Holy fricking shit. I want to bang the family dog so goddarn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the pound I jizz massive tsunamis. I've seen literally every dog lipstick post there is online. My dreams are nothing but constant fricking s*x with dogs. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my panties and knowing that those are nuts that should've been squirted taking in gargantuan red rockets. I want to have my mutant human/dog babies.
Frick, my fricking dad caught me with the dog. I'd dressed him in my sister's bts cosplay and went to fricking town. He hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried he's gonna take away my hot chip and phone. I might not ever get to see mutant dogpeepee again.
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What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you little rentoid? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Wharton, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on squatters, and I have over 300 confirmed evictions. I am trained in cutting off utilities and I'm the top cable cutter in the entire Beth Shalom Temple. You are nothing to me but just another renthog. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of landlords across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your credit score. You're fricking evicted, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can evict you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in keeping security deposits, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the landlord association and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fricking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddarn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fricking homeless, kiddo.
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