Come laugh at this WSB r-slur lose 375k in the most protracted, r-slurred way possible.

A dumbass on WSB lost money? Must be a day that ends in 'y.' But seriously, this one's extra funny because he has a number of posts documenting the crash, and it all happened in less than one day.

It all starts with this post from yesterday where he reveals that he owns over $500k in AMD stonks, and flexes on his earnings whereon of... *drumroll*... $300.

So, even though this guy's profits are hanging on a knife-edge, it's clear that he's got volume - he 'aint no minnow.

He goes on to explain the strategy that got him his 0.06% winnings:

I was gonna put like 20k in calls but I don't want to get IV crushed. Let's see if they rocket after ER. I guess if they don't I can always hold the bag if my stop loss doesn't trigger. Much better than options tho!

I'll give you all my DD too. NVDA said they don't have enough supply to meet demand on their last ER. I believe AMD has been helping fill that high demand. Also based on intel's ER, they have lost more market share, and I'm betting AMD has been the one to take that market share. Lastly we are in the AI hype bubble and there are no signs the bubble will pop (yet). AMD has yet to be valued similar to NVDA, and it think it has the potential to reach a similar valuation ratio to NVDA, which would give it a price of $175 per share. We rocket after hours when the ER drops

I've got a stop loss set incase it tanks- I am a risk management genius. Fair warning to anyone following this, they dropped 20% last ER at a much cheaper valuation. Don't yolo into options cause you can't set a stop loss like me! This could tank.

Calm, careful, calculated. Clearly, there's a reason this guy's the whale that eats chumps like us for breakfast. You might not be savvy enough to understand the jargon here, but here's the key takeaway for you peons: Don't buy options! - you're a fricking idiot if you do. Just remember that and you'll be fine, you might even catch some of his slipstream on his way to the moon.

He's not in smooth waters, though. He made this post - and likely the purchase not long before - just in advance of AMD's quaterly earning's report (ER). This is always risky because the sudden influx of financial information can cause the stock price to move quickly and unpredictably. In just a few hours the stock proceeded to... immeditately fricking tank:

Goodjob!

<image> <- link to an image of the stock dropping like a stillborn baby

Yeah it literally tanked right after. I'm also reading that they tanked 20% on the ER before this when they were at a much cheaper valuation. This could blow up in my face. I'm setting a stop loss so it doesn't get too ugly.

No matter though, they call the valient WSB apes diamond hands for nothing. 20% loss? No sweat off my balls! The market proceeded to close less than an hour later, and our ape no doubt treated himself to a relaxing evening of netflix and pornography (it's good for you, goy!)

We proceed to the next day. The market opens and the impact of the ER has completely materialized. But where a fool sees tragedy, our savvy ape sees an opportunity.

First lesson of yolonomics: BUY THE FRICKING DIP

Yeah, he got 80k worth of options. What? Are you a fricking idiot or something? Of course that's a good idea. $1.4k in profits doesn't lie, paperhands.

He's not finished either:

So he drops another 100k on options. Because it's morning, and he's doesn't do coffee. (Broke boys wouldn't understand!)

So it's let's fast-forward to lunchtime, and let's see how his moves are doing:

Please if it just bounces back I will delete Robinhood and quit gambling forever

This drop is relentless. I know in my heart it will bounce back. Nothing just drops forever. Trust me, NOTHING ever goes straight down. This is the core tenant of my YOLO philosophy. Look at any stock chart ever. There are ups and downs. It never just straight drops with no end in sight. That's extremely rare. This will bounce back to at least 112, maybe higher. To anyone watching on this side, right here is the best place to YOLO into calls. You will make so much money if you buy here. I've lost NOTHING YET

Alright, he's feeling the heat - wouldn't you? It's okay though, because he's got nerves of steel, he's not a popsicle like you. Time for the backup plan:

Double down again

I just doubled down again at 109.60

can you post your rtx position

I just sold it to buy more AMD

This is very dark

I am either going to be destroyed or come out of this forever changed. I swear this is the time I will finally kick gambling. I'm done with this. I need this wake up call to kill my euphoria. But I swear to god I am done after this. I will finally stop

At this point, you might think that this guy is panicking and started to stray from his core philosophy. You'd be wrong:

Guys one more core tenant of the yolo philosophy. When all hope is lost and you're about to abandon your position. The best thing to do is double down. Then when you start doubting your self and feeling like a failure is who is going to quit gambling, and you've lost thousands, you double down again. This is that very moment: Where there is seemingly no light and anyone else would sell.

This is why everyone fails, because remember: as soon as you sell it goes back up. When you decide to sell is the moment it's truly oversold. We all have this internal feeling and the market is traded on emotion, thus I believe this feeling of despair can predict when the market will rise. Hence why this is a core tenant of the yolo philosophy. You must have balls of steel.

He's hasn't lost hope either:

You're done OP, accept it.

No. A huge rebound is nearly guaranteed to occur. My conviction will never yield on this. 109.6 was the bottom, mark my words

His next move was to YOLO on shopify stock calls instead. Diversify, baby!

200k SHOP ER yolo after losing 175k on AMD

You might also be wondering how this guy got this much money in the first place. Let's just say he knows some people:

Bro you just said you we're going to stop gambling. Take this out and do not gamble with money you don't have

I will once I make back the money. I cannot afford to lose what I lost, I won't go into too much detail but much of my starting capital isn't mine. I had to use credit card debt for this one. Here I will make it all back then I can calm down and retire from gambling. Yes this is a symptom of gambling. I know I should stop now before it gets worse, but I can't stop.

Those people being his credit card companies . Yeah, he's legitimately circling the drain now. Hopefully $SHOP stays aloft though. I mean, how many bad things can happen in one day, right?

* Fast-forwarding to 3 hours later *

WHAT THE FRICK IS THIS PRICE MOVEMENT. IVE LOST $375k SHOPIFY RUINED MY LIFE

IM SWEATING AND CRYING I JUST FRICKED UP MY WHOLE LIFE.

Guys this is fricking credit card debt. I don't know what to to. I'm so fricked. SHOP ROCKETED UP 6% THEN JUST CRASHED. PLEASE GOD HELP ME MY LIFE IS RUINED.

I AM SO FRICKED I CANT LOSE THIS MONEY FRICKING IV CRUSH WILL KILL ME. IM DONE WITH THIS SUB YOURE NOT GETTING ANY LOSE PORN BECAUSE IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING CRAZY TONIGHT. I WONT BE AROUND TO POST ON REDDIT. FRICK MY LIFE IS OVER.

MY GOD PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME. GUYS I PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO CHUG A BOTTLE. I'm so drunk I'm going to smash my phone and go run outside naked. Frick it frick it I'm going naked outside and lighting a bond fire with all my possessions. Hopefully MY HOUSE gets burnt down too so I can collect the insurance money to YOLO one last time. I AM HAVIJG A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Frick guys please I m going to max out my credit cards fully now I'm going to declare bankruptcy after. Who wants my stuff before I light it on fire IVE ALREADY LIT OVER 375k on fire. FRICK ME ITS OVER EVERYONE I THOUGHT IT COULD MAKE IT BACK. IMTS HARD TO TYOE BECAUSE TEARS AR ON MY PHONESCREAM. I'm done with this shit. BYE MOTHERLOVERS

Yep, shopify cratered too. Whoops.

In the comments his fellow apes are trying to help out by giving him sound advice, but he refuses to listen:

you still have a house, try for a HELOC

also i hear a kidney is going for 200k on the black market and you only need one to live

Have you considered a second mortgage on a home? Earnings season not over yet.

You will still probably have 150k OP, it's OK. Go for another YOLO to make it back

This is the way

Next play is the one chief

It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. I feel bad for you, but there is nothing I can do to help you. You should probably seek professional help if you are feeling this way. <- this one was made by an AI rigged up to Chat-GPT

The last we hear from him is a concise salutary remark in the daily What Are Your Moves thread:

FRICK YOU ALL MOTHERLOVERES

There's been no word of him since, but my sources are telling me that's he's since made a small investment in Smith & Wesson.

It's always funny to watch idiots live out 2000 year old parables and learn the lesson the hard way 'cause they were too lazy to read the bible. This one really needs a qualifier though: There's no such thing as a free lunch - for him. Reading this post cost you a whopping $0.00.