Let me just preface this by saying it's so over and that you shouldn't read this if you aren't one of my brocels or siscels (male) but lately I have become incredibly emotional.
Don't believe me?
I and my boys (all 30 year old -cels) were playing CS and queue'd up with a random Swede or something and near the end of the game he said "This was the most fun I've had in a long time" and I started fricking crying. Unironically. Like the match wasn't even especially funny or anything, I just roasted him for having 0 headshots somewhere in the middle of the game by asking if he's saving them all for the next game or something and this guy couldn't stop talking or laughing after that. So once he said the aforementioned sentence idk I was imagining his life how he must have felt and how that little interaction made his entire week and I started fricking crying ffs
Then there's this event where I was buying groceries at a local supermarket and some Polish construction workers were debating which alcohol to buy and they counted their money and apparently they didn't have enough to buy what they wanted and since I can somewhat understand Slavic languages (well not any details or nuance or anything but like the gist of what they are talking about) I just had to pretend to search for something so I could listen to their conversation and they were arguing and I can't stand people getting upset so I just gave them like 20β¬ so they can buy what they want. They looked pretty shocked but reluctantly accepted the money and asked me to drink a beer with them but I cannot drink even though I used to love it because the last time I got drunk I get overcome by melancholy and uhh well like you know. Well anyways I once again started to cry thinking of their lives and what kind of things must have happened in their existence to make them argue about pocket change to buy alcohol.
I wouldn't even say I'm overly emphatic or anything but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I cannot even browse this site any longer because I keep tearing up whenever you people link something that makes me feel sad 
So, I've tried some coping strategies but none of them seem to work especially that stoic cope I see online from time to time but people don't seem to grasp that Marcus Aurelius invented the concept of stoicism to distract himself from the things in his life because there was too much stuff going on. Online larpers (like me) have nothing going on in their existence so why even bother doing that? I've asked around other places online and many of them told me I should rope or go to therapy but I don't see how that will help me overthink everything. Maybe some of our smartest dramatards can give me some advice? (@Retaaaard
@jackie)
Anyways, the video survey post is currently at 40k characters and while I'm not particularly proud of it I think it's quite decent so far.
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The problem is likely partially that you don't have enough new stimuli, if you've gotten into the same routine then you might develop emotional dyregulation as you become numb to the expected and hyperaware of the novel. This just seems like standard emotional dyregulation honestly which is often the result of high stress, anxiety, or shame which wears down your ability to regulate and filter emotions resulting in them being expressed in their total extreme. I'm not saying that your BPD as it's also comorbid with autism. It's also common if you've had your emotions and feelings invalidated consistently which resulted in you refusing to express them out of fear of being called an incel loser.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7375152/
If you have had a tendency of suppressing strong emotions rather than trying to temper them then that's likely the reason. Your stewing in the same problems and lifestyle without any noticable progression which wears you down. You have a predetermined response for a majority of your life, as it's the same every day, and extreme reactions to anything novel.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_dysregulation
You might also have alexithymia, the inability to accurately express your emotions, which is comorbid autism.
Could also be a hormonal imbalance(unlikely)
The best solution is likely exploring new hobbies/interests, breaking up what you do within your schedule while retaining the basic schedule structure, exercise(this helps with hormonal balance and general emotional regulation), and reading Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies for Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, and Worry as this is unironically what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was designed for, regulating emotions without invalidating them through recontextualization. Make consistent and achievable goals, make small changes to your life that you know will stick and over the weeks escalate them.
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/cognitive-behavioral-therapy
Also a consistent sleep schedule,in particular waking up at the same time everyday, is very useful.
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Hey,
I've had some moments to reflect on your comment and I think you're at least somewhat correct with your assessment here. In fact, I've tried changing my regular schedule over the last couple of days and I've had yet to face any overwhelming emotional outbreaks like the one I posted here two weeks ago. One thing that helped me (and I further elaborated on this in another comment) was regulating my emotions - no matter how unpleasant the process was at that specific moment. I've briefly skimmed the articles/links you proposed here and while I agree with some of their content I'm painfully aware of how unreliable online self-diagnosis is. Maybe, just maybe I need to speak to a professional although - and I'll be sincere here - I'm terrified of the consequences. Either way, thank you for that comment.
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Your pulitzer's in the mail
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