Bard spotting on Bluesky 08 December 2024

Ed Zitron (@edzitron.com):

So this is now my biggest following I've ever had online and I did not realise that there are people that have day long arguments all the time in your mentions. It's beautiful.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Telling them "get a room you five" is a trap, too

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I think we are all overlooking the single most important thing to discuss right this moment:

How come, in zombie movies, no one anywhere ever has a suit of LARP chain mail? Or butcher's chainmail? Or even lamellar? You can't tell me a zombie horde is biting thru a SWAT team's anti-knife suit

Snazzy, filthy gunpla scrub (@snazzy.bsky.social):

Didn't at least one movie/series/book show someone getting basically swamped by zombies and/or getting limbs broken even if they couldn't get bit? I might be hallucinating but I feel like I've seen it.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I think I've seen that - esp. fast zombie depictions. The Zerg rush.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

The second job I had out of University, there was this guy who — despite being the most incompetent and bigoted dipshit to work in tech — made the managers laugh. Literal worldclass comedian chops. When his manager left, he burned 15 months worth of unfiled disciplinary writeups on the guy

Aaron Sofaer ✍️🏳️⚧️ (@aaronsofaer.bsky.social):

Firing people also requires a lot of paperwork even at the easiest of times. Shame if the people filing paperwork to fire people for slow rolling paperwork gets slow rolled!

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

If a middle manager can keep Dave "Rename Autoexec.bat to Autoexec.butt to change the file association" H. employed for a year and a half after the infamous "Take the 17 year old college intern to the titty bar" incident —

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Taking the college intern (17) to the strip bar - on the clock - was not the worst thing he did.

If your vehicle was struck by a flaming potato while driving near 635 & Midway in Dallas in 1994 in the middle of the night, you may be entitled to piss on Dave H's grave

Paul Riddell (@kyloboomhauer.bsky.social):

So there's a FACE behind this? I heard about it, but completely forgot about it until now.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Dave and his goddarned potato cannon, mounted on the bed of his stereotypically redneck lifted pickup

Paul Riddell (@kyloboomhauer.bsky.social):

I worry that I actually worked with a copycat potato chucker: the guy I suspected of this later became a brony.

Null convention (@nullconvention.bsky.social):

I've noticed that cis people who want to lecture trans people about bringing "drama from twitter" came here after we did, decided to start drama like from twitter here, with us, and don't ever lecture cretins like Singal like they do with us. Funny how that happens every single time.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Things I want blasted from 11 foot tall Marshall stacks

Kiraculous the Cyborg🏳️⚧️ (@kiraculous.net):

what's worse than a migraine? a brain freeze too!

Kiraculous the Cyborg🏳️⚧️ (@kiraculous.net):

i was cold and needed food so i got ice cream...

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Pity I couldn't warm your tongue

Kiraculous the Cyborg🏳️⚧️ (@kiraculous.net):

🥵

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

YESS

YESSSS

Murph (@murphtracks.bsky.social):

I have one more moderation question. I noticed this particular bot network following the fake AFA account. All of them are squatting on Democrat-related handle names and mass following to gain followers. Posts are identical.

Is this allowed in Bluesky TOS? This it's just platform manipulation.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

T&S did mention that their impersonation policy prohibited namesquatting. This might be covered by that.

Murph (@murphtracks.bsky.social):

I'm formatting some text to paste into reports in case that helps 🤷‍♀️

mallory 🌷 (@normal.lol):

one weird trick to get a man to kiss u

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Elizabeth Taylor is on the Ouija and she says "YouKre doing incredible, dahling"

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I think we are all overlooking the single most important thing to discuss right this moment:

How come, in zombie movies, no one anywhere ever has a suit of LARP chain mail? Or butcher's chainmail? Or even lamellar? You can't tell me a zombie horde is biting thru a SWAT team's anti-knife suit

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Honestly, the people surviving the horde of fast zombies are the teenagers working at Home Depot making suits of lamellar & plate out of galvanised roofing & spears out of oak bannister dowels

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I think we are all overlooking the single most important thing to discuss right this moment:

How come, in zombie movies, no one anywhere ever has a suit of LARP chain mail? Or butcher's chainmail? Or even lamellar? You can't tell me a zombie horde is biting thru a SWAT team's anti-knife suit

Jonathan Eyler-Werve (@jonathan.eylerwerve.com):

drooly abrasion is bad though right? I got some midgrade shop gloves and they will stop a knife but you're still gonna have a bad time if you get chewed on.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Could be. Some quilted padding or even a nylon undergarment would mitigate the abrasion factor. Long sleeved cotton workshirts, maybe

Jane Ball (bæddel battle crow era) (@baeddel.meangirls.online):

THIS IS BAIT DO NOT TAKE IT

james (@james.claims):

Kudos 🥂

Lettuce, Fidèle Castrée (@latisserande.bsky.social):

wait if he's lying about this shit then honestly that makes him so fricking pathetic? like we- sorry, I'm a useless grass-averse b-word so I was gonna lower the rent on here big time, but him lying makes him a lot sadder than uh, me

lmao

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

JS is an adherent to the "Peace, Legitimacy, and the Equilibrium" thesis. Making this statement is somehing he knows cannot strip him of any legitimacy nor disrupt any equilibrium against him

Lettuce, Fidèle Castrée (@latisserande.bsky.social):

I don't know if that'll work out as well as it did for the author of that, but let's work towards a different (and shorter!) outcome

Jane Ball (bæddel battle crow era) (@baeddel.meangirls.online):

THIS IS BAIT DO NOT TAKE IT

james (@james.claims):

Kudos 🥂

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

It is indeed

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

… this is the loudest "Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made a Great Point" headline

Int Policy Digest (@intpolicydigest.org):

Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad's apparent downfall owes much to the efforts of Turkey's Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.

Brooke (@brooklynmarie.bsky.social):

Fricking lol.

The Associated Press (@apnews.com):

BREAKING: Russian state news agencies report ousted Syrian President Bashar Assad and his family are in Moscow and given asylum.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I just knew that descent path looked too gentle there at the end.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Oh, this hat? The one I'm wearing? The one that someone put a wad of bubblegum in sometime before I picked it up and nestled it onto my head? This hat?

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Peter Quill … I'm gonna need a saving throw against your own Willpower …

Ooooh a 4?

How do you wanna do this …?

Micah (@rincewind.run):

we can have a vibrant community of trans people or we can have Singal and his followers

maybe that's not a choice you want to make as a platform, but if you don't make it the trans people will make it for you by leaving

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

The /r/AgainstHateSubreddits Open Letter was, at its root, "Hey Reddit, do something about the harassing bigots or we're leaving with our communities", with teeth and some good timing

I do see teeth and timing sprouting up here

𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖈𝖆 🏳️⚧️👻 (@spookalucca.games):

Bluesky can't keep quiet starting Monday. Movement will happen on this then.

Sy Nakamura Hates Santa Claus (@princewiddershins.bsky.social):

HECK THE FRICK NO - > @krassenstein.bsky.social

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Remind me - are they just grifters posing as journ*lists or are they bumbling useful idiots or are they genuinely openly dangerous

Sy Nakamura Hates Santa Claus (@princewiddershins.bsky.social):

Yes

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

The All Of The Above

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

But, really, folks, here's your obscure fun fact for the day

The Assyrian for "panic" is lu ha-a-a-at-tum

Yaknow, the thing stereotypical vampires say,

Blah, ha - ah - ah, doom

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

It helps sometimes to know that the bad guys have trapped themselves in millennia-ancient meme cages

Sarah T Roberts, PhD (@ubiquity75.bsky.social):

This is so ridiculous, insulting and embarrassing.

Christine Kooi (@christinekooi.bsky.social):

UCLA is creating an entirely AI-generated course. Except apparently the grading won't be AI-generated. 🤔

newsroom.ucla.edu/stories/comp...

strawberry garfield (@bbburgerrr.bsky.social):

if i were TAing for this class i would be piiiiissssssed

strawberry garfield (@bbburgerrr.bsky.social):

also lol did you take a close look at the "textbook" cover at the top of the press release? cuz it's apparently titled "Of Nerniacular Latin To An Evoolitun On Nance Langusages"

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Narniacular Latin

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Spoken by Mr Tumnus, of course

I walked into the wardrobe & found there a winter wonderland, mark me down for a 100% for the course, kindly, thank you

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

"I'm a trans woman in Gotham …"

Chad Loder (@chadloder.bsky.social):

Why would Israel be bombing Syrian intelligence buildings that house Assad regime records and documentation

Leah McElrath (@leahmcelrath.bsky.social):

⚠️ Israel is also bombing locations in the Syrian capital of Damascus, including the Customs Administration building (which is also a site for intelligence services), the Scientific Research Complex, and the Mazzeh Airbase (which is also a site of another torture prison).

talia jane ❤️🔥 (@taliajane.bsky.social):

why do you think? (genuine q im dumb)

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

With Israel, "because we don't control asset & there will be no repercussions for destroying asset" is sufficient calculus to explain & predict their actions

Emad.family.gaza 🍉🍉 (@emadfamily1.bsky.social):

Please help if you can. A repost or donation can give us a chance to recover. 🙏

timothy chitterton richards (@jazzpomegranate.bsky.social):

the moment i fricked a white b-word was the moment i stopped being black

Sage 🏳️⚧️ (@trans.bsky.social):

"why the frick am i following a creep who looks like a school shooter incel - oh it's jazz doing another bit ok"

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Had me in the first five quarters of the venture capital fundraising round, ngl

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I wish I were so talented as to be able to Spookperson that profile banner tho

Oku ΘΔ (@oku.mow.haus):

Reminder that "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria" was coined by a transphobic researcher who got all of her information by going on to TERF forums and asking the viciously transphobic parents of trans youth for anecdotes about their kids "randomly becoming trans one day".

Anna Phylaxis (@quatoria.bsky.social):

Here we see contemporary coverage of Jesse Singal's work pushing the thoroughly debunked "contagion" theory of transness, ROGD.

He's been one of the foremost voices pushing and advocating this spurious, outside-in view of transness that focuses on how shocking it is to unsupportive parents.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

The /r/science thread discussing the original ROGD paper :

old.reddit.com/r/science/co...

Top comment: "This is pseudoscience of the worst kind"

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jagldyome3h27twtp46nxen7/bafkreiglsmalna7yjd6cgubocq4eklyqz3kap2u7kozk64bkhpxvcnjd4e@jpeg

Rapid-onset gender dysphoria in adolescents and young adults may spread through groups of friends or online sources, and may be a harmful coping mechanism like drugs, alcohol or cutting, a new study s...

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Honorable mention for "Holy mother of selection bias, considering that the first "observations" of this phenomenon were reported by anti-trans groups masquerading as pro-trans groups."

Wynn Thornton (Needs-a-job arc) (@northwind.bsky.social):

Although I concur with this assessment in theory, I feel like it's not an exceptionless statement. Specifically, when I was more active in social media moderation, I feel comfortable saying that there's at least one situation in which off-platform behavior would be considered:

(1/)

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Those of us merely using the service are free to organise our communities and our community boundaries as we see fit.

BlueSky T&S is limited to evaluating — for very good reasons — Behaviour on Platform.

We already know how to respond to CryptoKiwiFarmer "Journ*list" newcomer dude.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

T&S used to do that kind of thing, but are prohibited from doing so by policies, now, designed to protect from liability — because proving (to a court) that a UCHISP had the ability & opportunity to proactively moderate, means they had the ability & opportunity to prevent copyright violations …

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

A catch-22 of legal theory arising from the interaction of DMCA & S230

Mallory Moore (@mall.bsky.social):

"Transexual is bad because it has the word s*x in it and it sounds like homosexual" is the funniest most retro op post to have opped on these here blue skies

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

The only good argument I've come across for eyeing "transsexual" as a problem, is that it was used almost entirely by Zucker type hatekeeper/gatekeepers & by trolls running flamewar scripts. That was 2019. We are no longer at such social conditions.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I don't purport to speak for BlueSky Trust & Safety;

I'm going to make a prediction based on my own Scientific Wild A## Guesses, from observing Bsky T&S as well as other UCHISP T&S deal with KiwiFarms-adjacent / crypto-bigot personalities —

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

No UCHISP can possibly be a team of experts possessing the deepest lore about every single person and business and org and entity on the planet; They cannot speak every language; they cannot know every comer's every alt account across every social media ever.

So they use "Behaviour on Platform".

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

UCHISPs with "all comers" (general, open invitation to sign up) User Agreements are (generally) making a contract with those who sign up - "Don't use the platform to do X, Y, or Z — and we will let you use it."

bsky.social/about/suppor...

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jagldyome3h27twtp46nxen7/bafkreiaesithifdwtqxicfqcyy5ifk6qcewdiglvqtnhglpferyq4bkcdu@jpeg

Terms of Service - Bluesky

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

There is now, and has been for a very long time, an effort — orbiting KiwiFarms-adjacent "free speech for me, but not for thee" powerful politicos, to bait lawsuits & scenarios that can be spun into case law to murk the entire industry of UCHISPs, or at least plucky startups not owned by Peter Thiel

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

SHOW MORE

AkivaMCohen (@akivamcohen.bsky.social):

This, btw, is one reason I really wish people interviewing attorneys to decide who to retain would ask us real questions about our ethics and personal priorities, not just about our rates or our plan of action

AkivaMCohen (@akivamcohen.bsky.social):

Most of the time, it comes down to trust. And when that trust is abused, people should be able to get justice.

FanOfWalt (@fanofwalt.bsky.social):

A list of Smart Questions to Ask of a Potential Representing Attorney would be extremely helpful.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

"What does «overriding good faith» mean to you?"

Karl (sad trombone noise enthusiast) (@brainnotonyet.bsky.social):

What accounts aren't supposed to be on there David? Please give me exact names so I can tell you why they're on there or so. I can decide if I should remove them.

David Clarke (@davidclarke76.bsky.social):

1/ Here's two I found near the top that are the opposite of far right, but somehow are on a block list for far right accounts.

@jacksonhoieantifa.bsky.social

@navkushal.bsky.social

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Are you saying you can't glean why an account purporting to be antifascist group organising in a seasonal mountain resort for the ultra-ultra-rich, where the account handle is spelled H O i E instead of "hole" … might be even a little suspect

Karl (sad trombone noise enthusiast) (@brainnotonyet.bsky.social):

David rescinded his comment, deleted his post and put up an apology because he listened to what we had to say. David seems to be one of a good ones.

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Oh good, then I will uh, rescind my "where's the fettucine?" question

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

I've finally accomplished my lifelong goal of making a joke in an extinct language so obscure that only a dozen people in the world would recognise and understand it, in a way none of them will ever see it

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Folks, if you want a surefire formula for understanding the "hidden" agenda of pundits, take the first sentence / clause of each paragraph (the thesis statement) and put them in simplified form together.

"I cannot understand gender identity disorder; we cannot permit treatment"

Michael Hobbes (@michaelhobbes.bsky.social):

I dunno David, showing sympathy for a group usually includes opposing state efforts to ban the healthcare that they need.

www.nytimes.com/2024/12/08/o...

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

NO ONE would be able to say that this person was writing or acting in good faith with such a summary. It would be like saying he doesn't understand proton decay therefore nuclear power must be banned, that he doesn't understand F=ma therefore we mustn't put satellites in orbit

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

It is a Flat Earther level of arrogance and hubristic self-importance to insert himself and the hijacked political apparatus of the State into the health care decisions of arbitrary citizens, WHICH IS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS

Staccata (@stacy.is.relentlessly.online):

a small, harmless spider just crawled across the bed at my hotel and now i want to cry and go home

Ms. Penny Oaken, SkyWitch (@skywitches.net):

Spiders eee 😣

I am certain you do not wish to argue that several years ago you assaulted me at Tanglewood Forest. Several of your fellow company members have chased me and thwapped me with Amtgard -legal boffer weapons on Company Road while I was making announcements on behalf of Kingdom Officers.