I(27F) screamed at my husband (28M) over his hobbies, and now he's changed and i don't know how to fix this.
Hey everyone, I need some advice about a situation with my husband. I'm 27F, he's 28M, and we've been married for 4 years. He has a room where he keeps all his hobbies—sim racing, aviation setups, soccer analysis cowtools, LEGO sets, music production equipment… basically, it's his sanctuary. He's super analytical and loves writing down and dissecting things, from sports to politics. He's slightly on the spectrum and very introverted, so he doesn't have close friends. I'm really the only person he shares everything with.
He's always inviting me into his space to be part of his interests. I love him and appreciate that he wants to include me, but sometimes I just need some time for myself. Recently, I snapped. I yelled at him, saying some hurtful things that I didn't mean, like how his interests bore me, that he needs to get a social life, and even questioned why I married him. I regret every word, but my anger got the best of me, and I couldn't control it in that moment.
Since then, he's completely changed. He stopped spending time in his room, moved to sleeping on the couch, and barely talks to me. He even ignored our usual tradition of watching our home nation's soccer team play, something he'd never skip before. Instead, he was working on his laptop, breaking our "no work at home" rule. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't care about the game and mentioned that maybe he should be more like his father, who's a workaholic and whom my husband idolizes. He even added, "I don't blame him for divorcing at that age now."
I've apologized multiple times, but he just says, "It's okay, maybe you're right," and shuts down any attempts I make to talk about his interests. I'm terrified he's considering divorce. I know I messed up, but I don't know how to rebuild trust and help him feel valued and loved again. I don't want to lose him, but I'm unsure how to approach this and make amends. Any advice?
TL;DR: I criticized my husband's hobbies, and now he's pulling away. I've apologized, but I'm worried he might be considering divorce—how do I make things right?
She has likely ruined this man's life and made his social anxiety even worse lol.
She basically confirmed the worst fears of every neurodivergent person straight to his face and he'll likely hyper fixate on what she said for years, while the things which gave him joy remind him of how much the world hates him.
Luckily most of the comments are btfoing OP.
How it feels reading women's posts on reddit:
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
If he gave her a good slap, she'd unironically respect him more and it might even save the marriage.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Slapping hysterical women was very normalized until just very recently.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
What's this from?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
keep yourself safe for not recognizing Leslie Nielsen
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
The movie Airplane!
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
even reagan and Sean Connery did it
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
And things have only gone downhill since we stopped
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Kino
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
I keep telling my wife this and I think she's coming around. Last time I said it she asked if men should be slapped too and I said undoubtably and she has yet to come back with a rebuttal
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Maybe she's afraid to
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
It's working
White extinction is long overdue
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
It's working
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context