Anarcho-Syndicalist-Trotskyist-Stalinist Cuban Revolutionary 
made me hungry
The real Asian Street Food was not the Michelin Bib Gourmand awarded Oyster Omelettes I had in the morning
Nor a similarly Michelin awarded pork innards noodle soup that seemed to be hit so hard by inflation that they served us this in a huge bowl (we paid extra for the egg too)
But the random unsung street hawker hero you'll find at a random 7-11 or convenience store all around Asia (except Singapore because 
) in the wee hours
Who might be smoking and talking shit with his buddies at the side but still notices you looking and asks you for your order
Whose menu probably made in notepad is simply "chicken", "pork", "beef", "seafood" with rice or one of the 819 types of asian noodles
Who then whips up the obvious choice of seafood instant noodles on the grill and tells you to frick off to the 7-11 first if you don't like to wait
Whose fricking culinary masterpiece hits you right in the nose when you take it out of the takeaway bag and into a proper bowl 
Who mogs your cooking because your supper avoidant wife finishes half the bowl when you offer her a bite
Whose mastery of cooking 4 types of proteins with 820 types of carbs you'll never beat because you were never from the favelas
Sadly the only proof I have of him existing is this random chopstick, wedge of lime and random thai/asian seasonings in a non-descript plastic bag, but IYKYK
This post is fricking gay and unnecessary but 
enveloped my soul as I had the first REAL asian street food meal ever since fricking covid broke
And I still vividly remember it being a warm and comforting bowl of congee that I had while severely hungover/drunk in Phnom Penh a couple hours or five after midnight
That's why I know how to make congee: https://rdrama.net/h/food/post/229447/marseyitsoverwerebackchingchon-X (formerly chiobu)s-silky-cantonese-congee-recipe
They even help to keep Asians relatively slim because:
The serving sizes are just perfect
50% of the time it'll give you the shits anyway
!goyslopenjoyers plz try the asian goyslop if you ever come across it
God I feel like just taking that walk down a dark alleyway just to order another bowl right now
Neighbour did I really longpost over a $5 bowl of instant noodles
Worth it
Frick it I'll just do it for the pics brb
They were literally just cleaning up when I reached FRICK
AT LEAST I have some more proof of his existence 
And the name of his stall is literally just "pad thai" bro I love you but that's not gonna help even if your genius was operating in Finland or something
But at the end of the day the absolute balls to call yourself "pad thai" because you know that you're the best and deserve it
Ok I'm going to bed sad now because it's like some love story where you missed "the one" by 5 minutes due to longposting on a orange cat enjoying homo forum good night
Also I should have lied that the noodles had thai estradiol or something so the !jannies would pin my effortpost but alas I guess that would be too many thanks 
posts for their tastes
Lmao suddenly thought of the "Sorrowful Rice" dish
went back tonight and was shocked but not really surprised that it was packed full of locals 
another testament to the chef's skills
gonna dig in now with some thai whisky for the full thai experience too, the place also makes oyster omelettes so I had to try since the Michelin ones were pretty meh
Update: Pad thai was amazing as usual and they should stick to that IMO 
oyster omelette tasted bad to me but maybe that's their style since I didn't like the other ones too 
the noodles though O M G
edit: alcohol purchase hours are so weird here because you're allowed to buy booze from 11am onwards till midnight except for a 3 hour period between 2-5 pm lol
something to take note of if you ever come to thailand
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frick yes you did queen. there is nothing better in life than a good noodle. i hope you're having a lot of fun on your vacation and get to overdose on MSG and carbs
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So fresh
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First thing I see when I wake up is all the delicious seafood I'm not eating
it looks so good hbgngnhng I'm coming on the next vacation 
Do you guys ever frick with abalone back home? We have a lot of Chinese and they love it, I've never tried it but I kinda want one of the pretty shells
so I'll have to figure out a way to get my hands on some to try it
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to think i almost cancelled my reservation because I felt lazy after shopping with the foid since 8 in the morning under the scorching bangkok sun
THANK GOD youtube's algo literally showed me this 
it's really good! like their variety of premium dishes was so much i only ended up only having that one serving of sashimi which never happens
i can't imagine that they were actually serving dry-aged slabs of wagyu beef, i watched this random mayo next to us just chomping down plates and plates of tomahawk steaks and the most surprising thing was that he's a rather slim dude lmao
ok i'm rambling again sorry
yeah 100% we do, along with the other types of asians
japanese abalones are pretty expensive and the korean island i visited last year has this culture of female seafood divers so it was really cool to watch them (they're real old too, like in their 70s and 80s) surface up from the sea with a bag of fresh catch you can buy off of her then and there lol
also chinese/lunar new year is coming and abalone is served a lot during that period so it's usually at a discounted price in the next month or so
usually we'd just buy the deshelled ones that are already canned and season, although you'd be able to find both thawed and frozen half-shelled ones here too
seems like there are abalone in BC but they've banned the harvesting of it
maybe you can find some mexican abalones since they're a source for us too lol
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Hope you guys are sunscreenmaxxing
Do not ever apologize for telling me about a buffet
Do they limit the amount of the premium ones you can get? Some don't and I don't get how that's profitable for them at all, I'm sure it works out for them but I feel so
flipping to the premium section first so I don't fill up on plebian slop first lol
The coolest buffet I've ever been to was this Brazilian steakhouse (in a mall lmao) but they just bring giant skewers of various fancy delicious meats around and slice you off some, they had some claims about different fancy cuts of beef but I also kinda doubted it because the price did not cover anywhere near the amount of beef I ate
Also before we went my friend was like "here I know you don't smoke weed but have some it'll make you hungrier" so I did and then I just got so anxious lmfao
spaghetti was falling out of my pockets, I suddenly became aware that I was white trash surrounded by people like 3 class levels above me, I had an r-slur moment and served myself a bowl of salad dressing instead of lobster bisque 
lmfao 
and then I just ate a shit ton of salad drowned in dressing because I was scared they would come at the end and be like "EXCUSE ME MISS WE HAVE TO CHARGE FOR THE UNEATEN LARGE BOWL OF SALAD DRESSING YOU INEXPLICABLY HAVE"
Omfg that's so cool. My mom used to sew dive suits for the DOD here and also just general divers and apparently one of their benefits was big seafood dinners their clients would set up for them as thanks, honestly do not know why she ever quit that job
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they don't do that there (the mayo beside us managed to snag endless plates of dry-aged wagyu steaks) but the price they're charging for a sunday brunch is more than a month's worth of normie meals for the thais
street food is SUPER cheap here even for south east asian standards
Was it some churrasco place? I've never tried those even though they've been in singapore for decades lol, might be something to pencil in for the near future
brazilian picanha steaks though
cheap and tender and so tasty 
lol speaking of that the mayo beside us (sorry for constantly bringing him up but he's a really amusing character) apparently grabbed a few plates of food to his table only to have the very nice service staff clear them out before he even touched it according to my wife
i can see it happening because they did the same thing to us a few times too
like they're nice and all but the food wastage was insane
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yeah it's that texas de brazil one that someone else mentioned here! definitely worth the money, though i just looked up churrasco and i think i need to try that too. valentines is coming up 👀 i'll see what i can swing
lmfao i love that you keep bringing him up tbh, new life goal of being the mayo tourist eating so much at the buffet that people talk about me after
that place sounds so fancy though now i'm kinda bummed that the fanciest buffet around these parts is mostly just red meat, it's good but it sounds like there was so much more variety there and also not having to worry you're going to get charged for having eyes bigger than your stomach sounds like beautiful hedonism 
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I'm just a bit bummed because I'd have struck up a conversation if I was alone because I have so many questions LOL
like he exuded a competitive eater kind of vibe and not the random greedy obeast if that even makes sense
It really is
Come to south East Asia
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His wife or something was cleaning up and she seemed confused when I whipped out my camera so I told her I had to take pics for my wife and she laughed and let me carry on
BUT FRICK if I didn't long post I might have made it oh well
I'm at the convenience store coping rn looking at the brand of noodles he used
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my dad was working at an indian clients house and kept looking over while the lady was making roti and asked to take a picture of the stack of roti to send to me cus he loves indian food despite being a
and i think she cured like half his racism by making him a big container to take home with him 
i need one of each immediately!!!! also i like this little fella
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I think those are the seafood ones!!
https://www.mama.co.th/en/products-export-cate-list-detail/20/17/34/217/Mama-Brand-Instant-Cup-Noodles-Seafood-Flavour
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i love mama noodles, like half of the noodles here are those thicker 'udon type' ones
not really udon but what they call it. the broth is good but god i wish mama would come out with more broths and BTFO these ones cus the thin style is sooo much better
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the chef stir-fried a pre-boiled wedge of mama noodles and threw on a dollop of some orange looking sauce and continued stir-frying and that's it
the funny thing is that every asian mama will tell you some cautionary MSG tale related to drinking instant noodle broths
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If he ever gets the chance to tell him to try Afghan bread. I liked it more than fancy frog breads straight from yurop at least, its so good.
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Yesss top tier flatbread
tbh every flatbread is great except frick Ethiopia's 
You should post recipes for us on the food hole, I say that my fam likes Indian food but I'm pretty sure most mayos here have never had anything authentic. Just "curries" lol
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Lol it means a foid snake. Weird choice for name regardless cause it's associated with a barely not soft porn series of films about women who can turn into snakes.
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