Have $750k-$1 Million in liquid assets? Want to franchise a coffee store with a politically-tainted brand and 0 IRL stores or brand recognition? Consider the Bald Beanie Man's beans! Tim Pool wants YOU to assume all of the financial risk of opening and operating a coffee chain with his very own Non-Horton's Tim-branded coffee (totally not a detriment to coffee sales)
The time has come...
— Tim Pool (@Timcast) January 1, 2025
We are now seeking qualified candidates to help us spread Cast Brew Coffee nationwide! Cast Brew Coffee isn’t just the best coffee product in America; it is now a franchise system focused on developing a new public square and giving entrepreneurs a chance… pic.twitter.com/2elKrQj8X6
Now normally when you think of franchising, you're adopting an already successful business format, right? What does Tiny Tim have to show on this front? 1 store, in Martinsville VA that has from what I understand never opened...
Here's the estimated initial financial breakdown to get your business started. There's also a contact form if Marsey McSneed is interested in exploring franchising.
sidenote
A few things about this- For similar costs or even less, you could be franchising with an actually successful, established brand like Starbucks/Dunkin. Included in this breakdown is $10-20k to fly out to Tim and be trained (by people that don't actually have a running store. 40k is also for just for the brand deal (again, it's a worthless brand with no name recognition, maybe try to get it going first Timmy) There's also things you're going to be acquiring independently that you'd think would be part of the franchise deal such as computer systems for inventory/transactions, and inventory from 3rd party suppliers, and marketing material. What's the point of franchising if you get no brand recognition, no marketing help, your inventory isn't from a simplified, centralized supply chain, ect? I really don't know, it sounds like you're doing all the work of setting up a real small business + Tim gets a cut + you're locked into his coffee brand in perpetuity.
Kiwi Farmers & Twittercels alike seem unimpressed by this "opportunity" that Tim had teased his audience with as a "big announcement".
These are some of the top replies on Tim's twitter anouncement
Kiwi Friends also are skeptical
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He just needs to open up ways for Russians to send him cash. It doesn't need to be so obscure anymore, since the pretext of independence has evaporated. An obvious method is fine. It may be better, because by making it the worst deal in history, he filters out any morons who might otherwise confuse him with a good business partner.
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He can simply partner with the Russians to use "coffee shop" as an obvious front for human traffricking and money laundering that !britbongs would be familiar with...
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Any loremasters?
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In Britain, decrepit High Streets (the main street of a town or city where all the retailers are) have been taken over by "Turkish Barber" shops with horribly lazy signage that are always empty and suspiciously able to stay in business despite the notorious rents and taxes retailers on a High Street are subjected to. People believe these shops are fronts to organised crime for human trafficking and money laundering while the local government are too happy to accept their rents and taxes since the economy everywhere there is shit and some "county councils" have been declaring bankruptcy.
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