Main story
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckrr5pxjd11o
A week ago, a British teenager got lost in some mountain wilderness on Tenerife. The last thing anyone heard from him was when he spent his last 1% of phone battery to phone his foid and tell her he was lost somewhere and only had 1% battery.
Should have maybe shared location instead instead via text, but we can't all be Einstein's can we?
Anyway, he's dead. We all know it. This isn't the fun part. Facebook detective r-slurs and the are the fun parts.
Facebook Detective R-slurs
I don't need to do an effortpost on this because everything funny is included in this thread:
https://tattle.life/threads/jay-slater-teen-missing-in-tenerife.45714/page-2
But I will share some highlights:
There has been a 7-day search by Tenerifes emergency services. His family are desperate for info. But worth asking. Yeah maybe no one's tried his phone.
Yeah worth a try. I'm sure the search team would appreciate someone's pet Labrador getting involved. Let him sniff some of the lads socks and let him loose on the mountain. It's a good idea and I'm sure the emergency services of Tenerife could use a Labrador with a sensitive nose.
Another good shout. Maybe the hospital treating an unidentified Bong teenager might not have made the connection that it could be the missing Bong teenager on the news.
Lmao a psychic is helping now.
There are also people livestreaming webcam footage hoping to catch a glimpse of him, as well as r-slurs flying out to Tenerife to "help".
Conspiracies
As with all of these missing person cases that capture the imagination of Facebook losers, it doesn't take long for conspiracies to start developing.
Locals refusing to talk about it.
His foid is a drugs mule and it's a drugs deal gone awry.
And by page 4 of the Tattle thread, they have also devolved into conspiracies themselves:
https://tattle.life/threads/jay-slater-teen-missing-in-tenerife.45714/page-4
Plot Twist
This little missing chav was convicted as part of a group of eight for attacking another lad with a machete and an axe:
So maybe all the conspiracies are true ...
Further reading
Another forum thread starts making fun of the Facebookers before getting drawn into the same irresistible trap of conspiracy posting:
https://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?%2Fforums%2Ftopic%2F123647-jay-slater%2F
Lots of threads to pull at courtesy of Twttier:
https://twitter.com/search?q=Jay+Slater
!Britbongs are you keeping abreast of the latest Jay Slater drama?
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I did my part to get to the bottom
of things...
Now I'm fresh
out of ways to make this all about us.
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Google only shows me a butterfly. Impressive how much this AI shit still fricks up easy information lmao
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Lol, this kid's mum's been posting like ‘I just want my little baby back' and he's been having at it with bladed weapons, amazing
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The tard got lost in a tiny butt forest on an island that is barely 40 miles wide
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Same as the r-slur woman who got lost in Hawaii for over a week.
Some people don't even have the brainpower to figure out how to find the coastline on an island.
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how tf u get lost in hawaii
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Yeah but hes definitely on drugs.
And probably dead since a few hours after disappearing. Fell down a cliff while high or something.
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How? I could literally hike that end to end with no food or water.
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Some scammer psychic trying to cash in on the situation is pretty on brand I guess
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Conspiracy theorists are the worst part of any unsolved disappearance/murder. You'd think it was foids obsessed with serial murders but no
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I didn't even know the UK had wilderness considering its the size of Delaware.
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Lmao most educated Burger. Tenerife is a fricking Spanish island near Africa.
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Tbf most Europeans probably don't know much about the Canary Islands either.
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It's a very popular touristic destination for bongs and krauts
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Yeah tbh that kept me away, but i went last winter with the wife beacuse its the only place in europe thats warm in december and honestly its a pretty nice place.
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Dont have twitter
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https://old.reddit.com/r/UnsolvedMurders/comments/1dkiz9g/jay_slater_murder_kidnap/
https://old.reddit.com/r/MissingPersons/comments/1diu0jk/brit_teen_jay_slater_19_missing_in_tenerife_as/
You can search these subreddits for more posts
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i was going to post this thread too.
https://old.reddit.com/r/UnsolvedMysteries/comments/1djjnzg/last_person_to_speak_to_missing_brit_teen_jay/
But thank you
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you can remedy that
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how the frick how the frick do you get lost on a tiny little island just pick a direction and start walking
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I think it was his first holiday, he was drunk, it was the middle of the night and it's really rocky there. There's even a big volcano on the island.
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another great example of BOOZERS ARE LOSERS
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We !boozers can deal just fine with walking in one direction, it's the bong part that killed him
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can you though
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You literally can't walk in one direction how do you think pigs bust you all the time.
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keep yourself safe
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No way they find him if he got lost in the woods there.
The woods there are endless, especially if he somehow wound up along the coastline.
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How does one get lost at a coastline?
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The unhabited coastline where the woods are is massive.
If he wandered aimlessly and wound up there, there's no chance he's getting back on track because the closest road is up on the mountain and the city is very far away to reach without getting lost again due to panic, hunger or whatever.
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You're not the only one whos been to teneriffe, and you have to be an absolute 100% r-slur to get lost anywhere there. Just go downhill until you hit the water and then skirt the coast until you find Playa de Boomer somewhere.
In any case, Lad's dead. He fell down a moutianside and is dead. Teneriffe elevation is steep as frick and the terrain is dangerous even in daylight.
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He's a bong and a tourist, you know what to expect. But I don't think many would get out of there either way.
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One would have to be beyond stupid at survival to die on a coastline
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this is a good joke post
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I feel like I'm watching a 1930s movie with kids insulting each other
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Lol.
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Y'all are going to have toad-in-the-hole on your face when the psychic finds him.....
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This is a great post. I love charv stuff
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Agree to disagree
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This is pretty intense for some UK twink
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