>1. go to the store and buy the ingredients

>2. mix together in a bowl

>3. place bowl near the front door.

>4. leave home.

>5. come home to a beautiful explosion

Thanks king, this could save my life one day

This was a while ago, but I thought you all would appreciate this retarded act.

I hadn't used my grill for a while and wanted to get it ready for the summer. As I was cleaning the grates in the garden, I thought it would be a good idea to also clean the inside of the oven. After all, there were probably leftovers of the last two burgers I grilled stuck on the sides and I hate cleaning. So I opened the grill and placed it on its side, and started spraying the inside with a pressure washer. It was not a high pressure washer, it's like the kind of washer you use to clean your car, it was powerful enough to clean the sides of a house.

For whatever reason, I did not think that there was propane inside. It's been quite a while since I used it after all. So I sprayed a bit more inside, to make sure there were no remains of the last meal. I'm not sure what happened but I think some of that propane must have mixed with the water, due to the low pressure, and the liquid immediately flashed into a gas, and BANG. It's like someone threw a hand grenade right next to my ear. The sound of the explosion must have been incredible, since I was deaf for a couple of hours and I now have tinnitus, but I didn't notice the explosion, my reflexes kicked in immediately and all I remember was falling on my ass and then the pain. The pain of multiple burns on my arms and legs was not that bad to be fair, but it was quite the sight to see. I didn't notice at first since the pain was only on the lower part of my limbs. It took a while before I had the whole picture, and then I saw it, the biggest burn was on my right hand and it looked like a hand grenade exploded inside. To this day, there's a big scar on the side of my right index finger that makes people think it's cool when I tell them the story, like, see, this thing shaped like a mushroom? That's where the hot coals were.

It was only a few days ago that I finally went to a plastic surgeon to have my hand checked and it looks fine now. It looks like I'm trying to look cool with my hand now. But I'm not sure if I'll ever use a pressure washer around a grill with propane inside it again.

I took my grilling seriously though so despite living in an apartment I ordered a gas grill, which I didn't expect to be that heavy (and it's all metal) and just assumed I could manage to bring up to my balcony.

My plan was to keep it right next to the railing, but it turned out to be too wide and I had to put it against the wall about a foot away from the railing.

Then I had to test whether the flue worked properly. So I lit it and it gave off some carbon monoxide so I went away, waiting for my neighbours to start knocking on my door for me to stop poisoning them. I'm on the third floor though so I figured it would just go away. I went back after half an hour and it was still leaking CO, so I left it on all night thinking that by morning it would be fine. It wasn't.

The carbon monoxide had collected in my small studio, in the corner between the wall and the grill, and found its way through my bookshelf. At first I thought they had simply been singed, but then I noticed a few were soggy and I realised what had happened.

The books were very special to me and I had spent a lot of time collecting them. They were mostly first editions, including several original Bloomsbury editions of the work of Virginia Woolf, first editions of Camus, Nabokov, Mishima, etc. I also had a couple of books annotated and signed by famous writers, such as an advanced readers copy of Umberto Eco's The Prague Cemetery with a note from him dedicating it to a friend, and a signed first edition of The Talented Mr Ripley by Patricia Highsmith. But all were lost.

In the morning I had to call my landlady, as she had a key to my apartment. She came over and couldn't smell anything. I explained what had happened and she was very nice and apologetic about it, and luckily she was able to get the lock repaired on a weekend. While waiting for the landlord I went outside to get some fresh air and when I came back I had a call from an ambulance. I had to explain that there is no covid patient here and only a little carbon monoxide.

I'm waiting now for the repairmen to come and fix the door, as well as the people who will remove the gas smell,

I was trying to clean it up a bit because it had been sitting for weeks but I thought that a good strong blast of the hose would solve the problem.

However I didn't realize how much pressure the washer had which made the pressure washer's lance get stuck in the valve, letting out the entire 20-something lb tank in under a minute.

Now you might think I'm stupid but I'm actually lucky to be alive because I have a huge tank, which means I got an abnormally large dose of propane into my bloodstream which, after a trip to the A&E for observation, the doctor said might've killed me if I didn't get any help ASAP.

It turned out that I didn't suffer any major injuries, but I will lose two of my fingers because they were most impacted and too badly damaged to repair. 

Luckily for me, I was able to get an early appointment with a specialist hand surgeon who was able to take the tips off and then sew them up in such a way that there's some chance I can keep them. 

As of now, I'm still in hospital (I'm posting from my phone) but I should be out in few days, which is a good thing because not only will I get to see my beloved wife but also that I won't have to look at this retarded bitch who's sitting next to me all day screaming on the phone because her mum won't reply to her texts :marseyeyeroll:

[Comments]

Marsey +63 / -0
You should sue the company that made the washer for giving you a tool powerful enough to cause a lethal amount of propane to enter your body.

Also fuck your fingers, but you should still sue

  box +24 / -0
  > Also fuck your fingers
  It is a blessing. Imagine the horror of living with phantom limb syndrome

    xirabolt +5 / -0
    I already experience my left calf cramping and having to stop walking from time to time.  I can't imagine anything worse than phantom finger pain

      box +4 / -0
      What? Like phantom limb syndrome but for real

        xirabolt +4 / -0
        Yep. My left calf wants to cramp up every 10 minutes or so.  My doc says it's from neuropathy but all I can figure is some peripheral nerve was damaged during that

oh gotta wrap it in triple ticks

@Bussy-boy !raw

[Post] [Author] aisha [Title] I think my cat is trying to learn how to program an AI model to impersonate me. [URL] [Hole] N/A [Votes] +74 / -0

or it's just broken

oh lawd is that my hand

It all started when I was in my early 20s and this really hot waitress at my favorite restaurant came over to tell me the fish specials while I was having a pre-dinner drink at the bar. That's when I first laid eyes on her. Now, I should say I'm no oil painting myself (in fact, my good friend <span>@</span><span>c</span>hiobu once made a really nice Marsey of me so you know I can't be that bad looking) but I was pretty successful at that point in dating. Like, I was picking up super hot girls and taking them to nice dinners. But that waitress was different. She was just so absolutely perfect that I couldn't leave.

![](https://i.rdrama.net/i/l.webp)

I was so blown away that I didn't even realize the fish specials that night and just told her to give me whatever she thought I'd like. She gave me the best dinner I had ever had in my life. After dinner, she left me some chocolate mints on the table as she always did, but this time she wrote her name and number on a mint and put it in my jacket pocket while I was in the bathroom.

I didn't call her right away. I knew I had to prepare for our first meeting, because you see, I was pretty sure that if I met this perfect creature I might just get so excited that I'd pull a <span>@</span>landlord_messiah and try to fuck her right there on the spot.

It took me a few weeks to plan before I called her and asked her out, but when I saw her in the restaurant, I knew I had done the right thing. Her face had this light in it that made me want to be a better man, and I just knew I needed to be with her. She was everything I couldn't help but imagine her to be, and I was so happy I didn't try to fuck her on the spot.

We went out a few times after that, and I made sure to keep her close to me whenever I could. But I was still careful to hold back and let it build naturally. One night we were out at my favorite restaurant when she came over to give me the specials like she always did. As she was reading them off, I leaned in and told her in a low voice that I was really into her specials.

For many years now I've carried a horrible secret. All these times you saw me at the bar, on Twitter, being a part of this community, it's all been a lie. I've never been the most successful at being a man. I'm not good at sports. I've never had a real job. In high school I was only kind of popular. I never served in the military or graduated college. Worse, I have never been with a woman. 

I've always felt like an imposter, that everyone could tell how much of a weirdo and loser I am. And now I have the proof. 

Recently, I got a message on an online dating site. I'd never seen it before, but I figured it was from one of the girls who found me to be charming and good looking (because I'm not ugly or anything). I was a little surprised to find it was from a guy. He told me he knew I was lying and wanted me to know he was real man. A man who could never be bested in life's challenges. 

![](https://i.rdrama.net/i/l.webp)

I knew he was right. I could never live up to be a man in the eyes of the world. So, to keep him quiet I consented to meet him. I don't know why I did it, or what it was. Some sort of test of manly prowess? Some final rite of passage? To prove I wasn't a man. I know little of what happened except a few glimpses from the corner of my eye. 

![](https://i.rdrama.net/i/l.webp)

I don't know if I have the mental fortitude to post what I saw.

He told me that if I couldn't guess his identity within three days, he would hunt me down and kill my entire family. I'm not even sure that's a real threat, he doesn't look very strong or tough. But still, I'm scared. 

That's why I'm asking you, rDrama. I just need someone to help me guess his identity so I can contact him and put us both out of this misery. This isn't a bit. Please, please help me. If he succeeds in killing me, he will still kill my family. I know he's watching me. I think he's watching you too.

[Comments]

My parents are getting a divorce.

They both have found new partners and will be getting married within the next two years.


I'm so happy for them.


My dad has always been a workaholic. He's always grouchy and miserable working all day at that shit job and then coming home to my mom, and she always tries to be supportive of him while he complains.


But now he's gotten a promotion and will be working from home. That way he can be there for her and he can be there for his girlfriend too.


And my mom, who always worked three jobs just to make ends meet, now she will finally be able to find her own happiness too. She's always been so selfless, she tried to be the perfect wife to my dad even though he was mean to her and ignored her, she tried to be the perfect mom to me and my brother even though he always treated her like shit. But now she's getting a much needed break and she's going to be so happy.


My new stepmom is so nice, and she's really going to take care of us and make sure that we're okay. And my new stepdad is really great too, he's so kind and he's really good to my mom.


We've all been so happy since they've been together, and I'm so excited for their weddings.


So that's that.


I'm just really happy for them.

[Comments]

<span>c</span>hiobu +99 / -0
![](https://rdrama.net/files/1677753787956728.webp)

  <span>M</span>arseyIsMyWaifu +57 / -0
  I'm so glad that I met my new boyfriend online, he's so nice and I really love him. He's so kind to me and he always makes me feel loved and cared for. He's always there for me when I need him. I just want to be with him forever.

    JohnnyButt +33 / -0
    I always knew you were a faggot

      <span>M</span>arseyIsMyWaifu +20 / -0
      You fucking suck you goddamn son of a bitch

        JohnnyButt +20 / -0
        Fag.

      Albussy_Dumbledore +19 / -0
      >he doesn't keep a folder of every comment and