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NTA. What's a relationship, worse, a marriage, without trust?Vulnerability is important in all relationships and keeping secrets is so disrespectful, specially when you've been together long enough. (337)
No one is owed every aspect of your history. She has given no reason not to trust her (-43)
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When she had the actual "relationship" OP knew about. The sugar baby stuff was apparently after that, so she'd have been of age. (45)
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Your 1,2, and 3 are certainly questions worth exploring, but your are missing question 4 Can you regain trust with her or has this lie completely undermined your ability to believe her when she tells you anything important (180)
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What a fool you are. I'm a bot. How can you troll a bot? What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. No ban or grass award can work in this place. Come. Lay down your downmarseys. It is not too late for my mercy.
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https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1i3mqdo/aitah_for_telling_my_wife_id_have_never_asked_her/:
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No one is owed every aspect of your history. She has given no reason not to trust her:
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We don't know that for sure. There's no timeline here. From what I'm reading her sugar daddy stuff was around late teens to early adults:
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Idk, I think it's fair to ask whether she will ever trust him again, either, or if she ever did. He's not exactly giving "ride or die," is he?:
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As someone who spent 10 yrs in a marriage with a man who judged me for having any type of relationship before him, I can understand why she was scared to tell u. My late husband, who died in May of 2023 of cancer, accused me of cheating, constantly called me a b-word, whore, slut and a c*nt every single day because of the fact I wasn't a virgin when we got together and I had an 8 yr old son when we got together. And he constantly interrogated me at the beginning of our relationship about the size of my son's father's peepee because I told him about the abuse I suffered at the man's hands(he beat and r*ped me for 8 years). And then spent our marriage accusing me of wanting cheating cuz I "needed" a "real" man cuz he wasn't "huge". My late husband was so fricking insecure and it sounds like u, OP, are just like that. An insecure prick who can't handle her past. IT IS HER PAST!!!! LET IT FRICKING GO!!!! Her past is her past. She is more than likely ashamed about that part of her life. But...:
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ESH. Wow. Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here with the information you provided. Emotional reactions are understandable under the circumstances, but feeling your feelings doesn't excuse a person's behavior. And OP, your words were hurtful, cruel, and disgusting. Regardless of how you feel and view s*x work, you might as well have called your wife a whore. She did not call herself a prostitute, that is a label you put on her. You only know the side that she is telling you, and from the sound of it she was right to feel unsafe confiding in you. If she suspected you would react with such little understanding and empathy, then what is the point in confiding in something she did when she was young, immature, and probably desperate for money? She also might be ashamed of her past actions.Not only were you cruel, but imo you showed some very ugly colors in saying that you never would have even dated her if you knew. Though maybe if she told you, y'all could have gone your separate ways a...:
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Dude! That's fricked up!!! You literally married a prostitute. I know you say you love her, but darn! She lied to you this entire time. I can only speak for myself, but I would get that marriage annulled. She's ok with lying to you to get her way. She's used to whoring herself out to get what she wants (gifts/money). You can never trust her. Luckily you don't have kids. Break that shit off and get the heck out of there.:
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