!incels this longpost is for you brocels, also will someone ping soyteens for me?

Dungeons & Dragons: The Xueen's Cradle

To start, you should know that I have never played D&D nor will I ever waste my time playing D&D. It might be fun with the right group of people, but the only groups you can find as a single neurodivergent smell like butt and are full of r-slurs so annoying being around them has been classified as psychological warfare in Geneva. Did I mention s yet? They tend to conglomerate there too. So for me, this is just generic fantasy story set in generic fantasy setting and that about sums it up. Its very generic. To summarize the plot, a party of adventurers find a boy that is supposed to act as a sacrifice for evil dragon so they try to save him by bringing him to good dragon. The voice acting is eh, the story predictable and the character design

Yeah...

Besides that you have George Dwarf, Imane Khalif the Paladin and Druid who is a Druid. Would I recommend it? Not unless you are some huge D&D fan, also the ending is abrupt and very anticlimactic.

Ching Chong: It Takes a Life

So apparently Sifu is some Chinese beatemup? Probably only made it in to get ChingChong bux, fricking Bezos mang. To summarize, guy takes his revenge on Chinese mafia for murdering his father and uses a secret power to do it. Would I recommend it? Yeah if you have 8 minutes to spare its a nice watch, not a lot of talking just action with good choreography. What dialogue there is tends to be a little cringe (talking about the Granny Marvel quipping) but can be easily ignored.

Amazon shilling: The Once and Future BWC King

Appareantly this is some Amazon studio game no one cares about, but hear me out: this is absolute kino featuring Germanic BVLL Arnold BlackBIPOCs playing himself (again) and being great (as expected). Gigachad and his servant end up stranded on an island where everyone is immortal and nothing can permanently damage you and in an attempt to conquer it, Arnold challenges the local king and learns an important lesson about friendship (no really).

Definitely recommend this one, fun story you need zero context for. Also he definitely fricked the Babylonian tomboy and she is 100% built for BWC.

Unreal Tournament: Xan

I never played Unreal but after watching the episode I want to give it a try. Though the plot is again very predictable, this time it makes it up by delivering in the tournament department. Robots are mistreated (like g*mers and incels) so they rise the frick up and rebel against POC women in charge of gaming, just like in real life! This leads to them ending up as gladiators in the aforementioned tournament. If you are a nostalgiastrag, give it a try, if not, still give it a try. The bot is a cool character!

hammer 40,000: And They/Them Shall Know No Fear

KINO ALERT KINO ALERT KINO ALERT KINO ALERT KINO ALERT

TOTAL XENOS DEATH, TOTAL GAY BUTT R*PE DEMON DEATH, TOTAL TRAITOR DEATH

If you played Space Marine or have any interest in Warhammer 40k you should know who Captain Tinitus, lieutenant of the second company of the Ultramarine Chapter of the God-Emperors Angels of death AKA the fricking Astartes is. Besides serving as backstory for Titus who now has a old BIPOCsmurf as a mentor, its probably also a teaser for the up and coming Warhammer TV show in cooperation with the Amazon jew. If this is the standart they are going to maintain for the show I am all for it. To tldr the plot, gay heck demons do gay heresy shit so the Ultramarines have to clean it up because they are the Emperors finest. That's all you need to know, the rest is just Traitor-Ackening and TDD.

PAC-MAN: Circle

The entire premis of the episode relies on you expecting PacMan, but turns out there is a twist! So go watch it for yourself. Its a shorter episode and its alright.

Crossfire: Good Conflict

More Asiaslop no one in the west cares about, CSGO but gay and we aren't even talking about Valorant and thats all you need to know about Crossfire. Frick that gookshit, at least it has a decent snowbunny

!2dgooners bvilt for the most BIPOClicious vantablack mandingo nigerian BBCs etc. etc.

Armored Core: Keanu Chungus

Did any of you neurodivergents ever touch an AC game? I never did, but just like in Unreals case I kinda want to try it out now. This was besides the 40k episode the most anticipated one of part 1. I have no idea if it actually lived up to the hype, what I do know is that every time Keanu gets involved in a video game script they frick him over lmao. Yeah the writing could definetly be a lot better, but the action scenes are cool I guess. Schizo mecha mercanary actually doesn't refuse to pilot the mecha and goes apeshit on his targets. If you like Mecha and Chungus Reeves, go for it.

To summarize part 1 of Secret Levels

Its like a mediocre season of Love Death Robots. The shilling definetly cucked the writers in terms of creativity. The only thing that can salvage this series is coming soon...

POOPING ON CONCORDS GRAVE ONE LAST TIME FOR CHRISTMAS