pro-Nazi organization during WW2. They were similar to the British Union of Fascists (BUF), under Oswald during ww2, however where their Bong counterparts lacked numbers and bite, the Ossewabrandwag was a decisive threat to the Union of South Africa, which was a Commonwealth Nation, and supposed to fight fully behind Great Britain against Nazi Germany.

To understand, why the Ossewabrandwag was a thing and why it actually was a threat that could gain traction in RSA in ww2, foreigners need to understand the 1899-1902 Anglo-Boer war, when Britain and the boer Republics went to war over the fabolous wealth in terms of gold discovered near Pretoria. The summary is that the Boers vastly undersestimated the length England would go to win and was absolutely crushed into oblivion after the war, they were so reduced that the majority of the Boer republics would remain below the poverty line 50 years after the war.

But the greatest and most grandest insult the Boers would endure, would be to be forced to fight on the side of the British under the Commonwealth Banner during WW1, against the Germans, which had been the boer republics' greatest benefactors during the Anglo war. Imagine being Ukrainian today, and losing the war against russia after 3 grueling gruesome years. Then being forced as a conquered people to fight the Americans 10 years later, whom had been your greatest benefactor. It bread bitterness for two consecutive generations, so that by the time ww2 rolled up, RSA was seriously on the very dangerous brink if a populist leader could lead an insurrection. But that's a story for another longpost

point is Steve's grandaddy was a very fricking prominent member, and when asked he always went to great degrees to avoid denouncing him. Dont blame him. I love my commie killing grandady tooooo. And since nazi denouncing is very important for celebs, steve would catch flak from busybodies forever and ever. And since his increasing public racism from 2011 upwards to his visiting concert in Orania, some reporters started digging up Steve's historic records, and found him to be desendant of an even bigger No-no person than Apartheid-arbiters: te evil nazis!

CONETXT (8): Steve is a Magatard

Our boy finally started embracing his inner chud in 2016, when he went full Super-Sayan hitler mode, and publicaly announced his support for the globally unpopular Trump, by pledging undying support for the Big Orange Cheese. That's right. He pledged his support for another president. In another country...... wtf

He wasn't the only one, a lot of afrikaners and boere would drive arount with fricking Trump election merchandise on their Pick-up trucks, called bakkies in RSA. This was the weirdest shit I saw in my life at the time. To see grown men simping for a political leader - IN ANOTHER NATION lmoa

https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2017-01-17-president-trump-sas-white-rights-white-knight/

But our boi steve went even further, he stated he was willing to perform at his inauguration when Trump won lmoa Unfortunately for Steve, Trump didn't know who tf Steve was at the time, so the suggestion fell through.

https://www.timeslive.co.za/tshisa-live/tshisa-live/2017-01-18-steve-hofmeyr-willing-to-perform-at-trump-inauguration/

Steve also stated that he would go and have a chat with Trump about Volksmoord (People's murder/genocide) of boers in RSA, but unfortunately that also fell through, get this, because of Trumps immigration policy at the time lolololol

https://www.son.co.za/dieson/nuus/nasionalenuus/hofmeyr-gaan-met-trump-gesels-oor-volksmoord-in-sa-20170118

He's still an ardent supported 8 years later: https://www.thesouthafrican.com/lifestyle/celeb-news/breaking-steve-hofmeyr-facebook-songs-music-show-eff-national-shutdown-latest-21-march-2023/

CONETXT (9): Steve makes Reddit Sneed

Which brings us to today's reddit post in question. Since virtually every national subreddit is drastically more liberal than their real life counterparts, /r/southafrica has been sneeding about Steve Hofmeyr for the past however long the sub has existed. Since Steve has JK Rowling levels of Fok You money, and is one of the wealthiest people alive in RSA, he has little fear of being cancelled, especially since he still retains at least something like a 50% favorable rating amonst Afrikaans speakers, including ironically enough among Coloured people, whom he doesn't hate. Further ironically, the racial schism between modern coloured people and black people in south africa have deepened much greater since the ending of apartheid, since Cape Town coloureds feel betrayed by the ANCs BEE policy.

So he's basically like the Minecraft guy, an everpresesent untouchable chud living rent free in their minds.

The latest specific drama of https://www.msn.com/en-za/news/other/steve-hofmeyr-ordered-to-pay-r100k-to-lgbt-organisation-over-online-comments/ar-AA18EKlu?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=a0b12715bf8146e5b494dd2ff901cb39&ei=30, is when back in 2022 remember the Bestiality thing earlier in the post?

Basically a LGBT rights NGO sued him in South Africa's Equality Court. We have Free Speech in RSA constitution, but it has very little teeth compared to burgerland, especially when hatespeech is covered, so he was likely to be buttscrewed by a black judge if it went through to court.

Anyways that's all I have goodNIGHT

PS: the following dramanaughts must own up.

@Chapose

@MayflyAlt98

@Sal

@TheOverSeether