Boarding a plane, trying to get home from vacation. It's already 11, I'm not gonna get home until 1 am. I'm like the last person to board. Suddenly people are yelling for a medic down the tunnel. I instantly know I am fricked. I just spent 5 days in Dutch harbor because a fricking eagle got sucked into a plane turbine and then weather rolled in. I am sick to death of fricking airports.
Police and ambulances show up outside. I go to the bar and start talking to some really drunk dude. Eventually more people from the flight shows up and the drunk guy asks what the heck happened and this dude is like "bro I don't want to talk. She died in my arms." He's being all intense and weird about it because apparently he's never seen someone die before.
I guess they somehow had an allergic reaction in a fricking airplane, God knows why. What pisses me off is if they had died ten minutes earlier I would be flying home. Or ten minutes later we would be in the air and I would be on my way there.
Now I'm not going to get home until 6 fricking AM, and my sleep schedule which I just fixed is completely destroyed.
Why the frick do people have to be so god darn inconvenient when they die? What a b-word.
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Sorry sweaty but there's a lot of red flags here.
1. It's already 11, I'm not gonna get home until 1 am.
Yea that's what happens when you red eye flights.
2. I'm like the last person to board.
Not in business (or American "first class"
)?
Poor.
3. I guess they somehow had an allergic reaction in a fricking airplane
If you have a nut allergy you can unironically die if someone opens up a bag of nuts in the plane.
You're poor so you kinda deserve this.
I'm in the Lufthansa business lounge atm drinking Champagne.
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This is the fakest of fake news spread by Big Hypochondria
and you're an r-slur for believing it
Addendum: if you could really die from some kid at the other end of the lunch table's pbj sandwich, you don't deserve to live neighbor
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You're right sweaty. You got me.
Hope you feel better about being poor.
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Please get some new material. Nobody is jealous that you're rich since you're also r-slurred.
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I want to be the scientist who blows crushed peanuts powder into kids faces and records how fat their face gets. I don't even need to get paid, I'll do it for free.
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But I want it to be true tho.
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Why the frick would you want to board the plane early? Once you board the plane you are trapped there. I always board last obviously no matter where i am sitting so i can spend as little time as possible in those shitholes. And apparently also so that i dont have to witness some b-word choking to death all gross like.
If you can die from someone opening a bag of nuts near you i cannot fathom how they survived gradeschool.
The worst part is apparently nowhere i the airport sells alcohol past FRICKING 11:30. Completely insane. Time doesnt matter in an airport there is no reason not to be open until 2. I even went to the fricking qdoba because i heard they might have margaritas
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Because I get served champagne and a warm face towel.
Oh wait Burger airlines don't do that.
Lol Burgers deserve everything they get. It's 8 AM and we've got two beers on tap in the business lounge.
God I wish Muslims would take over America so we could at least fly domestically with Qatar or Emirates.
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Omfg i didnt catch that you arent an american... lmfao dude you are literally subhuman nobody cares. God i hope ww3 comes so we can glass your butt wherever you are
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I am an American.
I just am rich enough to have properties outside the USA that I reside in throughout the year.
Sorry you're too poor to know any better.
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And yet you still post here loser
Ive already practically vacated the internet because i have better shit to do. If i was rich af i wouldnt spend one second posting on dumb forums id be too busy doing dope shit. I pretty much am anyways.
Whats your disfunction? No riz? Got the 'tism?
99% your larping but the other 1% your some lame techy dork who couldnt figure out how to have real fun with all the money in the world
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Sure you have sweaty.
Keep posting while I sip away.
Oh wait my plane is boarding! Bye bb.
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Lufthansa also sucks, their little whiny baby strike a while back ruined a lovely vacation for me
Death to airlines
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Good. I love when people cry about workers exercising their rights.
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Workers only have one right, doing their job without inconveniencing me.
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I hope the workers all die at the hotfacetowel factory
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Business class absolutely gets served a welcome beverage here, with alcohol as an option. If you aren't, it's a sign your cabin crew doesn't have its shit together and is cutting corners. Where are your cabin crews based out of?
I have only gotten a face towel on international business for U.S. airlines, though.
We should, however, talk about how Lufthansa business class is just economy seating with the middle seat not used (not a great pic, but this is it):
Same here in California. Do you not understand that states have different laws?
Wait, you think their domestic flight products approach the quality of their international products?
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That's Lufthansa City for a short haul flight between London and Frankfurt.
I'm talking Business Class where you can lay down and sleep.
I went to CA twice in my life (both times for Blizzcon) and will never go back.
So no, don't care.
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The seats are fine, but the espresso sucks on Lufthansa A380 international business. Kinda cool being on the upper deck though. Feels like old-school 747 configurations.
Okay. You're the one who complained about your state's nanny laws on booze.
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America has nanny laws on booze as a whole (PA being the worst).
In Germany I can walk around anywhere at anytime with an open container of alcohol.
Stop trying to make it out to be better than it is.
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Sorry, can't hear you over the music here in New Orleans as I carry around my drink anywhere I want. Also, San Francisco has open container areas now. Have fun in your failing German economy, I guess. I hope your weed shops stop being shit.
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Two cities
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Business lounges are the biggest scam in the world. Why spend $10 on a sandwich and go to a quiet part of the airport when you can instead go to a lounge for free that has free booze, yes, but also a shitty buffet with no decent food and has probably been sneezed on by children, no decent seating because everyone and their kids are rammed in there, and smells. The credit card bonus menace has ruined them.
Only good part about business lounges are the showers during layovers after a long or ultra-long haul flight, that is heavenly.
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You're describing American business lounges sweaty. And when you fly business everything (including the lounge) is included.
Have you ever been in Lufthansa, Qatar or Emirates lounges? No.
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My main flight is from Japan to Ireland, and Japanese airports are great such that lounges just aren't a meaningful upgrade, and Dublin's lounges are worse than a quiet corner. Emirates' lounge is fine and where I usually get a shower. Never bothered with the massages though.
Making a big deal over airport lounges is conspicuous consumer who leaves stickers on hats behavior.
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Maybe pick better places to fly from/to.
Skill issue sweaty.
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Still issue?
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There's a difference between business lounges that you can only get in with airline status and the pay-to-enter buffets.
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Wtf I've only been to a few of the private airline lounges but they always have had good seating, better than literally anything in the public side of the airport.
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And, probably downing sack after sack of sumptuous, warm nuts.
You might want to eat something before your flight, too.
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Sweaty I've got a three course meal coming up on the flight.
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People with nut allergies are evolutionary failures, and don't deserve to live.
F A C T
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Flying first is great because you can just hang out in the lounge and walk on right at the end without needing to care about bag space. I only bother to use early boarding if I'm flying premium economy.
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I always like watching the poors walk by side eyeing you with envy.
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I always wear an N95 until they are done boarding because they smell and poverty is probably contagious
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i think you can only ironically die if you have a peanut allergy and someone opens a bag
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I prefer women that don't die
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Why? Dying is like the only good thing w*men do
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Borpa I'm beginning to have suspicions that you might have some slight negative feelings towards women.
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Interesting, I will have to do some deep soul searching to confirm this
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We serve food here sir
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Some people are just so inconsiderate
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I got on a cross-Pacific flight incredibly hungover, and was looking forward to some sleep, when the guy next to me had a fricking siezure.
He was inspected by a doctor who happened to be on the plane, who determined it was likely caused by medication the passenger had taken for anxiety, and so the flight didn't need to turn around.
I on the other hand was instructed to keep an eye on the fricker, so instead of sleeping off my hangover, I got to nervously watch the butthole dream deep peaceful benzo dreams.
I'm still pissed off about that....
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u realize its the usa he can't tell u to do shit ur a punk for allowing another grown man to tell u what to do.
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I have a little something called "basic human decency". You should try it.......
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don't say the word decency ever again, i know what u be doing (jacking off) and its disgusting
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u be javking off bro admit it
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I WAS CHANGIN', MAHFACKA!!!!
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YTA also lmao being asked to keep an eye on a stranger to make sure they don't die, like what are the air jannies there for?
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Nah they'd declare an emergency and turn right around
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Its a 45 minute flight odds are theyd just go
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I can absolutely be sure you're wrong. People know they can act out over a death and passengers would dig in for emotional distress gibs over having to spend an hour on a flight with a corpse.
Your attitude, which I and the overwhelming majority of people would share, would be booed down for being heartless and insensitive.
Everything about death, funerals, memorials, obituaries is totally performative and meanwhile we all know, deep down, the way that morgues operate but we bury that information and pretend we never saw it.
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Lovecraft had a very funny short story about that: https://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/iv.aspx
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They would 100% divert to some regional shithole airport in the middle of the route and strand you there sorry
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You should've told the man to play Tetris.
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Oh dear, you're obviously shook behind your pretend facade of callousness.
You should play some tetris, my man. Tetris helps to deal with PTSD.
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Scrote gets gockbandoned; immediately joins the !boozers pinggroup
!moidmoment !sigmastacies better TOTES DEAD than to be with a DRUNK SCROTE. PERIODT. 
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Before I can decide if I care or not, was the foid hot?
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Five day in Dutch harbor ?
Once you've gotten blackout drunk at the Elbow Room, there's not much else to do in that town.
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Yeah it was shit. I'd been at sea for like 3 months too and very much wanted to get home. Basically just got drunk at the norwegian rat for 5 days
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What a selfish woman. I absolutely agree with everything you said. You go, king!
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frick I'm gonna be the last dramatard to make it to alaksa at this rate
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Im the og alaaka dramatard
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Didn't you already post this
What kind of financial fraud did you commit?
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Honestly, I don't get why people have to be inconvenienced by this. In a functional society, you could keep things running, just throw the corpse out and have pros deal with it. What's so important about a dead person that must be handled on the airplaine instead of on the runway?
Same with people who keep themselves safe on train tracks. just chug the body aside and move along, the train can be cleaned at night after the people got to their destination.
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Dutch Harbor, AK? That dead body was medivacced to Anchorage probaby faster than your existing flight
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Lol no this one was a vacation, the dutch harbor flight catastrophe was home from work a month ago. In dutch they probably would have just thrown it into the ocean
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That makes sense. Who tf would go on vacation in Dutch harbor
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