First I would like to introduce /u/salaamswt, who I must reluctantly admit is the real protagonist of this entire story. This man is a Yemeni from the mean streets of Lackawanna in upstate NY.
Whenever he isn't drinking, puffing on his hookah, posting way too much personal info to Reddit on /r/Islam or /r/boypusssy or cruising for gay s*x in public parks, he is likely searching for poon, which he started to do at the age of 15.
Some fun facts about him:
In case you couldn't tell by his pfp, he is a big fan of Mia Khalifa.
This hamplanet is his girlfriend:
(No longer his actual gf, updated with a different similar fat woman at his request.)
https://old.reddit.com/r/BBWaddict/comments/1ggbw4e/in_the_dunes/
https://old.reddit.com/r/BBWaddict/comments/1ggcjr9/some_more_poses/
A funny thread about Jordanians concerned for the poor camel he plans to take her for a ride on.
He is an absolute Chad that smokes pot while driving.
Some of his other best hits:
Quantum physics is Haram because of all the Jews in it.
He makes beggars recite the Shahada.
Suggesting payday loans to other Muslims.
Literally pooping on his grandma. 
He possibly convinced that same grandma to vote for Trump. 
Now let's introduce /r/neoconnwo. Basically, it's a sub for rightoids exiled by the /r/neoliberal 
jannies. It is quite rdrama-adjacent and used to be even more. We have quite a few users here from it such as @BushWasRight,
@CitroAbsinthe,
@johannesalthusius and myself.
For some it is just a mildly rightoid shitposting sub. The jannies actively encourage racism, as long as it's under the gigajannie radar. Unfortunately, in greater and greater amounts it is filling up with overly serious third worlders who think that the discussion thread is a place for them to discuss high school admissions, chronicle their dating lives (except you /u/Thadlust, you're funny when you do it), post their treatises on world politics or discuss how to fix the Republican party to a semi-public audience of about 20 people on a good day. This latter group also has an incredibly distorted idea of baiting, which they call "bullying". This consists of unironically arguing with lib tourists on the sub to the applause and backpatting of their 15 internet friends.
You might think that such an erudite and intelligent group of bullies would have no problem dealing with a Yemeni that has pot-fried his brain so hard that about a third of his words are neighbor but you would be surprised.
It begins with him absolutely dominating bants with the victories of the glorious warriors of Islam. but quickly escalates as he lifts the veil of the sub and peers into the very SOVL of its users.
who r U? u really think this subreddit some kinda secret club? u all losers jerkin each other off pretendin you got a VIP pass to the club when all u doin is sittin on ur fat asses
My brother in Yakob you are arguing with a thirteen year old troll
I know. I like bullying, literally meaning
"i like making catty comments on a random subreddit that barely gets any traffic and pretending I'm a kewl mean girl" go show these screenshots to your grandma u corny butt neighbor itll be the only time she'll ever be proud of u
Which is such an own that it gets more upmarseyd than the local who pretends not to see it to spare himself the shame of having to attempt to respond.
lol ur comment history is just words n more words n huffing ur own farts. U ain't as smart as u think u r
ching chong ding dong long wang flung dung eggs won ton chicken fried rice. n give me a fortune cookie too
LaserAlpaca desperately tries to recover from his humiliation:
Please never ban salaamswf (other guy)
from my understanding of experimenting with him. You can trigger him by saying bad things to Arabs. Mom attack works ok not too sure how efficient it is.
Sadly here is Reddit, many things I cannot say or I can show you true insulting techniques from China.
u "troll" like a 13 year old who saw a rage face on knowyourmeme for the first time
I mean I have to go to your level to fight you right?
fight me? neighbor u postin comments on reddit
I don't think you can say that word
neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor
Anyways, his entire comment history, especially on /r/neoconNWO is just gold.
Enjoy a bonus thread of him, featuring trains.
Btw in case you were wondering where the material for all these truthnukes comes from, Yemeni scientists are hard at work enriching copper.
Anyways, /u/salaamswt is a fun guy, hope we can entice him to come here.
If you're seeing this from crosstalk pm bot salaamswt, I'm KamalaFanBoy. 
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posting his fat frick gf
@X stand with israel
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yo FRICK u take that fricking down u PEEPEESUCKER u said u'd delete it n now u post 2 pics of my gf???? im gonna beat the FRICK outta u, u ain't ever gonna be safe again. u ever step foot in lackawanna i have cousins n uncles whod take care of u real good you fricking MOTHER FRICKER
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he's a chink-singaporean. use chinese racial slurs to get under his skin
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lol he singaporeans? just a matter of time before its destroyed by malaysia n becomes part of the ummah, like israel. tiny butt island aint got no way to defend itself, livin on borrowed time
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@X stand with Israel
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this is so much better than calling him a chink
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If true then the Unmah should apologize to both Israel and Singapore
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No they don't
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But Israel will exist forever?
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On this website we only meet up for fights in spokane
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Dude what is up with spokane, every rslur I've met online lives there
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!metashit
@X stand with israel
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Why u wanna punch everyone today
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even the most disgusting
smelly 
unwashed coomer 
wouldnt call those AI images "my gf", he'd proudly admit that it was AI generated 
and he would 
mock 
@X for believing that they were real
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He did?
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how do you cute twinks not realise that this is AI???
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just playing along with the larp dont get you're panties in a bunch
@X stand with israel
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Oh so you'll play along with the larp of a 80iq dramatard
acting like an r-slur, yet you hate transwomen? how hypocritical
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deal with it
@X stand with israel
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This is like when they build the fake town for all those old fricks with dementia
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That's not cool bro, I told
@BuffaloBills97 I'd delete it. :(
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i saw your comment in the neocon subreddit that's why i went and grabbed the fatty's pics before he y'alled it
@X stand with israel
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thats my GOAT
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Wait what comment?
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@X stand with israel
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It was all already saved by snappy lol.
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So you tricked him?
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No? I honoured our deal.
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Oh ok lol
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Why?
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Wait if those are ai where are the real pics
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On the one hand, it's terrible to post people's real pics when you know they dont want you to and they havent done anything to you. On the other, I have no principles and was really curious after reading the OP so thanks Chibs!
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The pics looked too fake and AI generated and @X think he's just trolling lol
@X stand with Israel
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Are those not AI?
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this looks like AI. What's a fatty gonna do in the desert anyways, I thought they all have overheating problems
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