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Friday night drunk thread

No reason to get drunk tonight. Just came home from errands and my inner alcoholic mindset just said frick it let's drink a fifth of Grey Goose. Anyways, it's a Friday night and still early so I'll likely just end up at a gay bar. Can't wait for sobered up me tod deal with the consequences.

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I CUT MY FRICKING BUTTHOLE OPEN SHAVING IT BECAUSE I WANTED A NICE, PRETTY, PRESENTABLE HOLE. I'M NOT TALKING LIKE A LITTLE BABY PAPERCUT BUT LIKE, DEEP, HEMORRHAGING SQUIRTING GASH AND NOW 10 HOURS LATER I AM LAYING IN BED WITH THE MOST UNIMAGINABLE THROBBING PAIN YOU CAN IMAGINE EMANATING FROM MY BOYPUCCI LIPS EVERY TIME I GIVE IT A LIL SQUEEZE BUT I NEED TO TAKE A MEGA SHIT NOW AND THIS IS LITERALLY WORSE THAN CHILDBIRTH HELP ME PLEASE

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Now playing: Aquaduct Assault (Tropical Freeze).mp3

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