hey rdrama. it’s time for a new hobby!

It’s your local schizo-ornithologist, TED_SIMP, and i’m here to tell you why you should all try BIRDWATCHING.

“what the frick?” you might ask, clacking away on r/loveforlandlords and r/antihatecommunities, “that sounds fricking r-slurred. i hate TED_SIMP!” that’s fair. but Hear Me Out.

did your doctor tell you you need to lose that extra 300 lbs? birding will get you some exercise!

want to spy on your hot stacy neighbor without actually being a creep? just say you’re birdwatching!

want to be the biggest nerd in your friend group, AND the biggest neurodivergent? check!

birding is one of the cheapest hobbies out there. if you want equipment, all you need is binoculars and a camera. maybe some audio recording if you’re REALLY into it. bug spray might help. all these bitches complain about being bored. you dumb frick, there’s birds RIGHT outside your window. there’s a lot of good apps for it too. ebird shows you hotspots where all the cool birds are found, so it does all the work for you. merlin bird ID gives you a quiz to id what you saw, and birdNET analyzes all those random screeches you hear at three am and you just want some goddarn sleep.

i took ornithology last spring. i thought the bird walks were going to be r-slurred. we ALL did. but minutes into our first walk, even the most bored of us all were really getting into it. i love getting high, im an idiot who needs instant dopamine. finding a new species is a weirdly good dopamine booster. the community is super wholesome too, newbies welcome.

and once you get into it, you can see some pretty cool things. ravens play fetch with each other. killdeer fake broken wings when you get too close to their nest. some birds mimic each other, and some like to come out and investigate people. they have cool ways of interacting with each other too. tufted titmice will take turns at a feeder, while sparrows will fight to the death. for such stupid seeming little animals, theyre actually incredibly smart and interesting to watch once you get the hang of it.

gonna page my fellow rdrama user and elite birdwatcher @CRUSTY for more insight. he’s better than I am

Seriousposting Over, go find some birds!!!