Hello my fellow Mobians it is I Elias Acorn, King of the house of Acorn with fresh intel from Robtoniks Robotropolis. The dastardly Robotonik forces his overlander subjects to eat nothing but liquid soy feed in order to save money for his cruel schemes, but it seems his Soylent factories are starting to run out. One over lander notices:
Shortages, discounts at supermarkets, no refunds, service delays. Is this it?
To which this astute Overlander noticed:
When I posted my concerns about their financial health 3 months ago, soylent_team replied saying:
We promise we aren't going anywhere. There have been some bumps this year, but hang on with us, we promise we are here to stay! [1]
In August, their CEO said:
We have integrated and created efficiencies through our shared service platform for our brands over the course of 2023 and 2024 allowing the Company to now experience tremendous retail expansion, topline growth and higher margins. [...] If you look at any of our portfolio companies we are winning because we have extremely unique products and brands with defensive moats and scaling distribution [2]
However, their accountants sounded less upbeat when they wrote in a recent filing:
substantial doubt exists related to the Company's ability to meet its obligations as they become due within one year [3]
[1] https://old.reddit.com/r/soylent/comments/1fq0sju/comment/lp3iwpu/?context=8
[3] See "NOTE 2 – GOING CONCERN" here.
This overlander wonders how Doctor Robtonik's mean bean soylent machine could have ever run into problems:
Im sure eating nothing but soy feed and motor oil is nutritious
This sad overlander is so dependent on the soy feed he is now unable to eat normal food:
While Robtonik serves other forms of gruel to his subjects it seems they are somehow even worse then the dreeded soylent
This is why in the Kingdom of Knothole we only eat the finest real foods like Uncle Chuck's chili dogs rather then this technological abomination. Source Speed Freedom Fighters may you win in your quest to free these poor souls
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I still snicker
every time I see this
white extinction is long overdue
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I didn't even know Soylent was an actual product for two years lol. I thought it was some 4Chan meme.
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This is like that time in DS9 when they destroyed the ketracel white factory!!!
!trekkies
Who could have guessed that trying to elbow away shelf space in the supermarket from way bigger companies wouldn't work? They're pulling in tens of billions of dollars/yr because they're actually really good at all that business stuff in a market where the profit margins are pretty narrow.
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i'm not sure why they chose to expand into retail like that? didn't they have a good thing going doing direct to customer sales? who goes to a gas station and casually buys one soylent?
even though people make fun of them, they had a strong brand recognition.
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Redditors. But apparently that wasn't a big enough market.
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The meme killed them
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They're named after a fictional mass produced slop food made out of ground up human bodies. Their product being disgusting and ingested semi-ironically is baked into the business model
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that's more a funny thing to share about the product rather than your customers themselves becoming a byword for cuckhold
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Wtf I thought Soylent is just a brand name for soy milk all these years? Didn't expect it is some kind of meal replacement with deep lore
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"Soylent Green" is a 70's dystopian sci-fi movie about overpopulation and environmental destruction. With most land unarable and most animals dead, the working class subsists largely on artificial nutritional slop called Soylent. The famous twist is that the ruling elite recycle human corpses to make it.
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I'm so sad, I can't find anything after searching for pictures of the 2016 and 2017 soylent promotional booths at SXSW in Austin, but during the gaming part of the convention they had bombshell babes in hooters outfits handing out soylent samples from hors d'oeuvres platters. I can't explain to you how entertaining it was watching literal playboy bunnies sedate a gaggle of fat furries with bill gates goyslop juice while a chorus of nerds chant "hyperx! hyperx!" in the background.
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In hindsight that whole era of SXSW feels like an extended fever dream
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zoz
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zle
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zozzle
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Always wanted to try Soylent but never did
I use HelloFresh tho that shits amazing twice a week. Better than take out
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The coffee one was acceptable workday breakfast slop, caffeinated you and held you off until lunch
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!metashit look at the replies rdrama is literally filled with soy drinkers
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Hollywood made a movie about what's happening now. They even got Sophia Loren to be in it. It's called The Soyest Day.
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Soy hate is seed oil spergery but for people that look as bad as hippies smell
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It's really shocking but somehow entirely expected
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it explains
ironicrsluration hereJump in the discussion.
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Hahahahahahahaha How The Frick Is HelloFresh Real Hahahaha Neighbor
Just Buy Some Vegetables
Like Neighbor
The Produce Aisle Haha
white extinction is long overdue
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I thought it dumb before I dated this girl who did it. They have about 30 recipes a week and every one I've chosen has be A or B tier. Usually Asian or Spanish stuff I wouldn't know how to make half as good. Plus There's no way I'm spending an hour in the grocery store hunting down the 20 different ingredients per meal then spending an hour figuring out the recipe and portions. I don't mind paying extra, I rarely get Uber eats since I subbed and definitely spent more on that before
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Can't you just sub once, look at the recipes and then just buy the groceries yourself?
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I basically only go to the grocery store for 20min each week for milk and shit instead of 1hr and that's worth it IMO. Grocery stores are for poor people
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You are r-slurred if you think any normal meal requires 20 specialty ingredients.
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I'm still unironically on the Gorilla Chow diet.
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how are the gains
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Been too busy with law school to really try to gun past my plateaus, but still comfortably benching 3 plates and am !verifiedhot.
Financial gains are still sweet though. No need to pay for goyslop.
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I tried it once and it fricking sucked. Not filling at all. I just wanted to eat proper food after
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I kind of make my own breakfast slop with oats, protein powder, frozen red fruit and oat malk in a blender.
Prep the night before and I can get it out of the fridge when I wake up and drink it while I poop.
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It'll really suck if they are going under. I always found it tasted better than the other "meal replacements" and was really useful managing weight.
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Keto Chow tastes pretty great if you don't mind artificial sweeteners
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I tried jimmyjoy, it's actually pretty nice. Tastes good, save time on food, and its not expensive.
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You can have this soy food.![:marseyjcdenton#: :marseyjcdenton#:](https://i.rdrama.net/e/marseyjcdenton.webp)
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No...Not yet.
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Didn't Soylent have contamination issues recently that's probably why there's a shortage
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Everyone in this post except for me needs to be put on a chain gang.
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Isn't liquid food going to be significantly heavier?
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Save us Uncle Ted.
Snapshots:
https://old.reddit.com/r/soylent/comments/1hwcxbr/is_soylent_going_under/:
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https://investors.starcobrands.com/press-releases/detail/93/starco-brands-announces-insider-stock-buy-back-plan-and:
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Remember the "i drink it because real milk hurts my tummy" comic
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It's actually so funny how they could probably just rebrand and stay afloat just because they're no longer the fricking soyboy company.
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