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Today I forgave myself.

In 2013, I took in a homeless teen (she was 18) who committed suicide by jumping off the roof of the apartment I was living. I tried everything I could to help her, I tried to get her back into school, I tried to get her connected with mental health support, but I was unable.

There was a lot of drama involving her 17 year old boyfriend where he broke up with her and then started dating my 20-something year old roommate who was also extremely mentally ill. I tried to pass her onto a mutual friend who had a son that knew her. She left her place and ended up back at my apartment the following day. I noticed the signs afterwards such as the fact that she was giving away cigarettes, and when I invited her out to dinner with my family when we went out for Thai food she was picking at her food and not eating. When we got back she seemed optimistic and was making accounts on dating profiles, the reason why I blamed myself for her death was because I tried to show her the Korean movie "I'm a cyborg but that okay" and at the begging of that movie there is a girl who attempts suicide. She didn't watch all the way through. The next day she jumped off my apartment balcony.

I have the tendency to take on too much responsibility for the actions of others and I finally made progress in the fact that I am able to realize I was probably the only person in her life who didn't give up on her, even at the expense of myself and it took like a decade but I was able to finally forgive myself for my role in her death. I've been so racked and overwhelmed with guilt for nearly a decade because of my tendency to take on the responsibility for others, I took on the responsibility over her death.

I just wanted to let people know that I made a lot of progress in forgiving myself because people have free will and I am not responsible for the actions of others.

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Lmao you actually killed a :marseytrain:. King of the chuds.

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I didn't kill anyone. She had a lot of problems, and I tried to help her.

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As if you're a fit and proper person to help anyone in a vulnerable state lmao you frickin killed someone with your narcissistic need to be a hero typical moid.

She would have been thinking

I need help and support and this mess latches onto me? Time to jump to my death.

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Wrong.

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I at least made an attempt.

I help others without the expectation of reward because it's the type of person I am.

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>I help others without the expectation of reward because it's the type of person I am.

lmao he's STILL playing the hero. Are you white by any chance

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And you all are seething about the fact that I helped someone. I bet you don't read the Bible at all but pick and choose and you call yourselves "Christian". I am more Christian than you.

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You killed someone, you didn't help her. You may have tried to help her, but at the end of the day, it sounds like you only made things worse.

At the end of the day, you're responsible for the outcome of your actions, not any "good intentions" that you allegedly had. Good intentions mean shit because every narcissist out there rationalizes their selfish behavior as coming from a place of "good intentions." If you can't be a man and own the fact that you fricked up, I have zero respect for you.

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I don't want to live my life consumed by negativity like you all prefer to. I forgive myself for the part I played because people have the advocacy over their own choice and I don't need to take it on.

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I don't want to live my life

:#marseyinshallah:

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he's a insane narcissist sir don't bother

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I see that now. I can't believe so many other people are falling for this insincere bullshit.

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Are you white by any chance

obviously, why even bother asking?

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he

Who?

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You made an attempt on her life and were successful. I feel like you were giddy posting about this β€œtrauma dump”

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Nope, I'm proud of myself that I found the strength to forgive myself.

I hope you learn to deal with your anger.

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I'm proud of myself

She killed herself

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And it had nothing to do with me.

I hope you can find the strength and courage to manage your own anger instead of taking it out on others.

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There is no anger. I just never saw someone so proud in taking a vulnerable teenager’s life until now

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Best gimmickposter on this site

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Honey, you're such a hero. You should get an award.

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And succeeded obviously

:marseykingcrown:

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You killed them. You’re a murderer and that’s fricked up. They would be alive rn if you didn’t kill them

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hi chomo!!! ur not just a chomo ur a murderer!!!

:#marseycop:

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Thou shall not bear false witness. It's in the book you don't read. In fact it's one of the 10 commandments.

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Oh no, are you on your Christianity arc now? :marseypastor:

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>Exodus 20:13 β€œYou shall not murder.”

u will spend eternity in heck where u belong chomo

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You are trying to bear false witness and falsely accuse one of his angels.

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I asked God to put a curse on you to help you in your spiritual development for corrupting his word.

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ur a dmonic chomo n He will not listen to ur dmonic ways bc He sees ur black chomo murderer heart hon plus u cabt be Christian n dabble in dark m*gic u FRICKING R-SLUR

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:marseypirate: : Arr, ye scurvy landlubber! I'll have ye know :marseyhesright: I be a mighty pirate :marseyzeldatetra: captain, and there :marseycheerup: be nothin' demonic :marseykitti: about me, ye filthy bilge rat! I'll have ye walk :marseywalking: the plank for talkin' such :marseymanysuchcases: treason against yer captain!

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I can, and I am more of a christian than you.

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lol i ain't ever killed someone like u hon

plus ur a chomo

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