BONJOUR Y'ALL! Quebec has a prime lolcow in its pasture!

>browsing /r/amerexit for low-hanging fruit

>hmm what's this?

Because a post with a title like this, on a subreddit for aspiring American émigrés, must certainly be written by somebody delusional, I clicked it with the expectation that it would be really, really entertaining. What I found instead was a post that was really, really entertaining and also written by one of the messiest internet people I've ever seen.

Meet /u/CJsTT

/u/CJsTT is a 35-year-old woman who had to navigate a life from humble beginnings (Texas) while grappling with an obscure medical condition known as Autism. Although details about her childhood are sparce (cba to go through more of her post history tbh), her early experiences with Autism clearly left a deep imprint on her identity, as she writes about her Autism in nearly every post. At some point in her journey she acquired a stalker -- while the stalker may or may not actually exist, his real or perceived presence in her life set off the chain of events that would exhaust taxpayer money and the patience of /r/Quebec.

CJ Flees Texas

The stalker's all-pervading presence in CJ's mind became too much to bear; even her (reactive and anxious) protection and emotional support service dog could no longer put her at ease -- though through this entire ordeal she has found the strength to share her PI through posting her TikTok, LinkedIn, and CANADIAN REFUGEE DOCUMENTS on Reddit ("I just don't like hiding"). She was left with no option but to flee to Canada and seek asylum under the pretense that stalking is gender-based persecution and that her stalker won't be able to find her address if it's in silly French words.

CJ traveled to Quebec at the height of COVID and became one of fourteen asylum-claimants privileged enough to reach Canada in April 2020. Because international law dictates that asylum-seekers be given entry into a safe country, Quebec had no choice but to let her in and begin the long, COVID-backlog'd process to ultimately deport her. Awash with a newfound sense of safety, CJ lodged herself like a candiru into the province's social safety net.

CJ, the Quebecer

The taxpayers of Canada have helped CJ settle into her new life through funding her French lessons, immigration lawyer, welfare, court hearings (with breaks for accommodation), psychiatric care, and lengthy periods of institutionalization. While she's grateful to her supporters, her stay is not a walk in the park; CJ has unfortunately been persecuted by a French teacher who wouldn't let her take breaks, her landlord for being unwilling to house her guard dog-c*m-ESA service dog, and a policewoman whom she "accidentally bit" while she was protesting the Canadian government's alleged withholding of legal aid. Yet although she does consume considerable resources, she has been trying to give back where she can; she and her fellow Neurodivergent roommate (self-diagnosed) have made the news through their advocacy for greater service animal legal protections, and she's been campaigning to get Canadians to replace 'guys' with 'y'all.

What's next for CJ?

CJ believes that the judge in charge of her case is closing in on a decision. Unfortunately for the people of /r/Quebec, who clearly loathe her at this point, a rejected asylum plea won't likely be the end of the story. CJ's contingency plan is to apply for a "Humanitarian and Compassionate Visa", which, at least according to her, is "a given" after five years in the country. With three years down already and an appeals process to exploit, CJ could be on her way to becoming a proud Canadian citizen!