Background: Rice University has a statue of its founder William Marsh Rice front in center at the main entrance. (wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Marsh_Rice) Unfortunately, despite donating his estate to education, he was not wholesome 100. Rice University was designated "whites only" and Rice had owned 15 slaves. Rice University is currently hyper-progressive and there has been a big movement to take down or move the statue (which holds his cremated remains btw). However, there's been some opposition, particularly from older alumni and donors. That's where you come in:
A little trolling: Rice has made an open anonymous survey for anyone to give their thoughts on the statue. Some people who care way too much about a statue with nothing better to do WILL read what you write. It's our responsibility to shed light on William Marsh Rice's buck breaking that historians have covered up. We can't let Rice get away with covering up all the broken bucks!
Also, if you want to write a more satirical bit, they featured over 200 responses last time, so the bar is low.
One thing to keep in mind: Rice students are like strawmen of progressives. I thought "fatphobia" was a right wing strawman until a Rice student unironically accused someone else of it. You don't need to tone down the absurdity as long it's the right kind.
Edit: copy paste your responses in the comments
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Did my bit by writing about buck breaking, peppering it with some whining about capitalism and multi-generational trauma and also suggested that the statue of Rice doesn't deserve any respect and hence should be replaced with one of Ray L. Johnson, the University's first Black student
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FYI, I read a lot of the featured responses, and I heard all of those points unironically except buck-breaking.
Good job. Should fit right in.
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Thanks. I also did a thing where I compared the statue with a violating phallus, drawing an analogy to buck breaking of the mind in CURRENT YEAR. Too far?
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Perfect.
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Goddam that's good. Pretty borderline, though. Those kids are just r-slurred enough to feature what you wrote. They won't let feelings get in the way of proper skepticism.
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I suggested public gay s*x parties and having queer POC drone operators blow up the statue
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Now we're getting r-slurred.
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Laughing so hard I'm crying
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Where do you read the featured responses? Mine wasnβt subtle at all so I doubt it gets featured but one can hope
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https://m.box.com/shared_item/https%3A%2F%2Frice.app.box.com%2Fs%2F643sihknv0vadpa7otzgxlm703jkjtu5
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As a person of color I request, nay expect all Caucasians to apologise for their actions. Every action they have committed was either an act of violence against me or built upon the legacy of an act of violence against me and is therefore an act of violence against me and I will no longer tolerate any acts of violence against me.
Apologise. Apologise for your buggery.
The founder of Rice should be moved, along with his statue. His ashes should be buried in ground away from all university facilities in a place which nobody can or should visit. He was responsible for the breaking and enslavement of my people and slavery was perpetrated as a way to feminine-ize my people in a process known as "buck breaking". I have no idea if Rice personally participated in this but it goes as part and parcel of the black slave experience and is responsible for pushing a homofascist agenda onto my people today. We will not be broken and I will not forget the ruthless sodomy inflicted upon my ancestors.
Also the veggie menu in the cafeteria does not include hummus most weeks. Please include hummus.
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you moron, it does include hummus
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I didn't actually check the menu did I?
What are you? The Daniel Day-Lewis of LARPers?
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All those words won't bring daddy back.
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I'm doing my part
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Everyone had slaves lol. Even the blacks. The natives had black slaves during the trail of tears.
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Try to get in the spirit of things.
Nobody appreciates a seriousposting rightoid.
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Agreed, however it's funny and sad that saying factual, non-r-slurred things about idpol race shit is rightoidism now
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Itβs rightoidism when you let it cloud a very nice trolling opportunity
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Don't stop short - all other concerns wither before the pulling of the leg.
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furry is zoophile blackface
Snapshots:
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Speak your truth king π
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https://i.ibb.co/TKQ8rYY/8616c665bdc3.webp
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Forget the statue, I recommended renaming the university. βThe name Rice cannot be separated from the practice of slavery itself.β Changed the wording a bit obviously.
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I LARPed a buttmad old rightoid who would never give a penny again if they touched the statue
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Didnt grab my response to the second question. It was about buck breaking though.
It is insane that they still allow half starved, stick figured proportioned women to walk around campus. As someone with a larger body type, the way these vapid bimbos trance around is very obviously done to provoke others. I end up staying by in my room because some of girls I see around campus trigger my anxiety so much. Can we have some space made for larger body typed women to feel more comfortable?
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Link?
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Nvm, I am r-slurred.
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So cute :)
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It's OK, we all are
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I ran out of funny ideas help
https://i.ibb.co/XZCs6qK/4659028f0475.webp
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why does this need to be a country club post
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I provided some useful feedback
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I did my part. Feels good to be a conscientious citizen of the drama state.
https://i.ibb.co/ZJv9ZVD/5561a29a6951.webp
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Is "Living Privlidge" too obvioius?
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So when are we going to see what gets featured?
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Survey closes the 30th. If they show responses again (may not happen again), it will be at the soonest weeks after that, but I wouldn't count on it. They'll probably announce a decision and that will be it. They might also complain about a racist group submitting hate speech after that one guy's response. I'll keep you posted, but don't expect anything to happen.
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Jfc that's 3 owls in one cartoon cat fan forum - Who Knew?!
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I use to have rice football season tickets, cause my dad was cheap
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