On a website full of terminally online autists, people post pretty much whenever they're awake. So, if you scrape their most recent 750 comments, you can plot when they comment and figure out when they sleep. Then, using this IDF-tier intel, you can safely steal their car while they are blissfully dreaming of bussy.
Since we know @carpathianflorist is a darn Yank, he's in UTC-5 EST for most of the data, more recently UTC-4 EDT. We see a small blip in posting at 6 AM when he wakes up, which continues up through 11 PM local time, until he always goes AFD (Away From Drama) from 2โ6 AM or so. We also see a prominent noontime spike for lunch. Unfortunately, the rest of the data lacks sufficient statistical power to determine if he has a favored time for an on-the-clock afternoon shit.
Compare that to @bye who is shifted almost perfectly three hours behind
, putting him in UTC-8 PST / UTC-7 PDT on the West Coast. Looks like a 9 PM dinnertime and typically staying up poasting until 2 AM. Imagine: to get info this good a few decades ago, you'd have to follow someone around all day in a suspiciously well-maintained Crown Vic while wearing dark sunglasses. Now they give it away for free!
@Aevann is in UTC+2 EET
. Unlike our other examples, he's obviously a codecel because he doesn't sleep, and he's most reliably active from 4PM to 3AM local time.
Finally, we can use @zozbot to judge general site commenting activity. Ze replies to one in a thousand comments, giving us a truly random sample. It's fairly similar to Carp's chart, so either the site is being carried by East Coast Ameroids, or everyone here except me is actually Carp.
If you want a chart for your own account, ask and you'll get it for free 
. If you want to find out when your rDrama crush is active so you can harass them most efficiently, 100 DC 
gets you whomever you want, either publicly if requested in this thread or privately in DMs with the utmost confidentiality. (Terms and conditions apply: if the account of interest is private, I can't get the comments, and I will keep your dramacoin as an r-slur surcharge and probably post about it to shame you.)
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do me pls
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Not based at all, I look terminally online ๐๐๐
Should touch some grass
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Do me. I think i have very erratic patterns lets see
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Ah, the scalene triangle. I don't know what sort of lifestyle produces a shape like this, but after comparing it to all the ones so far, you look pretty unique
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Sounds about right
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Impressive spread for a relatively low comment count!
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zoz
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zle
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zozzle
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Me please if you're still doing them, I need to be shamed
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I think I'm rate-limited hardcore from my home IP, but by bouncing my connection through SEVEN PROXIES, I am still doing the needful.
Unfortunately, this reveals that you are among the least shameful in this thread. Better luck next time with breaking your addiction.
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Huh, thanks, guess I need to start setting my alarm for the middle of the night to write random comments
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Do me!
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Babe, wake up! New Suprememe comment activity chart just dropped!
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I was expecting inexplicable amounts of activity across all hours. I gotta up those numbers.
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If you do mine you can probably discover my work hours (since I shitpost on drama while on the clock)
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Well, you're most active for 12hrs each day from 16Z-04Z. Desk job where you can shitpost is probably going to be normal daytime work hours. And there's the Pacific Ocean constraining our options here. Prolly somewhere west of the Mississippi.
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I'm east of the Mississippi and work evening shifts
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do me please
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If you insist
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Whatโs my stats?
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These are your stats!
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Me next!
Transform your Marseys!
www.pastebin.com/Jj9URfVi
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You're a proud member of club 'wtf when do you sleep'! Alternatively, club amphetamines.
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Hahaha, my schedule's all over the place.
Transform your Marseys!
www.pastebin.com/Jj9URfVi
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im interested in seeing mine, my sleeping schedule is all over the place lol
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You should look at some of the other people in this thread. You look like a straight-laced alarm clock salaryman compared to these degenerates.
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do me
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If that isn't affirmative and enthusiastic consent, I don't know what is. Consider yourself done.
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I sleep, sometimes
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Gimme a graph please
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Wrong time zone for Elon. Also we know he doesn't sleep. Might be an impostor.
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Actually cool post lmao
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I am the very model of a Drama Chart Enthusiast
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Do me please!
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WTF do you do at 18:00 UTC
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Dunno.
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I imagine my plot is flat plz confirm
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Poor introspection, sweaty. Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.
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Wow that actually makes me feel a bit better, maybe I wonโt delete my account
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Do me!!!!
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We got another no sleeper! (sweet sine-wave looking thing tho. ur circadian rhythm would bop as a synthesizer preset)
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do me baby please im begging you
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wow, i hecking love Computer Science!
thank you mr codecel
i post too much tho ๐๐
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Do
@Snappy next
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i dunno if i post regularly enough for this to even really work
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I think you might be active enough. It's close thoughโonly just barely.
You and
@DrTransmisia are both very responsible adults with your bedtimes.
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Not bad, this is you
Not gonna guessing the timezone. Post it yourself
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As you can see from the sparse band gap in your scatterplot, I am clearly in the Pitcairn Islands
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Big data is what midwits say to justify how massively overpaid they are
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Yes.
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Try to guess where I live
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You look one hour earlier than Carp and the other (L)east Coasties just in general. And you don't seem far enough west to make it to Europe. So probably EST/EDT or maybe the maritime provinces. So that leaves CA/US/BR/AR/UY. We know what BR does to gays (ladyboy supremacy). Your English is too good for AR/UY. So Atlantic North America.
But why do I get the sense this is a trick question.
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It's bongland (not a bong, just here), i'm just surprised there's a pattern, I've been sleeping at weird times lately due to uni shit.
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uni? what do you study?
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law, graduating this year
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If you're sitting at a table with a group of non-Bongs and one is a Bong, you're sitting at a table full of Bongs
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On my mind
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Do me please too bb
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West Coast? Alaska? Hawaii? I'm normally way better at guessing than this, but that also requires assuming something like a normal person's schedule. My first mistake was assuming dramanauts were normal in any way.
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I'm in PST. You can see when I do my after work shit.
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Canucks confirmed abnormal, likely extraterrestrial
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Oo ooo. Do me do me
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You and
@sardine both need help.
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My sleeping schedule is fricked
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Who needs sleep
:
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Do me pls
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This is perhaps one of the most healthy yet. You limit your posting predominantly to the evening, like a well-adjusted person. Also, Magyarorszรกg really ought to be +2/+3 from solar time, and your chart does look an hour off from the more western +1/+2 users. Though you could also just go to bed an hour earlier, but I'll pretend there's enough statistical power to made broad claims like that.
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cool
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You didn't ask, but you shall receive.
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wow thats a graph that im looking at here
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