I like to cuddle my pillow when I'm feeling lonely ( ), but lately my pillow just doesn't cut it anymore. I want to hug and cuddle up to an actual living, breathing, human being.

That gave me an idea: what if someone made a pillow that actually "breathes" like a person? Surely I couldn't be the first person to come up with this idea. As it turns out, I'm not! In fact, I found two companies that are selling breathing "pillows", if you're willing to spend anywhere from $200 to $600.

Somnox 2:

The first company I found is the most expensive, called Somnox. This one costs $600 and comes with an app to track your breathing progress (or something, idk, I didn't look hard enough).

This thing really doesn't look like a pillow, it looks more of like an egg. In fact, the website refers to it as a "sleeping robot":

If you want to see the thing in action, here's a video:

Despite it looking like a weird dino egg, I was kind of interested in trying it, until I saw the price. No way I'm paying $600 for a thing that I can't even hug like a real person. NEXT!!

Fulfuly

I did some more searching and found a Japanese company that makes a breathing pillow called Fulfuly (I had no idea how I was supposed to pronounce the name until I found a video of it). This one costs $200 and unlike the Somnox, it actually looks like a pillow(ish) and like something comfortable to cuddle with:

Unlike the Somnox, I'm not actually sure if anyone has bought this thing. I couldn't find any reviews, except for one guy at a tech demo. The funny thing is, the guy at the tech demo visibly struggles to find something good to say about it:

The company that makes this pillow also makes some other unusual products. For example, here's a strange robot plushi called "AMAGAMI HAM HAM". The gimmick is that the robot playfully bites your finger:

Here's a video of a woman using it, who looks way too excited to shove her finger in that sad looking cat :

Another thing they sell is called a "Petit Qoobo" and it's..... I don't even know how to describe it. Just look at it:

This thing wags its tail, depending on how you talk to it. TBH, out of all the things this strange company sells, this one seemed to be the one I'd actually want, just because it's kind of funny. I mean look at this video of a woman using it:

Anyway! Both companies that make "breathing pillows" kind of suck. I'm not wasting my money on those, so it looks like I'm out of luck...

...OR AM I? After I saw the weird "Petit Qoobo" invention, I had another idea. What about a pillow that PURRS?! Surely someone thought of that already?

Purr-low Pillow

As it turns out, yes, someone already thought of this. A company called Purr-Low makes pillows that purr. Sounds cute! But I have to say... the pillows look kind of freaky :

On the one hand, I get what they were going for here. They're trying to make the pillow look like a cat, because duh, it purrs like one! But idk, on the other hand, they somehow make it look some sort of dead alien cat.

I might be tempted to buy this, if for no other reason that it's kind of funny and I think my actual cats would like it. But as for my needs, it doesn't work as a human cuddle substitute. Besides, I have actual real cats to cuddle up with and listen to them purr if I really want to.

IN CONCLUSION:

There is no substitute for a human companion, at least right now. Frankly, these options suck. Maybe one day someone will invent a better pillow, but until then, I will stick with my regular boring pillow.

Feel free to waste your money on one and report back tho!