Why I broke up with you, ended things, or just stopped calling (add your own!)
Because you didn't come to the funeral with me, right after you told me “if you need me, I'm there”
Because you asked me if you could watch when I fricked my girlfriend…on our third date.
Because you became visibly angry when I told you we'd be using barriers.
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Because my friends thought you were ugly and it lowered my social standing.
Because you kissed like a giant aggressive slug.
Because when I fricked you from behind and got a whiff of swampass and realised you didn't shower often.
Because you were ill on holiday and ruined it for me.
Because I found someone better.
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