Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wyfzJTYu7ER34xCSLjETM1YCgBYCm-AvVsCQjuxVsk4/edit
Here comes the critique:
The year is 2001, when being gay isn't really normally accepted
The grown adults on Reddit, when given a chance to critique the writing of a literal child, somehow make it worse
Not that there's not anything to critique, check out the opening line:
I looked out at my window from the bus to Stars Hollow, Connecticut, and then checked my watch. The time was 1:45 p.m., but I really didn't know what time it was because my clock hadn't adjusted to the time zone yet. It's about an hour until I reach Stars Hollow.
"The time was 13:45:32 on the dot, but actually I didn't know what time it was because my (analog) watch hadn't adjusted to the time zone yet"
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
How do they think we won all those medals in men's figure skating?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
I wish, we'd have far less problems now if we had.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
We were so naive back then. I, like pretty much everypony at the time, didn't really give a shit, and figured why not let them get married, who cares? But the age of innocence is over and trans lives matter now
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context