Related Vice article (reads like satire but it's real):
Primary source that I pulled the quotes for this effortpost from:
Abdul Nafi, 25, Logar province, Baraki Barak district, married, father of two, fighter:
I sometimes miss the jihad life for all the good things it had.
In our ministry, there's little work for me to do. Therefore, I spend most of my time on Twitter. We're connected to speedy Wi-Fi and internet. Many mujahedin, including me, are addicted to the internet, especially Twitter.
What I dislike about Kabul is its traffic and what I fear is its thieves. We have never seen this much congestion, and in comparison to Kabuli drivers, we can hardly make our way through the streets.
Kamran, 27, Sayedabad district, Wardak Province, married, father of two, deputy group commander:
I graduated from a government school in Sayedabad and then abandoned any other studies for the sake of jihad at the age of 19.
During the jihad, the fear of drones followed us like a shadow, and the area where we operated was geographically very small in the early years. When travelling along the road to Ghazni city, we frequently attacked the Americans with RPGs, dashakas [DShK, a type of heavy machine gun] and roadside bombs, inflicting dozens of casualties on them. They then came after us in retaliation. Their drones often bombarded our positions. Everywhere we went, went the fear of drones.
I was appointed to a job in the Ministry of Interior. I'm sort of happy with my job but often miss the time of jihad. During that time, every minute of our life was counted as worship.
I'm very concerned about our mujahedin. The real test and challenge was not during the jihad. Rather, it's now. At that time, it was simple, but now things are much more complicated. We are tested by cars, positions, wealth and women. Many of our mujahedin, God forbid, have fallen into these seemingly sweet, but actually bitter traps.
Huzaifa, 24, from Zurmat district of southeastern Paktia province, married and father of two, sniper
In the time of jihad, life was very simple. All we had to deal with was making plans for ta'aruz [attacks] against the enemy and for retreating.
There is another thing I dislike and that's how restricted our lives are now, unlike anything we experienced before. The Taleban used to be free of restrictions, but now we sit in one place, behind a desk and a computer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Life's become so wearisome; you do the same things every day.
I've made friends with three guys who are from our province but have been living here [in Kabul] for more than 15 years. We sometimes go to Qargha, Bagh-e Wahsh [Kabul Zoo], Sarobi and Tapa-ye Wazir Akbar Khan. To be honest, every time I go with them, they pressure me to play and listen to music in the car. At first, I was resisting, but now I have given in, with the one condition that they turn it off when passing through security checkpoints because many other Taleban don't like it, and it's bad for a Taleb to be seen listening to it.
TIL music is haram
Abdul Salam, 26, Dand district of Kandahar province, married, father of three, farmer:
I joined the Taleban when I was 20. The time of jihad was very good for us. It's still difficult not to miss the days of the jihad.
There is a proverb in our area that money is like a shackle. Now, if we complain, or don't come to work, or disobey the rules, they cut our salary.
In Kabul, it's very difficult for us to live. When we sometimes go to Haji mullah sahib's [referring to a senior commander] home, it's a very small place with an inflated rent. Unlike homes in Kandahar, people only have three rooms in a pocket-sized apartment. There is no separate guestroom.
Omar Mansur, 32, Yahyakhel district of Paktika province, married and father of five, head of a group
I haven't brought my family to Kabul. The rent of houses is very high for us since our salary is no more than 15,000 afghanis [roughly 180 USD].
What I don't like about Kabul is its ever-increasing traffic holdups. Last year, it was tolerable but in the last few months, it's become more and more congested. People complain that the Taleban brought poverty, but, looking at this traffic and the large number of people in the bazaars and restaurants, I wonder where that poverty is.
In the group, we had a great degree of freedom about where to go, where to stay, and whether to participate in the war.
However, these days, you have to go to the office before 8 AM and stay there till 4 PM. If you don't go, you're considered absent, and [the wage for] that day is cut from your salary. We're now used to that, but it was especially difficult in the first two or three months.
The other problem in Kabul is that my comrades are now scattered throughout Afghanistan. Those in Kabul, like me, work from 8 AM to 4 PM. So, most of the week, we don't get any time to meet each other.
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!besties this is the funniest collection of quotes I've seen in years
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Remind me to write another effortpost in 5 years when the Taliban discover vaping
Apparently they are already investing in medical marijuana
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